Ginger Fox

Sitting on the sand at the end of a Saturday afternoon, after spending the whole day locked in my room, I watch the waves break on the shore and hold a black envelope I found on the floor near the door after I got out of the shower. In my other hand, I squeeze my phone, cursing Tom for not answering the damn call, my gaze fixed on the screen. I need to say what's happening inside me, the confusion taking over me. I need to hear his voice and see his eyes and, if I'm brave enough, confess that I kissed a woman and used a man's knee to masturbate. The video call symbol lights up, but it's not Tom's face on the other end.
“Hi.” The redhead on the line surprises me, making me quickly check the small circle in the corner of the screen to make sure I really called Tom. And yes, the only contact registered as “Love” is his. The call is correct.
“Hello, could you pass me to Tom?” My voice, though strained, comes out nervously.
“Tom is busy right now.” She makes a slow movement with her hand, and I recognize Tom’s room. She’s in his apartment.
“How?” It’s like a punch. Her words seem distant as my eyes get stuck on the red dress she’s wearing. “I—” I breathe heavily, squeezing the phone tighter.
“Would you like to leave a message, dear?” The cheerful voice on the other end asks, her broad, ironic smile evident. I’m not crazy, and I didn’t misinterpret that blur in the photo; it was a woman’s dress, the same woman now holding Tom’s phone.
“Damn it, there’s a car parked in my spot!” A familiar male voice speaks angrily. “What are you doing, sweetie?”
Tom’s face appears close to her neck, kissing her shoulder in a way that’s both affectionate and loving. His large hand squeezes one of her breasts, caressing it. He smiles, showing his white, straight teeth, which always made me admire his masculine features, looking at the phone. And in that moment, I see ten years of our lives pass in his startled gaze locked on mine.
“GIM!”
I hang up, dropping the phone in the sand next to the black envelope. My fingers rub my face. My eyes, which were already blurred by tears, are now completely streaming. I cover my mouth, the only sound accompanying me being the waves breaking as I sob, as if my heart knew and was just waiting for my eyes to see. It’s a knife piercing me, ripping my soul out. I knew we weren’t doing well, that something between us had been lost over the years, but I still refused to see that Tom was no longer the boy I fell in love with. He’s a cold man who took ten years of my life, consuming me, draining my essence, raising his finger to judge me for being a woman of proper conduct, only to find out that he’s just a lying son of a bitch. The phone on my legs vibrates, starting to ring, and I see his name on the screen. I push the phone away, screaming in pain, feeling like the worst woman on the face of the earth. What had I failed to offer him that made Tom seek another woman?
Nothing!
Absolutely nothing! I tried for all these years to be the woman he wanted, and that was my mistake. My mistake wasn’t loving Tom too much. My mistake was loving myself less, to the point of being the woman he wanted and not the woman I wanted to be. Amidst the pain and anger from the betrayal consuming me, the only thing I can remember is my father’s words. Life is like a book, and for ten years, I wrote my story on a cheap napkin that was crumpled and thrown away.
It takes an hour for the crying to leave me, and when it does, I’m as calm as the waves in the sea. My eyes are red and swollen, and my tear ducts are dry, unable to produce even a single tear. The feeling inside me is strange, torn between emotions. The old Ginger, long neglected, is happy and at peace; and on the other side of the scale is the dumb Gim, suffering from the shitty way I discovered the betrayal of that idiot. Following my father's advice, I make a decision with no turning back. I will silence this Gim that Tom created, blocking him, just as I did seconds ago with Tom’s number on my phone. There are few things in my life that I forgive, and betrayal is not one of them. The first betrayal came from me, when I lowered my head to everything Tom wanted me to be. The second came from him, who spent much of our relationship telling me how I should be a proper woman, only to be sticking his cock in some pussy at the first opportunity he got. Now, with my decision made, I’m handing the reins of my life over to the curious old Ginger. My eyes fall on the black envelope between my sandy legs, and I pull it out slowly, wiping it off, pushing away thoughts of Tom and his betrayal, along with the dumb Gim, to the deepest part of my being.
I open the envelope, pulling out a laminated golden paper, shining like a gold leaf. I smile, recalling *Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory*. But this invitation didn’t come inside a chocolate bar, and Willy Wonka’s name isn’t on the back of the leaf. Just one word, in bold black letters, impactful.

SODOMA
The letters are not lowercase; they are aggressive and intimidating capital letters that stand out, making me look with interest at the mysterious invitation. This is certainly not an invitation to tea, nor a gathering of friends, not when Sodoma is known for another kind of libertinism. I lie down on the sand, holding it up high, with my hands keeping it above my face, seeing the reflection of my face on the shiny invite, and only one thing shines in my eyes: my damned, endless curiosity.