Book 1: Chapter 75

“That doesn’t mean you should have water boarded him, Finn. What the hell?”

“I didn’t water board him. He drank almost an entire bottle of tequila on his own. I don’t know what he thought it was but he was drinking it like whiskey. He tried to congratulate me on my pregnancy, Sol.”

There was a huff and I heard a slap. “He drank that much because you decided to try and reject him before shift started. You know your bond takes rejection, no matter if it’s official or not, really seriously. He’s already suffering under his own feelings, don’t make it worse.”

I heard Finn scoff and I tried to sit up but my body felt too heavy and lethargic.

“You just are willing to forgive him? Just like that. He nearly killed you. Both making you use your power and actually trying to crush your throat. You just going to let him…”

“I’m not. He’s receiving his punishment until I see fit. As Alpha, I have the right to do that when there is insubordination under me. He is still suffering those consequences. You, as his mate, need to work this out with him.” There was a long pause. “I know he scared you but you can’t just keep punishing him by rejecting him for it. You need to get past it, let me handle what I need to as Alpha.”

Finn sighed and I was finally able to open my eyes. The light hurt and I realized I was on the floor of the bathroom. Sitting up, I regretting doing it so quickly and I grasped the side of my head. It took a second but I pushed the pain away.

“You should be in bed, Sol! What are you doing?”

She was sitting on the floor of the bathroom with me, my head had been in her lap. Her smile was genuine and I wanted to brush my thumb over her lips but I stopped myself.

“You fucked up. Do you not remember throwing up?”

I shook my head and looked up at Finn who was standing shirtless in the doorway. “What time is it?”

“It’s about three in the morning. You passed out after hitting your head pretty hard.” He answered.

Turning to Solaris, I tried to ask her a question and again the words felt like they got stuck in my throat. Holding my throat, I coughed and took gasping breaths. Finn’s brows furrowed but Solaris rubbed my back until I was able to take a full breath again.

“I...I can’t…”

“You can’t question me.”

Both my and Finn’s eyes widened. I remembered her holding my chin as she said that I should never question her. The order was so powerful that I couldn’t even ask her simple questions without feeling like I was going to choke on my words? My body sagged and I looked down at my hands.

“Serves you right for questioning her decision.”

She growled. “Finn, stop it. Would you like me to order you to knock it off? Cause I can.”

He frowned but didn’t say anything else. Solaris turned back to me and bushed her fingers across my cheek.

“Just for a little while. Until you can prove that you aren’t going to continue to question me in the future. This is the one warning I’m going to give you, Noah. You do it again, and your punishment will be far worse. Do you understand?”

I nodded. “I’m sorry. I deserve so much more.”

Solaris shook her head. “You don’t. You lost control. We all have our emotions a little closer to our sleeves than normal.” She looked poignantly up at Finn. “What we need to do is make sure we don’t lose each other in all this. Alright?”

Again, I nodded and took a deep breath. Solaris reached up and Finn grabbed her wrist, pulling her up gently to a standing position. She looked surprisingly strong for just having been on the brink of death. I wondered if the blood from Silas, because he still had his wolf, healed her more than her body normally could do.

“You two, need to go out for a smoke. I don’t want either of you to come back in till you would this out. Do you understand?”

“But…” Finn turned to her but she raised her eyebrow, silencing him completely.

Obviously, I couldn’t ask or question her so I just nodded. Getting up off the floor, I grabbed the box of cigarettes that Solaris was holding out along with the lighter. She had a soft smile on her and she nodded. Going down the stairs, I didn’t check if Finn was following me as I headed out the back door. I grabbed a blanket as I walked into the crisp morning air. Sitting up on the picnic table, I lite the first cigarette with the blanket draped over my legs. My feet were up on the bench as I took a few drags.

Finn closed the door with a slam and I saw he had pulled on a sweatshirt. I couldn’t help the small smile that came to my face as it stretched thin against his bump. He jammed his hands into the front pocket and sat down on the bench I had my feet on. Reaching over, I covered his shoulders in the blanket. He looked up at me and was about to growl before he realized I was just covering him.

“Thanks.” It came out more as a grumble than anything.

Blowing the last of the smoke I had out, I put out the cigarette. Clasping my hands together, I leaned forward and looked out over the forest.

“I really am sorry, Finn. It was never my intention to lose control. To put you or Solaris in danger. You have to know that.”

Finn pulled the blanket closer and he also stared out at the forest. “I know, Noah. I’m sorry. I was just so angry and so scared. It was like I was watching it in slow motion. Knowing I had zero power to stop it. Not like I normally would be able to at least fight back.”

I scooted closer to him and put my arm around him, resting my hand on his shoulder. He, in turn, laid his head against my thigh. My other hand came up and I scratched the top of his short hair. It had grown out a little but it was still nowhere near as long as mine as it barely reached his ears when soaking wet.

“What am I going to do, Noah? I can’t stay by her side. I can’t stay by your side.”

I hummed. “What do you mean?”

“Didn’t Silas tell you? He said there is going to be a big battle. It’s the reason why she’s pulled all of the guys here. The Hunters are attacking; in force. I don’t know the details obviously since she didn’t tell us but…if she’s thought enough ahead to pull everyone, where does that leave me?”

“By her side, silly goose. Solaris wouldn’t leave you out. It’s not like she can actually fight either. Hell, she’ll probably pull me back too. She would be too afraid that something might happen to me. I won’t be happy about it but Keri will probably be ecstatic that she gets to head the charge this time around.” I leaned down and kissed the top of Finn’s head. “Don’t worry about it, love. She’s our Alpha. She knows what’s best.”

He chuckled. “Even if you question her far too often?”

I laughed. “Yeah, apparently. It will get old real quick when I can’t ask her what she wants for lunch or dinner.”

Finn sat up and put his chin on my leg. “What if…what if she is planning on fighting?”

Scoffing, I shook my head. “She can barely stand for longer than a half hour. She’s not going to be able to handle it. She might say she will but it’s going to get close and her body isn’t strong enough for her to be able to that. Not without…” My words trailed off. That terror earlier of her using her power, of watching become the bad ass but knowing it would kill her, resurfaced.

“Noah?” Finn sat up completely and looked at me, worried.

I shook my head. “Nothing. Just a bad thought is all.”

If she was thinking about using her power, thinking that this was going to be her last stand. She would die on that battlefield. But not from the Hunters. It would be her own damn stubbornness. Solaris wouldn’t or couldn’t be that stupid. Thinking she wouldn’t be a liability on the battlefield. Suddenly, the earlier confidence started to wain.

“We should go up. I don’t want her to sleep alone.”

Taking his chin, I captured his lips with mine as the sparks exploded between us. “Are we okay though?”

“You are my mate, the love of my life, the father of my our child, and my best friend. Sometimes we might stumble but we will always be okay.” Finn smiled up at me and I kissed him again, this time dropping down into the bench and pulling him into my lap. He laughed and shook his head. “I’m too heavy, Noah.”

I shook my head, nipping his chin with my teeth. “You will never be too heavy. You are perfect. Carrying our pup is the most beautiful thing you can do and I look forward to every single change in your body. Maybe not that attitude but…”

We laughed and Finn smacked my arm. “Asshole.”

I hummed and leaned in. “You going to give me yours?”

“Not after that comment.”

We laughed again and Finn got up. Before heading inside he turned around and dropped the blanket low. Smirking, he smacked his ass before disappearing into the bar. Leaning back, I laughed and shook my head. Grabbing another cigarette, I lite one more and took a deep breath. He was right. No matter what, no matter how I or he may stumble, we were mates. He would always be my soul mate and I would always be his.

Looking up at the dark sky that just started to show the lightened streaks of the early morning, I put the cigarette to my lips. Solaris didn’t have that. She had us but what was really keeping her here. What was keeping her from stepping out on that battlefield with the rest of us and fighting till the very end?