Book 1: Chapter 11

I peeled my eyes open as the sun streamed through my windows. Last night I hadn’t closed my curtains so now the sun shined right though onto my bed. Stretching, my muscles felt like they had been wound too tight. The whole of my body cracked from neck to knees as well. We definitely did too much yesterday. Not to mention if the sun was coming through the window, we definitely missed morning training. Luckily, we weren’t doing anything new so the boys could handle it. If not, one day off wouldn’t be the worst thing.

No, the worst thing was most likely waiting for me down stairs. Silas had been absolutely livid last night and I’d hoped some sleep would have made him less mad but it was hard to tell with him. He could hold a fucking grudge like no one I had ever met. So I wasn’t about to put it past him to be even more mad this morning. Getting up, I threw on some sweats and a shirt before quietly exiting my room. If Silas was in his office already, I might be able to have breakfast without having my ass chewed out.

Sadly, that wasn’t to be the case. Silas was sitting at the kitchen island, a cup of coffee next to him as he scrolled through a tablet. I sighed and went around the island, grabbing a mug and pouring some of the coffee that was left in the pot. Looking up from his tablet, Silas didn’t have a hint of emotion on his face. It was still a toss-up at this point how much real trouble I was in.

“You wanna tell me what the fuck happened yesterday?”

*'Yup, still mad.' *Wren added and I just shoved him back.

“I wasn’t feeling so hot yesterday so I went for a run.”

Silas put down his tablet and interlaced his fingers together, his chin resting on them. “You just went for a run.”

I nodded. “I told Sam I was headed out. Told him I was feeling off.”

“So you just decided to take a run off territory as well?”

“No, I didn’t. I let Wren take over and he ran past the territory line. I didn’t plan on going off territory.”

Silas slammed his fist down on the counter, rattling his coffee mug against the marble. “How many times have I told you to get your shit together, Nate? We fucking saw rogues on the edge of the territory! You could have been royally fucked!”

“I know.” I looked down at the black liquid in the mug. “I saw them.”

“You saw them? Nate, the fuck? You could have died! The patrols said there were more than three!”

I nodded. “There were five. They found me near the edge of the forest by the city’s edge. I…took a nap and didn’t wake up in time.”

“You took a fucking nap off territory?!” Silas boomed, his Alpha presence starting to seep out. “You could have died! Five of them! You were lucky they didn’t fucking attack you! A Beta just out in the open is a sitting duck for a group like that.”

“Silas, I know, alright. I get it. I don’t need you to tell me what I did was stupid or that I almost died. Because I pretty much saw my reflection in their eyes before they headed up north. So I know.”

He shook his head. “No, you don’t get it! Because you do this all the fucking time. You go off on your own. Whether it be because you are feeling ‘off’ or you are trying to follow a ghost. It doesn’t fucking matter. I’m tried of your shit, Nate. I’m tired of hauling your ass back.”

“Then stop! I’ll make my own damn way back! I always do. It’s not like you fucking help at all.” My anger turned on like a switch. Him mentioning that I was following ghosts was a tigger. I knew what he meant. He was talking about my search for Aelia and he knew that I didn’t fucking tolerate his lectures when he talked about her.

“It’s time to stop, Nate. I’m not going to allow you to head off territory anymore without a good reason. Just wanting to go for a run or searching for someone who is dead is not a good enough reason. I’m sorry, but you’ve ran out my patience.”

I growled, slamming my mug down. “Who the fuck are you to tell me that I can’t leave?”

“You’re Alpha! Or do you forget that? We’ve been friends and brothers for a long time but it seems all that time has made you forget I’m also your fucking Alpha.”

“Oh, I know you’re an Alpha. You walk around with a stick up your fucking ass that’s apparently inserted a birth.”

Silas stood up, his palms pressed into the counter. “Don’t push me, Nate.”

“Don’t push you? Don’t fucking push YOU? If I decide I’m going to look for Aelia, you bet your fucking ass I’m going.”

“She’s dead, Nate! Just stop!”

I threw the mug into the sink, it shattering. “She’s only dead to you because you can’t admit to yourself that you gave up! You gave up looking for her and you wouldn’t be able to live with your fucking guilt for that!”

“I stopped looking because she is dead! It’s useless to try and resurrect someone who isn’t here anyone. You’re chasing ghosts instead of living here, with your pack, with your family.”

“What family, Silas?” I yelled at him. “What’s this magically family you speak of? You? Because I don’t have anyone! You don’t fucking understand what it feels like. You’ll probably be alone for the rest of your life but for the rest of us who have felt the pull of a mate bond, they are a part of your soul. I would know if Aelia died. We might not have been mated but she is still part of my soul. That fact alone should have been enough for you to fucking reject the stupid shit your father said.”

Coming around the island, I stood inches from him. With his height, I had to look up at him but it didn’t matter. I was beyond livid at this point. “The fact that you believe your father after all the shit he pulled, I wonder who you’re trying to convince. She is out there and you just abandoned her! Let the rogues take her to wherever they wanted. Let her grow up alone without her family even looking for her. You’re lying to yourself every time you say she is gone. That guilt should be eating you alive!”

His fist connected with my face before I could even register it moved. The hit was so hard and I hadn’t braced for it that I was thrown into the far wall, my shoulder cracking as it collided with it. Wincing, I kept myself righted and I chuckled hollowly.

“You would rather believe your fucking father over me. The one who actually has a connection with Aelia. You would rather live in your denial than face the fact that she is alive out there.”

His eyes shone with his Alpha aura but I knew it wasn’t Eros. Eros agreed with me but he stopped arguing with Silas about it. He used to say he would pick his battles and that was one that until Aelia came into his life, he would have to hold back.

“So let’s say that Aelia is alive. Let’s say my father lied and she’s been alive this whole fucking time.” Silas stepped forward, staring down at me. “She never came back, Nate. She never tried to come back. You’ve always gone after her but not once has she tried to come back to us. She doesn’t want us. Doesn’t want you, obviously. So fucking give it up. Alive or not, she isn’t coming back. So just fucking drop it.”

My eyes widened and I looked up at him, my left hand holding my shoulder. He was heaving, his anger boiling over and I couldn’t even articulate an answer. Silas might as well have taken a gun to my head and shot me right there. He’d never gone that far, not in all the arguments we had. Usually, he would eventually throw up his hands and walk away but this was a new level of low for him.

“Give it up, Beta. She doesn’t want you. Doesn’t want any of us. So just move the fuck on.” His voice was low as he still towered over me.

“Alpha…” Both our heads turned to see Sam, his hands in fists next to his rigid body.

Silas growled. “What Gamma?”

“I…I think…you went too far. I think…you…you should go take a lap around the territory.” Sam was shaking like a leaf but his eyes were glaring at Silas.

“Are you fucking telling me what to do?” Silas turned on him, stalking towards him.

“I…I just think…” Sam was starting to shake worse.

Mer walked up behind him though, putting a hand on his shoulder, steadying him. “Go take a fucking lap, Alpha. You’re acting like a child. Go. Now.”

Silas stood there for a moment before he finally turned. He didn’t look at me or anyone as he turned and threw open the back door. Not even bothering taking his clothes off, they shredded as he shifted and bounded into the forest. We all stared at the open door for a minute before anyone moved. Sam came over to me and helped me up.

“You okay? He threw you hard. The whole house shook.”

I sighed. “I’ll heal. Don’t worry about it.”

“Beta…what Alpha said…he…”

“He meant every word of it, Sam. Don’t worry about it though. I’m fine. If I let him get to me, it would have it been years ago.” Giving him a small smile, I looked over at the island. “Sorry Mer, for the mess.”

She chuckled. “Honestly, you boys have made me clean up worse than this over the years of fights you’ve had.”

“I’m going to head out a bit too. I’m taking the Jeep. Probably be in town for the day.”

Sam nodded. “Remember that the plans need to be finalized by Tuesday.”

Patting him on the shoulder, I smiled. “Don’t worry. I’m almost done. I’ll probably finish it up tomorrow. Maybe another day for checking all the furniture is within budget as well.”

I went up stairs to change into some jeans and a more presentable shirt before heading out of the pack house. Silas had said that I shouldn’t leave the territory but it wasn’t a direct order. Also after the shit he pulled, going for a drink seemed like an excellent reason to leave the territory.