Ginger Fox Part 3

I'm a miserable addict, and Jonathan is my favorite drug dealer, my hell, my downfall, my master. You don't need eighty-four partners to be addicted to sex, just one. One that knocks your reasoning out of your head is enough to get you addicted to the love hormone.
"You must have a lot to sort out when you get back to Columbia, right Ginger?" I blink quickly and clear the cloud of perverted memories from my mind. I turn my attention back to Aunt Charlotte, who is staring at me.
"I certainly have some things to sort out." I smile kindly at her, seeing her expressive eyes, which are analyzing me carefully.
I look away from her, staring at the bread in my fingers, and breathe in discouragement. I have a lot to sort out. The course of my entire life, that's the truth. Tom is still a wimp, he didn't tell his mother, he just sent me a message saying he had to travel to cover a story in Cameroon and that he needs more time to talk to her. I know he's trying to buy more time, in his mind he must think that when he comes back everything will be the same as before. He doesn't understand! Nothing will be the same again! Not our relationship, not me! Since I prefer to have a conversation with my mother in person, I end up letting Tom buy the time he needs.
The first night I entered Sodom, I gave myself a one-way ticket to an unknown world, amidst the darkest sexual desires.
"That's the good part about being young, we can still get everything in order." Charlotte lifts her coffee cup, bringing it to her lips and sipping it calmly. "What do you plan on doing when you get back?"
"Get a full-time job, maybe go back to college..."
"Don't you plan on having children, Miss Fox?" The bread in my hand almost falls, from the surprise I feel when I hear her question, which leaves me flustered. Baby's dry cough comes out strangled, as she sits next to me.
"Christ! You old gossip, stop asking such absurd questions! You're making Gim uncomfortable." Baby lifts her napkin, wiping her mouth and looking at me, holding back a laugh.
"That would be an absurd question if it had been directed at you, freak!" I hear the sound of Jon's laughter, sitting next to me, listening to the two of them exchanging barbs early in the morning, as usual. "I'm past the age of beating around the bush in conversation, I asked a simple question..."
"Actually, I haven't thought about children yet, Madame Roy," I answer her question before the two of them can start fighting again. "Maybe one day, who knows..."
"You'll be a great mother one day, Gim. And woe betide you if you don't ask me to be your godmother. Who knows, Jon and I could go visit you in Columbia one day, right, Jon?" — Baby stretches her neck over the table, looking at Jon, who is sitting on the other side of me and just confirms with a slight shrug. — I can even take you, old hag, to get off this island for a while.
“As if I needed you to get off.” Aunt Charlotte exhales, showing disgust and landing her eyes on Lorane.
I see the elegant woman, apathetic, looking at her untouched coffee. The empty chair next to her leaves a bad feeling every time I look at the seat. It's as if I can see Bob there, sitting, with his Joker smile and mocking phrases. No one says anything, there was not a single question about what really happened to that boy, if he slipped, tripped or was pushed. Bob did not wake up after the surgery, his coma worsened, leaving him to be kept alive by machines. Lorane and Baby go on with their lives, as if they did not know the truth behind that accident. I still see him lying on the floor every time I pass by the stairs.
"Stay locked in here, then! The important thing is that Jon and I are going to visit Gim and her
son.
"God, Baby! — I turn, looking at her, feeling my face burn. — I don’t plan on having a child tomorrow.
"But you will, you’re young. You’ll find a sexy guy, who isn’t a jerk, and make little Gingers
curious with him...
The sound of a throat clearing is made at the end of the table. Jonathan’s face is turned to his breakfast, staring at him with the purest bitterness. The fatal blonde falls silent and her cheeks flush, quickly looking at her slice of cake, as if she had just committed a crime. Roy doesn’t look in my direction for a second, just focuses on leaving the cup centered in the same direction as his cake plate, organizing his cutlery. Roy says absolutely nothing about himself or his past. For all these days sharing more than human warmth like rabbits, I still see him as a dark sea, too deep to dive into. Jonathan allows me to see only the tip of the great iceberg that he is. The information I have is only what Baby tells me, and even that is vague, with loose ends, which I find myself tangled up in, racking my brains to figure out. It's as if he has a radar every time I look at him, because it doesn't take long for his blue irises to be petrified, staring at me, making my face burn with embarrassment for being caught red-handed, studying him. I quickly lower my head, as if I were really doing this because I wanted to and not because my body responds quickly to his domination.
"Are you going to forget about me?" I move my neck, resting my gaze on the sad face that whispers next to me, in a tone just enough for me to hear. Jon brings the glass of juice to his mouth, with his headphones turned off, resting on the back of his neck and hanging around his neck.
"Never," I whisper to him, slowly bumping my shoulder against his, seeing him leave a short smile on the corner of his lips.
Jon is the only thing that isn't confusing in my life. He has become my source of joy, which
still makes me know who I am.