Book 1: Chapter 54

Her head tilted to the side for a moment. “I’m not sure. Bruising is a bigger deal than just bleeding but I’m not sure how bad the repercussions of this will be. Worth it though.” She looked at me, a smile playing on her lips. “Worth it if it means you come out of this ordeal alive.”

Shaking my head, I sighed. “You say that like my life means more than yours.”

Her chuckle reverberated through the quiet night of the forest. “It always has. Back then and now.”

“How? How can you just devalue your…”

“I’m not devaluing anything. Contrary to popular belief, I do actually enjoy living. I’d love to have been able to move forward; have the giant family we talked about. Be an aunt for Noah and Finn one day. Live outside this craziness I got swept up in.” She sighed. “I just don’t have the time or luxury to do so. Back then, I made the decision because I knew Silas needed you more. Now, I make the decision because those options were taken away from me.”

After a long pause between us, I broke the silence. “I’m sorry.”

Her footsteps stopped and she turned to me, eyes looking straight into my soul. “There is nothing you need to apologize for, Nate. None of this was your fault. If there is one thing you do trust, trust that.”

“And all this nonsense of me having a second mate? I don’t need to trust that?”

She smirked and turned, picking back up our slow walk. “You don’t need to trust me on that one. The proof will come. All I ask is you just try to find happiness moving forward after me. Any happiness you can grasp onto. Don’t force yourself to be unhappy. Enjoy the time you have. Live to the utmost. Love to the utmost. Then know, in the end, everything will work out how it’s supposed to.”

My mind took in her words as we walked. It was confusing and frustrating. After a while, I just let it go. Filed it in the back of my mind for later. We walked in the quiet but I noticed her grip on me was tightening, her footsteps slowing. I slowed mine to match but my eyes watched her more closely. After another five minutes of walking, she closed her eyes and stopped. I stopped with her, worried.

“A?”

She hummed. “I just…need a minute.”

“I can carry you. I may not be able to shift yet but I have my strength. Not that you weigh much.”

Chucking, she shook her head. “I’m okay. I need to…” Her words were cut off as she swayed.

Immediately, I pulled her to me and held her against me.

“Sorry…just…a second…” Aelia sounded more tired than I had ever heard.

My heart rushed, afraid that I could lose her here out in the middle of the forest. Pulling my hand away, I saw the blood completely soaking my arm. Without a second thought, I picked her up. Her head rested against my chest and I picked up my pace. I needed to get her home.

It took me another ten minutes but the forest gave way to the road and The Wayward Tap on the other side. The night at the bar was in full swing and the parking lot was fairly busy. Looking down, Aelia was breathing softly, almost like she was asleep but it was too pained for her to be asleep. My arms were becoming sticky and I worried walking in there that people might catch the blood. At the very least, any supernaturals would catch it. The back door I knew was locked with their thumbprint and I wasn’t about to let Aelia down out if my arms. Plus, where the stairwell to the upstairs was located, it didn’t matter. I’d still have to walk through the bar.

Their bouncer, Ryan, was at the door, per usual on the weekends. He saw me coming up and his eyes widened.

“Is she okay?” His voice was filled with genuine worry.

I bit my lip and shook my head. He opened the door for me and the loud noise from the bar bombarded me. It was so different from the quiet we had just experienced that my ears almost hurt. Walking in, Finn and Noah were behind the bar, serving drinks expertly. Finn’s eyes met mine in a practiced customer service attempt but before he could say hello, he saw Aelia in my arms. His eyes widened as he grabbed Noah by the arm, moving him out of the way. Racing around the bar, Finn met me at the staircase.

“What…what happened?”

Walking up the stairs, he followed behind closely. Even I could feel the worry radiating off of him.

“I wasn’t supposed to be there. I got called down for a rogue sighting by our patrols. Silas and Sam are occupied, I went to check it out.

“Sol doesn’t shift anymore.”

I nodded, shouldering the door at the tip of the stairs open. “It wasn’t her. But it was someone she was meeting. Her Gamma?”

Moving out of the way, Finn opened up the bathroom door and went in, turning on the shower.

“Keri? What was Keri doing…” Finn turned to me, his face drained of its color. “She didn’t. Not this soon.”

Sighing, I closed my eyes for a long while before meeting his. “I watched the whole thing. I…she was okay until we were walking back.”

“Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.”

Finn moved so that I was able to get in the shower. I looked down at Aelia in my arms and sighed. Stepping in, the both of us fully clothed, I set her down gently. Pealing away her shirt, I let the water indirectly hit her, running down her back. It was slowly clearing any of the dried and sticky blood off. Disappearing for a moment, Finn came back with what looked like a tub of mashed up kale. Noah stomped into the bathroom and his eyes took in the sight in front of him.

“What the fuck is going on?”

I looked up and his eyes were flashing between his normal brown and a deep black. Finn had his hand on his chest, stopping him from moving forward into the room. Noah continued to growl, as I returned back to my work of cleaning her off. Slowly, I started to unbutton her pants and Noah growled louder this time.

“She is ours, Beta.”

My eyes locked with his. “I understand that but I’m going to help. This is because of me. My fault. I’m going to help. As much as she is yours, she’s also mine. You will need to take care of her when I have to go back. But for now…”

Turning back to Aelia, I stripped her slowly. Getting her wet with the warm water to wash any dirt or sweat that might make her uncomfortable later or that might slow the progress of her healing. She was lucky that her hair was short. She didn’t need to worry about it getting into any of the wounds.

“What…happened?”

Finn pushed Noah back out of the bathroom. “I’ll tell you just…”

“You knew? You fucking knew and you didn’t tell me?”

“I didn’t know when. She never said. I never thought she would take it this early.”

Their voices dulled to an angry murmur further in the room. Turning off the water, I got up with Aelia. She was more responsive now, but never opened her eyes. Her hands clutched my shoulders and instead of carrying her dead weight, she helped more in making adjustments. It was just slow and lethargic gestures.

Finn had set out a towel and I sat her on the soft rug on the floor, grabbing both the towel and the green mixture. After I dried most of her body, I leaned her front against me. The goop she had was sticky, slimy and gross. She also groaned when I started to place it over the lashes but halfway through Aelia relaxed against me.

It was hard or rather, I was hard. She was beautiful and this was the first time I had seen any more than shorts and a tank top. While they didn’t leave much to the imagination, it was enough to stop someone from thinking too much into it. The sparks that raced between us, the connection between us made it so much more difficult. At the same time, my instinct to take care of her and make sure she was alright rose over any want or need to mark her. Aelia was hurt because of me and I had to fix it; had to make it right.

“Here.” Finn crouched down next to me, handing me some boxers and sweatpants.

“I think I’ll need some help. I don’t want her to have to stand on her own. I know she’s semi-conscious but I know when I stood up that the muscles in my back contracting was the worst feeling.”

Finn nodded and came around. I finished up putting the green medicine on the final lashes down her back before standing up with her. He gently went down and pulled both articles of clothing up her leg. It was much harder to stamp down the growl at him touching her. It was probably a good thing I still didn’t have access to Wren and couldn’t shift. Getting my arm under her butt, I carried her back into the room with her head rested on my shoulder. The bed was already turned down on the left side and I walked around, placing her gently on the bed. Her back up to the air as the green medicine already was working, the blood stopping from coming out of the open skin.

“Will Noah be okay?” I turned, crossing my arms over my chest. “Will he be okay around her?”

At first, it looked like Finn was going to be angry but he just ended up rubbing his face. “He will be fine. Noah just wears his emotions on his sleeves and is much more expressive. He finds it hard to hold back. His anger is at its fullest but so is his love.” There was a moment of silence. “Thank you, for helping her. If you hadn’t been there, we might have had to send a search party out there.”

“I think Keri would have brought her back, but I was convenient. She didn’t want to insight the wrath of you two. Her words, not mine.”

Finn chuckled. “Sounds like Keri. Don’t worry. He has to get over it. It was her choice. Sol will always take action when she wants. We don’t get an explanation unless she deems it necessary. It frustrates us to no end but she is who she. She loves us completely…” He put a hand on my shoulder. “Loves you completely.”

Shaking my head, I looked back at Aelia. Her breath had evened out and I knew she had fallen asleep. My eyes roamed over her body. Outside of the green goop, her loss of limb and other scars on her upper body were on full display. My heart felt the pain again for what she had been through already. The fact that she had stood nonchalantly after getting whipped. Not uttering a word or even falling. Swallowing hard, I stamped it all the feelings down.

“I need to head back. The boys are probably worried. Mind link has been on the fritz lately, not quite coming in all the time. Plus, with Silas out…Sam in town, I’m the only one of leadership supposed to be in the territory.”

Finn chuckled. “Being Beta of an actual territorial pack must suck.”

“I mean, you’re Beta to what? How does your job even work?”

“I’m Beta to the First Alpha Prince’s army. So, we handle the military side of it. To go a step further, most rogues consider her the Rogue King. You could say we hold authority over all rogues. Which is more wolves than you even know. We aren’t limited by territory. If anything, our territory is the entire world outside of packs.”

My eyes widened. I hadn’t really thought of it like that. Hadn’t realized that not only their reach was that far, but that so was Aelia’s.

“Who appointed her as that? As much as I know the Alpha King sees her as a daughter, I doubt he would be happy that rogues acknowledge her as their King.”

“The rogues did. They outnumber packs. So while the legitimacy of the Alpha King is withheld in the packs and with Alphas, he doesn’t really hold much authority over the rogues. Not in the way I’m sure he or the council would like.” Finn shrugged.

I uncrossed my arms, eyes still lingering on Aelia. “What happens when she dies? Will the rogues choose a new king?”

“It depends. A lot of times, there is a big time gap between them. Rogues like us choose to follow those who deserve it. What Sol has done for us over the years, earned her the right to be king. Not any blood or initiation. That’s the difference. So sometimes, no one is acknowledged for years. I think before Sol, an Alpha who was willing to help rogues and actually protected them during a specifically hostile time in our history, had the title. Moving forward, I’m sure someone else will come forward.”

Finn’s voice sounded normal but his eyes showed the sadness, his face reflecting how unhappy he was at the prospect of it. I started to head for the door and Finn caught my arm.

“Nate, you can stay if you want. We can get a message to your pack. We’ve got a few members down in the bar who are somewhat sober.”

I shook my head. “I know she is in good hands. Just shoot me a message with updates on how she is doing, if you don’t mind.”

“Of course.”

Heading down the stairs, Noah was behind the bar. His face was tight and you could see how angry his movements were. Our eyes met and they narrowed but he didn’t say anything. Nodding to him, I started to head out of bar. Stopping, I grabbed Linus who was sitting at the bar. He looked hammered and yelped as I dragged him out of the bar by his collar.

“B…Beta. What are you doing here?”

“One, I’m getting your sorry ass back home. Two, I’m making sure you’re on time for your morning rounds. And three, I’m getting my ass back home without walking.”

He had his car in the parking lot which was idiotic if he was going to drink this much but it was in my favor.

“I needed…” He sighed. “My mate is pregnant, again. I don’t know how I’m going to survive. Seven, Beta. Seven pups. I’m going to lose my mind.”

Chuckling, I shook my head. “If you didn’t want anymore kids, just get a vasectomy. It’s not hard.”

“I don’t want to get a surgery. That’s for humans.”

I threw him in the passenger seat of his car after grabbing the keys from his pocket. My hand held the door open for a moment. “Then you’re going to continue to have pups if you don’t go in unprotected, dumbass. Some people can’t have pups. So maybe be a little more grateful that you can have such a big family.”

Slamming the door shut, I made my way around the car and got in. Linus was already passed out against the window and I sighed. Pulling out, I settled the frustration and anger in my heart. I wasn’t mad at him. It was at my own situation, at Silas’ situation, and at Aelia’s situation. All of us somehow ended up royally fucked. The Moon Goddess seemed to be enjoying our melodrama that was us never getting what we wanted.