Book 1: Chapter 41

*** Solaris POV ***



Finn whistled and I peaked my head out of the workout room. “Beta is here.”

My eyes narrowed and I grabbed my shirt I had discarded on some of the workout equipment. I also snagged a towel and wiped my face, hanging it around my shoulders before walking out into the bar. Sure enough, Nate was standing awkwardly in the entry to the bar. His hands were shoved in his pockets and his shoulders were hunched over. As I walked up, he looked up at me, dark circles under his eyes.

“I’m glad you’re up and about. Honestly, I expected you to be holed up for a few more days.” I smiled but he didn’t smile back.

“Aelia, I need to talk to you.”

I hummed. “Sure. You want to go into town? I’ve got a hankering for some food. We could go have dinner.”

Noah walked down the stairs. “Sol…”

“I’m fine today. Relax. I’ve had enough recovery time. Plus, I’m not gonna be out all night, Dad.”

Noah grumbled something about calling him ‘daddy’ but I ignored it. Turning back to Nate, I smiled.

“Is that okay? I know you probably would rather not be around these asshats.”

He nodded silently.

“Let me get something a little more appropriate on and we can head out. Figure out if you want to drive or we can take my bike.”

Heading up, Noah slapped my ass as I walked past him. I chuckled but it was drowned out by Nate growling. All three of us turned to him and I saw both Noah and Finn’s eyes narrow.

“Settle down boys. Let him be. There is a lot going on in his head right now.”

Nate seemed both surprised and ashamed of his growl and he stepped back further back towards the door. “I’ll…wait outside…”

Going up stairs, I jumped into the shower for a quick cold rinse off and scrub before throwing on a sports bra, an old band shirt, a jeans jacket that was covered in patches and some black jeans. I headed down and grabbed my side bag as I bounded down the stairs.

Finn was standing at the bottom, his arms crossed over his chest. “If anything happens, you call us. We will take care of it.”

Rolling my eyes, I kissed his cheek. “I’m fine. Nate just went feral, I told you. He’s got a lot going on right now. Give him some slack. It isn’t like he is going to hurt me.”

“You are ours, Sol. Ours. No matter what.” Noah was frowning as well.

I laughed. “You two are cute when you’re jealous. Remind me to make you jealous more often.” I winked at them but Noah reached out and took hold of my wrist.

“I mean it, Solaris. I know he’s your fated mate. But you are ours too. No matter what. We just…”

Sighing, I put my hands on Noah’s face and let my lips crash against his. My tongue dipped into Noah’s mouth for a few moments and our tongues intertwined. Breaking from him, I grinned at Finn.

“He’s my mate, boys. My fated mate but he’s also a brother and someone I grew up with. I will always have feelings for him and I will always love him till the day I die. But you seem to be forgetting why we moved here in the first place. I’m not going to be his mate. You two are my past, present, and future. I may not be your fated but I’m still intertwined with you two. I love both of you. I’m not going to abandon either of you.”

Noah sighed and nodded, backing up to allow me to go.

“I’ve got my phone. I’ll be okay.” Winking at them, I headed out.

Nate was standing by his Jeep. I strode over to him and he stood up straight. “We can take my car.”

I nodded. “That’s fine. There is this great Italian place in town. The guys won’t let me go to it. So now is the perfect chance.”

“Sure.”

He went around and jumped in the drivers seat while I got in the passenger side. There was no music on when he started it and made no move to turn some on. Nate was tapping his finger against the wheel and I leaned against my hand, elbow in the window sill. Again, he shifted in his seat. Rolling my eyes, I sighed.

“Honestly, relax Nate. It’s not like you’re the one who has to sit here and smell your mate in a confined space.” I chuckled, smirking as I looked out of the window.

“Aelia…”

I interrupted him. “The place is Sergio’s, if you know it. I’ve come to love it while I’ve been here.”

“I know where it is.”

The car lapsed into silence again. It took about ten minutes but we finally pulled into the restaurant. While I was partially joking, his scent was so strong in the car it was overwhelming. Usually in the bar it was a big enough space and enough different scents that it diluted it. Now though, I started breathing through my mouth the last five minutes. Opening up the door, I nearly stumbled out of the car, taking a deep breath of the outside air. Cracking my neck, I collected myself as Nate came around and we headed into the restaurant.

“Solaris! Mi amore! È bello vederti!”

“Lovely to see you too, Adriano. Do you mind if I get my usual table? We would like some privacy this evening.”

The restaurant owner and maitre d' was super friendly. One night, I had come in late and alone, he ended up sitting with me and we spoke of Italy. He had come over when he was in his teens and I had visited a few times just from my missions. Nate seemed to step a little closer to me when we spoke, glaring at him.

“Of course! Come come.”

Adriano lead us through the restaurant and to a small staircase. It was currently roped off but he unclipped the rope and I headed up, Nate following behind me. I chose a seat near the edge of the balcony, still able to see the windows and look out over the outside city. Nate sat across from me and Adriano placed our menus down on the table.

“Anything to start with, sunshine?”

Nate rumbled low and his hands were in fists.

“How about a bottle of the house wine, some garlic bread, and we will see what we want to order from there. Sound okay?” I looked over at Nate who just nodded.

“Alright! I’ll have Fiora come up when it’s ready.”

I smiled. “Thank you, Adriano.”

He nearly skipped off and I chuckled, watching him go.

“Sunshine? Really?”

My eyebrow rose. “You know Solaris in Latin means sun. Just like Aelia.”

His eyes widened and his eyes filled with tears.

“It’s okay, Nate. I don’t expect…”

“Take it off.”

Cocking my head to the side, I looked at him confused. “Take off…?”

“The crystal, Aelia. Take it off.”

My eyes widened and I started to play with the crystal around my neck. I’d taken it off for when he needed me but now I didn’t know if it would be good for him. If it would only make things worse.

“Please. Part of me still feels like what happened in the cells was a dream. Still feels like it’s not real. That you’re not real.” Nate still looked like on the verge of tears.

Sighing, I slowly pulled the crystal off from around my neck and put it in my jeans pocket. For a moment I saw Wren come forward, flickering for control but Nate managed to hold control. Reaching out, the tears fell as his fingers brushed the side of my cheek. My eyes closed as I felt the connection sputter to life, the shocks racing through us.

“Aelia…”

Moving my head back, I smiled as I watched Fiora walk up the stairs holding the wine and order of garlic bread. She smiled and paid extra attention to Nate, who didn’t even look up. He was just looking away, out the window.

“What can I get you two?”

“I’ll have the manicotti with eggplant. Nate, did you…”

He took a breath. “I’ll have the parmesan chicken.”

Fiora nodded. “If you need anything else, just holler.”

I smiled at her and as she walked away, I poured the wine into both of our glasses. Nate finally looked over to me. The tears gone, replaced from what looked like either anger or frustration.

“Why didn’t you come back? Why didn’t you come home? I’m your mate, Aelia. Why…?”

“Nate, I didn’t get ‘free’ until I was sixteen. Nearly eight years, I was in their hands. Not only was I in no condition when I was rescued but I wasn’t after either. Honestly, I’m not in any condition now but…”

He took the glass of wine and gulped it down. “But?”

“I’m close enough to the end that I need to be here. There are things that are in motion I need to make sure I help facilitate. I never really expected to reveal myself to you or Silas. It just…happened that way.”

“Aelia, I don’t understand. I don’t fucking understand.” Nate growled low.

Sipping my wine, I looked down at the table. “I know. It’s not going to make sense. Not until I’m gone.”

“And I’m sure Bellum agrees with this fucking ridiculous plan, of course.”

My eyes met Nate’s. “Bellum is gone, Nate. She was torn from me by a witch. When I twelve, they removed her from me. I’ve been wolf-less since.”

His eyes were wide and he opened his mouth but then shut it without saying anything. We lapsed into a silence and I took the opportunity to eat the garlic bread. It really was one of my favorite things to eat.

“What if we just mate and see…”

“No.”

Nate growled. “Aelia, you’re my mate. That’s what we do. We…”

“There is no ‘we’ Nate. We have been separated nearly 21 years. We can’t even be called friends, let alone mates. I’m not marking you and I’m not allowing you to mark me.”

“Why the hell not!”

I slammed my hand down on the table. “I’m dying, Nate. That’s a fact. It’s not changing. I don’t think I’m going to even make it to Christmas. You think I’m going to allow you to feel my death? Allow you to fall into the madness?”

“I…”

“You didn’t even feel my death and you fell into the madness yourself! You think I’m going to risk you dying? For what? What would the mate bond do, Nate? It changes nothing. Literally nothing. Silas needs you more than I need you. More than you need me.”

He glared at me. “I do need you! I need this hole in my heart to fill. I need my other half! I need you!”

“I’m not that person for you, Nate. There are bigger things in play here. Bigger plans the Goddess has for you. I’m only in the way. I’m selfishly here stopping the bond you are supposed to have. I need you to be patient. That hole, it will be filled, I promise. It’s just not meant to be me. It was never supposed to be me.”