Book 1: Chapter 73

Her command again left no room for disobedience. The hair quickly receded from my body and my stretched features of the lycan form dropped back to that of my normal size. Wye took the opportunity to get the hell out of the drivers seat and he disappeared into the recesses of my mind where he stayed most of the time. He was more coherent than Kon, Fynn’s wolf, was but we were still rogues. They were about as straight wolves as you could get, unable to speak or really think outside of their own instincts.

Fingers dug into my skin as Solaris grabbed my chin and pulled my head up to look at her much like she had done with Wye. Her eyes were bright and I felt tears start to fall.

“Let the power go, Sol. It will kill you, please. I’m back. I’m sorry. Please.” I begged her as I reached out and cupped her face. “Please love…let it go.”

Her lips turned down in a frown though. “You will apologize to you mate. You will apologize for your fucking behavior. After that, you will not ask me or question me again until I decide you can. Is that understood, Beta?”

“Yes, Alpha.” I bowed my head as far as her hand would allow me and dropped my eyes.

The wind died down and I felt like I could take a deep breath again, my chest was heaving as I inhaled the lost oxygen. Solaris’ hand slipped from my face and I quickly snapped my head up as she stepped back. She pointed to the door.

“Get out, Beta.”

“Solaris…please…”

Anger flashed in her eyes. “I said get the fuck out!” As her voice rose, I watched in horror as the last of her voice was garbled as blood poured from her mouth.

“Sol!” I fought against the command but it was too much.

Keeping my eyes on her, I backed out of the bar. When I opened the door, Finn was standing right on the other side. He grabbed my shoulder and spun me around, his fist poised to let loose on my face but I just sobbed.

“Help her, Finn. She’s dying….she’s fucking dying…”

His fist dropped and without a word to me, he ripped the door open. He disappeared as the door shut. I swallowed hard and sank to my knees in front of the door. My head in my hands, I sobbed as I waited. The command held me in place until she decided to let it go but luckily her command was fairly vague. I stayed on my knees as I waited outside the door. I couldn’t hear anything that was going on and I just slipped into a bit of a trance, staring at the door.

A hand clamped down on my shoulder and I jumped, looking up to see Silas standing next to me. With my curiously slated, I dropped my head and continued to stare at the crack between the door and the ground.

Silas stepped forward and I watched as both Nate and Shep, their pack doctor, stepped in. My fear and guilt crashed through me more as I knew this had to be bad. Usually, Solaris wouldn’t bother a doctor and we wouldn’t either. At least, it meant she was alive and didn’t die as I shut the door on her.

“Noah, what happened? I thought she was doing okay these past few days.”

I squeezed my eyes shut as I shook my head. “I…I got angry. She didn’t tell us…didn’t think we needed to know that she was moving the whole damn army in. I…lost control and she had to use her power to reign me back in. Silas…she…I…” My voice was hoarse as I had just cried for so long. I didn’t have anymore tears and I felt completely emotionally exhausted.

“Did she command you out here?”

I nodded but didn’t answer as it hurt to swallow. Silas squeezed my shoulder again and headed in.

“I’ll give you an update as soon as I get the chance.”

My eyes didn’t raise and I just stared at the same spot I had been. Trying to listen for something, anything, that told me my Alpha was okay. That I hadn’t killed her myself. There was nothing and the sun was starting to actually head down past the trees. Apparently, the notice had gone out that we would be closed tonight but I’m sure my form kneeling outside the door made others turn around and leave.

Silas stepped out just as the sun was dipping below the treeline. My eyes trailed up to his face but it didn’t give me any hope. If anything it made it worse. You could see tracks of tears down his cheeks and his eyes were bloodshot. His lips were pursed in a thin line as he fumbled with one of the clove cigarettes that Solaris would always stash away from Finn and I. Finally lighting it, he took a long drag and tapped the ashes into the tray we had out front.

“She’s alive.”

I swallowed hard, feeling the scratching as my Adams apple bobbed up and down.

“Barely.”

My hope fizzled into pure despair.

“She started the preparation for her army to come into town a couple days after the Alpha King visited. Aelia requested permission and received it from him for her to be able to protect my territory. The Hunters are choosing my pack to be an example to all. We have hundreds of Hunters coming in and I don’t have the force to deal with them. We would be wiped out if it wasn’t for her calling everyone in.”

I shook, trying to understand and comprehend his words past my own grief. “Why didn’t she tell us?”

Silas hummed and took another drag, the clove scent finally reaching my nose. “I’m not sure. I know she has been struggling with some things that the Alpha King told her. Some things I don’t quite understand myself but they seemed to have an understanding without saying much.” He stretched out his arm, opening and closing his fist.

“They took my blood to try and help replace what she lost. That’s the biggest issue right now. We don’t have a wealth of blood to be able to pump into her. Luckily, her and I are exactly the same.”

Leaning forward, I rested my forehead on the concrete. “I did this. This is my fault. If she dies…I might as well have been the one wielding the knife. Finn is never going to forgive me.”

Silas couched down and ruffled the top of my head. “She won’t die, not from this. She managed to stay coherent this entire time. She needs to be watched tonight just to make sure but if she makes it through tonight, Shep says she should be back up and running for a little while longer.”

“I almost killed her.”

Silas stood and put out the cigarette in the ash tray. “Emphasis on the almost. Let it go, Noah. I don’t think she will hold it against you. At least not for as long as you will feel bad for it. I’m sure she’ll do something stupid and you’ll get angry all over again. That’s just how my sister is.”

I glanced up at him. “You talk like you’ve know her longer than we have.”

A sadness washed over his face. “You’re right. But some things don’t change. Old habits die hard and all that.” He sighed. “You better head into town for the night. I don’t know if she is going to lift the command anytime soon. At least, grab a hotel room.”

I shook my head. “I’m not leaving her.”

He sighed. “I’m sending Nate and Shep home. I’ll be here with Finn. We’ll call you if anything changes.”

Silas opened the front door and I’ve never been so jealous of a simple action. I wanted to go in, check on her, apologize. I needed to mend what I broke. I stared at the front door until it opened and Nate walked out with Shep. Shep gave me a nod and Nate patted me on the back. My eyes didn’t leave the door as I heard their car pull out of the parking lot and drive back north.

The sun went down and I sat at the door, waiting for the command to drop but it never did. Closing my eyes, I finally stood up. My knees cracked unhappily and I brushed the painful rocks that had burrowed their way into my skin. Heading over to my Jeep, I pulled open the trunk and grabbed the blanket I stowed there. It was getting colder at night now that we were heading into winter but it wouldn’t be terrible. I got into the passenger seat of the Jeep and sat for a long time, staring at the light in the window.

Eventually, it turned off and I settled back into the seat. With the blanket covering me, I closed my eyes and fell into a fitful sleep, waking up every few minutes to check to see if the command dropped. I did though end up falling into a nightmare of not being able to uncurl my hands from her neck. Watching the life drain from her face just as I watched my sister die.