Epilogue Part 3

" Why did Sonja do that to him, Baby? — I can't hold back the tears that run down my eyes, there's nothing in this world that can explain something so monstrous. — How could she do that to a child? Her own son?
" Sonja was an advanced psychopath. — Baby shrugs, looking at me melancholically. — She felt a twisted love of pure possession for Jonathan, an immeasurable jealousy. She couldn't stand anyone near him, no one would get close to Roy, even Dad would barely be around him. She went even crazier when my father admitted her to the mental hospital. — I take the bottle of wine from Baby's hand and fill my glass. — Aunt Charlotte felt that something bad was happening, so after talking to my father so much, he finally gave in and put a camera in the room, hiding it inside a bear.
" The footage that shows Sonja abusing Jonathan... — I bring the glass to my lips, feeling the taste of the wine mix with my tears. — Baby nods, her eyes red from crying. — Did Roy see that recording? Does he know how his father found out?
" No, only Aunt Charlotte and I watched it. In fact, I ended up finding the tape by chance. And what I saw... My God! Gim, what I saw on that tape was cowardly, disgusting and monstrous. — Baby sobs, covering her mouth, her voice trembling from crying. — Roy wasn't cold and controlling like our father, as I thought, Roy had been destroyed. She made him cold like that, she cursed him with that nefarious love she felt for my brother. I didn't need to tell him how I knew, my look must have given me away. The pain inside me screamed across my melancholic face, I wanted to hug Jonathan, hold him in my arms and tell him that I understood what led him to be in that empty, emotionless state, but I didn't, because I knew it would be worse.
" Since when did Sonja do that to him, Baby? — I press my lips together, holding back my tears.
" Since she was three years old, when she left the mental hospital. — I can't speak, the words get stuck in my throat. The tears I try to hold back are released.
It's abominable! I've read articles about child and baby abuse, and it's disgusting! Horrible in every way! And knowing that the man I love went through this consumes me with pain and despair.
" God, Baby!
" Roy sought death as the only way out of the memories he had. He did this until the car accident that left him in a coma. Somehow, he locked her in some dark corner of his mind, but then...
" Did I show up? — I whisper, looking at her face, who nods at me.
" I was never in favor. At no point, Gim, I need you to understand. I'm not going to lie to you. When I first saw you at the mansion, something inside me told me what Roy was planning, but I was never in favor of it. — She smiles softly through her tears, wiping her face. — But then something unexpected happened, demolishing the block of ice that held Jonathan captive. Love. The fear of losing the only woman who truly showed him what love is... And Roy misses her, more than anything in his life.
Baby stretches out her hand, wiping my face. Looking at me affectionately, she takes the bottle from my fingers and fills her glass.
" Do you miss him, Gim?
Saying that I don't miss him is the same as claiming that my lungs don't need oxygen to sustain my life.
" I'll get us something to eat... — I try to move away, so as not to let her see how my whole world is empty without Jonathan in my life.
" I think you've already given me the answer I needed, Gim. Her eyes don't hide it. — Baby holds my chin, making me look at her, and exhales softly. — Come, show me your memories of the trip. I want to know everything, little one.
Her smile is kind and understanding, and I'm glad she changes the subject, even without understanding her calm, sisterly look. Baby doesn't stay long, in fact, her visit doesn't even last an hour. I thought she would spend the night with me, she was even tidying up the guest room, but the blonde bombshell left the same way she arrived: with a wide smile on her lips. After washing the dishes, I walk to the couch and let my body fall slowly. I lean my face toward the door, with only Kiss echoing off my walls, coming from the apartment across the street.

“Oh, I see my future when I look into your eyes
Your love made my heart come alive
'Cause I lived my life believing that love is blind
But everything about you tells me this time it’s forever...”
I close my eyes, holding the pillow close to my heart, squeezing it in my arms, sighing wearily. This is the only moment of the day when I let my mind free, bringing him to me through my memories.
“This time I know
And I have no more doubts
Forever
Until my life is through
Girl, I’m gonna love you forever...”
God! I already hate the person living in this apartment just for making me cry holding a pillow, listening to this song, overwhelmed with so much longing and painful questions: where did he go? What places did he visit? What did he do in that year? Does he think of me with the same intensity that I think of him? Does he suffer listening to an old ballad the same way I’m suffering now?
“I have to tell you what I’m feeling inside
I could lie to myself, but it’s true
There’s no denying when I look in your eyes
Girl, I’m crazy for you
I lived so long believing that love is blind
But everything about you tells me this time it’s
Forever”
I pull the other pillow, covering my head, but the song still plays in my mind, being cradled by my heart.
“Damn it!” — I curse softly, amidst the tears.