Book 1: Chapter 55

*** Solaris POV ***



After the lashes, everything started to get worse. I did my best to hide the more major issues I was running into but it was getting harder to do everything normally. The biggest change they knew was that I was sleeping more. They stopped disturbing me and let me sleep in later. Noah had taken oven most of the paperwork now, and I just enjoyed working behind the bar with them.

My eyes fluttered open as I heard wrenching coming from the bathroom. Throwing the blanket off me, I got up, wobbling a little but I opened up the bathroom door. Finn was on his knees, bent over the toilet. His eyes met mine but quickly he turned back, throwing up into the toilet.

Grabbing a washcloth, I ran it under cold water and rung it out before I placed it on Finns forehead. Gently rubbing his back, I waited until he finally settled back a little. Reaching forward, I flushed the toilet and rinsed the cloth under cold water again. Pulling him back, I let his back rest against the cool tub and I placed the cloth on the back of his neck.

“How is it that you know exactly where to put that to make me feel better?”

I chuckled. “It’s a girl thing.”

Rubbing his back, Finn closed his eyes and raised his head up. Suddenly, I watched as tears slipped down his the side of his face. Taking my finger, I brushed them away.

“It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. We weren’t planning on anything till much later.”

Kissing his cheek, I smiled. “Sometimes the best things aren’t planned.”

His head turned to look at me. “How do I do this without you, Sol?”

My heart skipped a beat but I did my best to keep a smile. “You have me for as long as I can hold out. I’ll do my very best to help in any way I can, you know that.”

He started to shake his head. “I can’t…I can’t do this without you Solaris. I’m scared.”

Gathering Finn in my arms, I kissed the side of his head and held him close. “It’s okay to be scared, Finn. It’s normal. This is going to be completely new. That’s scary but you aren’t alone. Not as long as I’m here and you have Noah too. Finn, he is going to be ecstatic. You two deserve this happiness.”

He sobbed into my shoulder, wrapping his arms tight around me. I rubbed his back in circles on the lower part of his back until he stopped crying. His body was still shaking but I had a feeling that it was a mix between the morning sickness and the emotional overload.

“I know you probably don’t feel like eating, but you should. Does anything sound good? Like you could stomach it?”

Finn took a moment before smiling. “Pancakes?”

I chuckled and nodded. “Pancakes it is then.”

“Sol?”

I hummed.

“Don’t tell Noah, not yet.”

My heart sunk. “Finn, you can’t keep this from him. I mean eventually you’re going to have to tell him.”

“I know. I just…he’s been trying really hard to keep his anger down. He just…”

I looked at Finn in the eyes. Since they were mates, I knew they could feel each others emotions and Finn had always been more aware of Noah’s outbursts. He was very emotional and wore his emotions on his sleeve. At times, it could blow up in his face but Finn was usually there to help.

“Finn, I don’t think it’s a good idea…”

“Please. I’ll tell him but I need some time. He needs some time. We…” He looked at me and ran his hands through his hair. “We know you’ve been hiding your deterioration from us. We know you just want to protect us but Noah isn’t taking it well, Sol. He’s getting angrier ever day. I’m worried about him.”

Sighing, I closed my eyes. “I’m sorry. I thought…it would be better. I should have talked to you two first.”

He nodded. “Please. We are in this together, Sol. We want to be here for you when you need us. To lean on us but if we don’t know, we can’t do that.”

I nodded and slowly got up off the bathroom floor. Holding my hand out, Finn took it and I helped him up off the floor. Taking a deep breath, a smile spread on his face.

“Now about those pancakes.”

Chuckling, I nodded and we headed out of the bathroom. Going into the kitchen, I pulled on an apron and looked at the time. It was one in the afternoon and a perfect time to make pancakes. I quickly whipped up a batch and Finn sat at the bar, scrolling through his phone. I had made four pancakes when Noah stepped into the room. He was drenched in sweat and looked like he had been exercising.

Looking over at us, he wrinkled his nose. “Pancakes? For lunch? Seriously?”

“Hey, I just woke up. It’s still breakfast for me.” I chuckled and winked at him.

Noah shook his head, not smiling back. “I’m taking a shower. I’ll grab something to eat when I go out.”

“Noah, wait…” I called to him before he went in the bathroom.

Finn froze and looked at me wide eyed but I took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what, Sol? Did you drop another glass?” His sarcasm I knew was his defense.

“For hiding my condition from you.”

Noah’s eyes widened and Finn also looked surprised but I looked down at the pancake cooking in the pan. “To be honest, I don’t want to hurt you more than I have to. I thought…if I made it look like everything was okay, you wouldn’t be reminded every time you saw me that I’m not doing well.”

Swallowing back my tears, I looked up at Noah. “I’m sorry. I’m afraid. I know I’ve accepted it but I’m afraid. Sometimes, pushing back the pain and hiding it makes it easier for me too. Helps me forget that I’m…” Squeezing my eyes shut, I heard the sizzle in the pan as one of my tears dropped into it. “I’m sorry.”

Noah’s arms wrapped around me and pulled me away from the pan. “Sol, we are here for you. You aren’t alone. No matter how hard or how difficult it is, we will take care of you. That’s what we do. We love you. Lean on us. Use us because that’s what we are here for. Every moment. It’s scary for all of us but you’ve been alone in this for far too long.”

I nodded as I wrapped my arms around him. He was sweaty and sticky but at this moment, it didn’t matter. Noah breathed heavy and kissed my bare shoulder.

“I’m sorry as well. Finn and I knew but you were hiding it so we didn’t want push it. It made me angry that you felt like you couldn’t trust us. Couldn’t rely on us to help you. I know my anger has been bothering Finn but I knew I’ve been short with you the past couple weeks as well. I’m sorry, Sol.”

“I understand. You had every right, Noah. I was wrong.”

He kissed my shoulder again and let me go. “No more, okay? Let us help?”

I nodded. “As long as you don’t give me shit for making pancakes for lunch.”

Noah laughed and nodded. “I still need a shower. I can’t believe you hugged me like this.”

“You smell manly. Just like we were rolling around last night.” I winked at him and he rolled his eyes.

“Fine. Pancakes for lunch. Ruin my entire fucking workout. But what the hell, why not.” Noah kissed Finn on the cheek and closed the bathroom door.

I eyed Finn, pointing my spatula at him. “You tell him soon, or you’re going to be on the receiving end of that anger, Finn.”

“I know, I know. Let me just get through this initial part and I’ll tell him.”

My eyes narrowed and I hissed, “Initial part? Finn, your jacked. You’re going to have a pup in anywhere between four to five months. You are going to start showing a lot sooner than someone with at little weight on them. You think you’re mate isn’t going to notice that?”

“You’d be surprised how oblivious Noah is.”

I growled. “Not the point Finn and you fucking know it.”

“I know, I know. I will, okay. I’ll take care of it.”

“You better.” I waved the spatula at him again before taking my pancake off the pan.

Placing the plate in front of him, I managed to make the rest of the batter before Noah was out of the shower. He sat down next to Finn and they ate together, chatting about different things.

“I need to make a phone call.”

Both of them whipped their heads up to me. “Who?”

“Silas. He asked me to call yesterday but I wasn’t feeling up to it.”

Noah nodded but Finn eyed me suspiciously. Heading down the stairs, I headed out of the bar and into the back forest. Pulling out my phone, I dialed Silas.

“Hello?”

I chuckled. “Hey Silas.”

“A…Solaris?” He sounded genuinely confused.

“You know you have caller ID on your phone, right?”

He growled. “I know that, I just don’t always look when I answer. What do you want?”

I sighed. “I need permission for Finn and I to go on your territory.”

“What? Why?”

“I need to take Finn to Doctor Shep, if you don’t mind.”

He was quiet for a second. “Why does…”

“Silas, don’t ask. I’m not going to tell you. It’s personal. I just don’t know of a closer doctor who would understand.”

Silas sighed. “When?”

“Whenever Shep can, really. The sooner the better.”

There was silence over the line and I paced around the forest. “Shep says he can see you today if you want to head over now. I told the boys I’m allowing you guys in the territory for a bit so they know.”

“Thanks Silas, I owe you one.”

“Have dinner with me.”

I coughed, choking as I inhaled. “What?”

“Have dinner with me. I want to talk…hang out.”

Chewing on my lip, I sighed. “When?”

“Thursday? I’ll pick you up.”

“Alright. I’ll see you then. Thanks again, Sil.”

He chuckled. “You’re welcome, A.”

The call hung up and I went back into the bar. Finn was leaning against the bar and Noah was pulling on his jacket. I furrowed my brow but then my eyes widened.

“Are you meeting with the Death Skull Company today?”

Noah nodded. “Yeah. I’ll be gone probably till this evening, so don’t bother with dinner. They want to do a full tour, tasting and then talk specifics of how much and which ones we want to carry.”

I nodded and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Thanks for going.”

He smiled. “Anything for you.” Pointing to Finn, he pointed back to me. “Take care of her, okay?”

Finn chuckled and nodded. I shook my head though and I watched out the door as Noah pulled out of the parking lot. Shutting the door, I looked at Finn.

“Get dressed now. We are leaving.”