Book 1: Chapter 25

Sam found me first. He didn’t quite seem to know what to make of me, sitting in the very back of our underground dungeon. I don’t know how long I had been there but it was sure as hell at least for a day. There was no light, no windows and it smelled like death but it was a comfort. I knew this place. It was somewhere I was familiar with. My hands shook as I continuously replayed the conversation with Solaris in my head.

Eros had already backed off after I screamed at him multiple times. He told me he didn’t tell me just for this reason but he didn’t think that she would tell me. Not after we learned she was dying. Solaris was dying and supposedly she was my dead sister. No matter what, she would go from my dead sister to my dying sister and back to my dead sister. I cackled and shook my head, burying it between my knees.

Everything in my life felt wrong. My body was exhausted and vibrated at the same time. I felt manic and completely unhinged while I hyper focused on every detail of our conversation. At some point during our conversation, I noticed that under all her tattoos were scars. Scars of a pain that she hinted at. Scars that showed just how much shit she had been through. The pure pain in her face as she shifted.

“Silas?”

I looked up to see Nate, looking at me with eyes that I hated. “Leave Nate.”

“Alpha, you’ve been here for two days. It’s time to get out of your hole. Come on.” He came forward and hoisted me up.

Nate basically carried me up the stairs and into my room. He placed me into the shower with my sweats on and turned on the shower. I’ll admit, the scream that came out of my mouth as the cold water hit me was not manly but Nate didn’t turn the water warmer. He just grabbed the shower head and stared to spray me down.

“Fuck, Nate, stop. I get it. Let me take a damn shower.”

“Good. I’m going to be out here, sitting in your room and you are going to tell me what the hell is going on with you.” Nate slammed the door behind him and I reached out, turning the shower to a warmer temperature.

Leaning my forehead against the tile, I closed my eyes, feeling the water beat down on my back. It’s rhythmic beat started to beat at the manic and just left me exhausted. I pulled the soaking sweats off my body and I sighed.

*'You ready to face the truth yet?'* Eros’ voice filtered in my mind.

*'No.'*

He chuckled.* 'You know, if she’s right, we would have a lot to answer for. Which I don’t honestly know why you would doubt her.'*

*'Because she’s…she…'*

*'Your father might give you more answers than you think. He’s the one that declared her dead. Stopped looking for her and pulled the search party back. You would be able to ask him the truth.'*

I stared at the tile. *'What if she is right though…'*

*'Again, are you ready to face the truth?'*

I chuckled but it sounded crazy.* 'Again, no. Because if it is…if it was…'*

*'We abandoned her. We gave up on her. We mourned and hated the wrong people. For all these years.'*

My body shook and I slid down to my knees. Tears filled my eyes and I pulled my fist back. Letting loose all my power, I slammed my knuckles into the tile. It cracked and exploded around the sheer strength I put behind it. The door swung open and Nate cursed.

“What are you doing? Fucking…Silas, come on.”

I looked up at him and he took a step back. “When did you stop calling me Sil, Nate?”

His eyes widened but then turned into the kind eyes I had saw earlier. “The last time I called you Sil was when you yelled at me after the sham of a funeral your father put on for Aelia.”

I nodded but I couldn’t even conjure up the memory at this point.

“Are you done in the shower?”

“What do you think?”

He came forward and turned off the water. Squatting down, he grabbed my hand and inspected it. “It looked like you may have broken a few knuckles. I’ll ask Shep to come over to take a look at it.”

I just nodded. There was no pain. Just a ridiculous amount of blood pouring out from my hand. Nate put a wash cloth on it and lifted me up. He handed me a towel and I wrapped it around my waist. Taking hold of the towel myself, he finally left the bathroom and I followed. He stood awkwardly in my room. Rarely did I let anyone in my room, that included Nate. Sitting on the end of my bed, all I wanted to was lean back and fall asleep.

“Silas, what the hell is going on with you? I thought we had more time before you went feral on me.”

I chuckled. “If I went feral, you would know it.”

“From where I’m standing…”

“It looks like I’m having a mental and emotional breakdown?” I offered him with another chuckle.

He took a deep breath. “We have been best friends since I was six, Silas. Talk to me. What the hell is going on?”

“I need to talk to my father.”

His eyes narrowed and he looked at me suspiciously. I knew he already was not a huge fan of my father. After his complete breakdown, Nate was on the receiving end of a lot of his anger when we were kids. It wasn’t until one of the elders caught him beating the shit out of the two of us did they step in. Nate never trusted or liked my father. Nearly breaking out in a smile when he was exiled to his cabin in the far northwest part of the territory. He avoided it like the plague but then, so did I.

“Why?”

“I need answers for something I heard. I need…confirmation.”

Eros hummed in approval and I sighed.

“Silas, the man wouldn’t give you the truth…”

“He will under the Alpha command, Nate. I’m not asking you to go. I just telling you.”

He snorted. “Like hell I’m letting you go to that place alone. Are you shitting me? I’d take the whole damn patrol with us to keep him at bay.”

Taking a deep breath, I narrowed my eyes. “We will go tomorrow then. I honestly don’t have the strength right now for it.”

“Want me to have Mer make some food?”

I shook my head. “I’m just going to sleep for a bit. I need…to reset, I think. I don’t know how much it’s going to help but I’m going to try.”

He nodded. “Do you need me…” Nate ran his hands through his hair. “I can stay if you want.”

At first, I chuckled but then I leaned back my head on the pillow, throwing a single blanket over me. “Would you?”

Nate chuckled and launched himself on to my bed. “Honestly, how come you get the giant ass bed? I want one.”

“I don’t even know if it would fit in your room.”

He scoffed. “The disparity between the classes, Silas. I’m going to go on strike.”

I snorted. “Please. You have three arcade machines in there.”

“They are vintage and I fixed them up myself! You wouldn’t know how to fix a leaky sink, let alone a fifty thousand dollar pieces of equipment.”

I shook my head and rolled my eyes. “Yeah well, I have enough money to pay people to do that.”

Nate heaved a sigh and shook his head. “Your Luna is going to be very disappointed.”

Rolling my eyes, I flopped over in bed, my back turned to him. “I’d have to actually get a Luna, Nate.”

“Don’t give up hope yet, Silas. Someone you need is going to show up by your side and suddenly all your worrying and sarcasm are going out the window.”

“What about you?” I looked over at him.

He shrugged and closed his eyes, tucking his hand under the pillow. I smiled softly. Nate had always been there for me. Over the years we had our yelling matches, we stabbed each other in the heart and refused to apologize. But never once did we leave each other. For a long time, Nate was all I had keeping me from going feral. I had a feeling it was the same for him. Swallowing my emotions, I turned my back to him and closed my eyes, letting sleep finally take me.