Epilogue Part 4

I rush out, gripping the strap of my bag tightly. I glance quickly at my watch, just to make sure I’m really late. Every part of my body aches from having fallen asleep on the uncomfortable couch. As soon as the elevator doors open, I dart out, adjusting my headphones to drown out the blaring horns of the taxi drivers in the traffic. I hold the entrance door open for a resident with her children, smiling at the chubby girl in her lap. When the woman and her kids pass, I leap down the steps to reach the sidewalk faster. I look at the bustling street, with people coming and going, residents entering and exiting the building. My face turns quickly as I resume walking. But I stop, my body stiffens, my fingers crushing the strap of my bag, it’s quick, just a glance through the distracted crowd, but enough to make my body stop obeying me.
The low sound of breathing behind me is heavy, as calm as I remembered. The unmistakable scent of his perfume fills the air with every breath I take. God! I could recognize that smell in a crowded stadium at a championship final, just as I found his eyes among the people on the street when I stepped onto the sidewalk. I straighten up, closing my eyes, unsure whether I have the courage to turn around or if I’ll be able to stay on my feet, which are already starting to lose their strength. Eleven months to be exact, three hundred and thirty days, a few weeks and a few hours without seeing him, without hearing his voice, without feeling his touch or his perfume, and it still feels like it was yesterday, like a blink of an eye. I lift my fingers, taking off my headphones, turning slowly, looking down. I focus on the sidewalk in front of the building, trying to breathe without collapsing, gathering strength and courage to lift my gaze. My chest pounds erratically, like an excited rabbit. I let my eyes wander over every detail, from the dark blue jeans to the black polo shirt. One hand is in his pocket, while the other holds a brown grocery bag. The face that haunts me, making me search for him in every glance, is relaxed, just like his casual outfit. His black hair is slicked back, with only one stubborn smooth strand refusing to follow the rest, falling to the side. His blue eyes have never seemed so clear and calm, pulling me into their irises like a sunny sky. He pulls his hand from his pocket, switching the bags to the other hand, taking a step closer to me. I stand there, frozen, staring at his outstretched hand.
“Hello, I’m Roy. I think you’re my neighbor.” My lips part, breath coming in short gasps. I feel everything shifting and falling apart, as if I’ve been waiting my whole life for this.
I turn my face toward the building, biting my lips. It wasn’t luck that I found this place, nor was it a coincidence that Baby’s sudden visit brought me here. I smile calmly, trying to hide the confusion overwhelming me, knowing that Jonathan is the one torturing me with Kiss every night. I look back at his fingers, seeing his hand still waiting for me, extended. I rub my face, crinkling my nose, tapping my foot on the ground, trying to control my nervousness and anxiety.
“I moved in recently, we haven’t had a chance to meet.” A hysterical laugh escapes my lips, my eyes darting around.
“Really?” — My nervous voice comes out, rubbing my forehead again, not understanding what he’s doing.
Since when does he know about my movements? My thoughts shatter as he takes my hand, before I crush the bag again, locking me in his blue, beautiful, intense eyes.

“Let me introduce myself.” — I had forgotten how tall he is. I had forgotten how I get mesmerized when he looks at me so deeply.
“I’m late...” — I mumble quickly, taking two steps back as he takes two steps closer to me.
“My name is Jonathan. I’ve been searching for someone who crossed my path some time ago.” — I close my eyes, caught off guard by his warm breath on my face. — “I had to let her go so she could heal from the harm I caused her.”
“Please...” — I’m not ready, and I don’t think I ever will be. I had rehearsed this every night, staring at the ceiling, imagining how it would be when I found him, what I would say to him, but my heart is erasing everything my mind had planned.
“A small, curious creature, nosy, who infiltrated my mind and my heart, but I didn’t want to keep her by my side.” — His voice is as calm as the touch of his fingers on my hand. — “Because, in fact, it’s me who became attached to her, and all this time I’ve been trying to heal so I could be by her side again.”
The first intrusive tear slides down my face, and I can’t stop it, nor do my legs move away from Jonathan. He gives me this choice, his hand merely holding mine, not trapping it, and still, I don’t move away.
“I suffer from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, and that makes me a bit controlling.” — I smile through the tears, opening my eyes to see my world in front of me.
“A bit?” — I glance quickly at the building, where he’s been living across from my door all this time, without me having the slightest idea. I look back at him.
“I said I’m undergoing treatment, not that I’m completely cured.” — The smile, the small smile at the corner of his lips, looking at me as if he’s been very naughty, is my undoing. — “The thing is, I can’t control myself much when it comes to her.” — My body shivers, feeling every pulse of my vein, as his face brushes against my cheek, whispering softly.
“Have you... Have you found her?” — His hand releases mine, forcing me to place it on his chest to avoid collapsing on the sidewalk.
Jonathan moves away just enough, wrapping his arm around my waist, letting the bag hit my leg, making me stretch my neck to look at him. His eyes fall on my fingers on his chest, over his heart. I raise his hand to my chest, and every beat that pumps my heart, sending a flow of blood through my body, belongs only to him.
“I never lost sight of her, not for a second, since the moment I saw her running out of a party dressed as a bride.”
“You were there?” — I blink through my tears, unable to believe that he was there. He was watching me from afar. — “Why didn’t you go after her, Jonathan?”
“Because I love her.” — His breath warms me with every inch his face lowers. — “Because I wanted to see her happy. So I just watched her from afar, stealing her smiles, her bright eyes, until I knew I was truly ready to be the man she deserves, to start anew with my little Nautilus.”
My fingers clutch his chest, feeling every second of my life converging into being there, in his arms, finding what I’ve always sought.
“I love you, Ginger Fox. I love you forever.” — It was Roy. Every second that song played inside that apartment was him talking to me through the melody. — “And I’ve never felt as complete as I do now, finally having you.”