Wondering

*Chapter 36*
"I have heard that you are finally accepting the tea party invitation."
I glanced up and ate the piece of meat I sliced when Reginald spoke. I scoffed and chewed my food before I talked back. "Of course. Who am I to decline such a tea party from a fellow viscountess?"
Reginald squinted his eyes. "Usually, you are the one giving me the invitation. How come you change your mind to socialize with our fellow nobles, Novalie?"
I tsked, rolling my eyes. "Do you know the words, change of heart, Regy? I bet you don't." I shrugged my shoulders.
He scoffed. "Hard to believe." He shook his head.
"Well, if you do not believe me that I have changed my heart, then don't." I looked at him with a smirk. "After all, I cannot entrust you in socializing with my fellow nobles. You suck at socializing."
Reginald drank the wine, glaring at me. "At least, I am not allowing myself to be touched and kissed by a lowlife form," he said meaningfully as he glanced at Frederick who was quietly eating beside me.
I twitched my lips to the corner. "Well, this lowlife form you are indicating about knows how to make me wet in bed, unlike my husband who always took me dry and couldn't even make me cum no matter how hard he tried." I sliced a piece of meat before I offered it to Frederick. "Say 'ah', darling," I urged.
Frederick looked up and looked pleased as he nodded. "Yes, my goddess." He opened his mouth and took a bite from it.
Then I arrogantly glanced at Reginald seeing his face darkened. "Well, Reginald. Can you even do what my darling can do? I bet you don't again." I laughed wholeheartedly. "I am going to gossip you again with the fellow noble ladies."
He just shook his head and continued eating his meal. And I knew better that he was extremely annoyed and furious at my defaming words.
"Reginald," I called. He didn't dare to look at me. Instead, he kept eating, ignoring me. "If you are too exhausted to see and hear anything from me, I am proposing a divorce with you. Obviously, our marriage never worked out after all these three years, don't you think?"
I placed my elbow on the table while holding the steak knife in my hand. I rested my chin at the back of my hand, looking intently at this bastard.
"Why are you not deciding to file a divorce petition to the court?" I asked solemnly, not masking any mischievous tone. "You have the evidence of what it means to file a divorce yet you are not doing anything to accomplish it. Are you worried about the alimony payment? If you are, then I would like to let you know that I don't—"
"No matter what you say, Novalie. I am not going to divorce our marriage." He glanced up at me. "We will have to endure each other until the day we die. Didn't we promise until death do us part?" He smirked.
I clenched my other free hand and was about to slam the table when Frederick was the one who did it. "Darling." I immediately halted him when he was about to stand up and tackle Reginald down.
"But..." Frederick paused when I shook my head.
I didn't want him to brawl with Reginald. It wasn't worth it because I knew that Frederick would easily kill him in an instant if he wanted to. Knowing him, he knew what happened to me when I had bruises after I spent my night with Reginald.
Frederick and his wolf were already fuming mad that he wanted to kill Reginald in an instant.
I gestured my head to have him return to his seat which he obliged. But his eyes darted at Reginald who was smiling from ear to ear.
"It is my first time seeing one of your slaves who wants to stand up to protect their slutty master." He cocked his head from side to side as he chuckled with a mix of degrading expressions when he glanced at me. "That is new, Novalie. Also, that slave of yours is quite clingy, don't you think? As far as I know from you, you are not fond of a slave who has that kind of trait. Hence, what happened and I have been noticing you are breaking your own rules?"
I smiled sweetly at his words. "Quite a keen observer you are, aren't we?" I tapped my foot to the floor. "That is what you called a change of heart, dear husband. Also, he costs a hundred million. It is why I am prepared to break my own rules." I shrugged, treating this as a trivial matter. "Frederick is my very special slave. He is the only slave who became my knight at the same time." I leaned in my seat. "Also, for telling me until death does us part, I would love it if you will be the one who will die first before me. That is such a lovely suggestion from your beloved wife, don't you think?" I sweetened my voice while I was looking at him with my glacial glare.
Scoffing, Reginald wiped his mouth with the cloth napkin. "Unfortunately, I am not that easy to die, Novalie," he said as he stood up. "If you wish to take concubines or consorts with you, I do not mind. As long as you won't brag about it outside because that would ruin the reputation of our house."
"Is your decision final not divorcing our marriage, Reginald? If you happen to meet your fated mate, what should you do then? Shouldn't you at least make a choice now?" I asked as he stopped walking.
I grinned because I knew that topic was quite sensitive for him. I already knew beforehand that he had been longing to have a mate which was why I had been instigating him to find his mate already.
"It's futile to convince divorcing the marriage, Novalie," he said finally after a moment of silence. "You cannot—"
"You are not answering my question properly, Reginald. I am asking you what you would do if you found our mate while we were married to each other," I said coldly. "Perhaps, are you planning to make her a concubine? That would hurt her feelings, Reginald."
I bit my lower lip, trying to hold back my smile when his hands clenched while his back was facing towards my direction.
"Whatever you and my father had an agreement with, it wouldn't change the fact that once you find your mate, you will be able to hurt her because you are married to me who wasn't even your mate after all. You'd rather choose the agreement than your fated mate, Reginald? How cold you must be, dear husband?"
I concealed my tone with melodramatic humor, inflicting a conscience at Reginald. It was testing the water to see if he would bite that off or not.
"I am not in the proper mood to discourse with someone like you. Go to hell!" He growled before he went outside of the manor.
"Well... Isn't this place already hell?" I said loudly.
"Bitch..." My sensitive hearing caught that word from him causing my upper lip to lift up in amusement.
I glanced at Frederick and urged him to eat more. "Eat, darling. There's plenty of food here. Eat up," I said when he was looking at me intently.
"Yes, my goddess," he answered and smiled.
As soon as we finished our dinner, Frederick and I had some tea in my chamber. My eyes focused on the snow outside until now, it became a hindrance to the roadway. Even my peonies had already died because of the winter season.
I would tidy them up once winter was over.
I was quietly sipping my tea when I glanced at Frederick who until now, couldn't withdraw his eyes from looking at me. "What is it this time?" I placed the teacup to the saucer as I tilted my head a little, arching my eyebrow. "What are you thinking?"
Frederick lowered his eyes to the teacup he had on his hand. "Nothing, my goddess."
"I don't buy that for no reason. Spill it," I said coldly. "Before I will get impatient and make you sleep here on my balcony," I threatened him.
He gasped and looked at me in disbelief before he blinked. "Um... I am wondering what could have been the agreement of that man and your father which is why he cannot press on divorcing your marriage with him." There was annoyance in his tone.
"I haven't told you the reason for it?" I questioned. Frederick shook his head. "Ah..." I paused, playing my hands as I sighed. I gazed at him, seeing him waiting for my answer. "Since you are my accomplice for this, I might as well tell you why."
Or should I not tell and let him wonder?
I scoffed in my mind. I already uttered the words that I would tell Frederick the real reason.
Sighing, I leaned in my seat as I glued my eyes to the outside again. "I found the last and will testament of my father in Reginald's desk the last time he was out for four days in Lingen," I said in a solemn tone. "The reason why Reginald doesn't want to divorce our marriage is that Father will make me inherit his marquis title." Then I returned my gaze back to Frederick. "I will be the Marchioness in my own right. I will soon be the Marchioness of Timestone."
"Does it mean that he is after that noble rank? Is that the reason why?"
I nodded. I sipped on my tea before looking at my reflection there. "You know that a marquis title is a higher noble rank than the viscount, right?" He nodded when I glanced at him. "That means it shall be the rise of him as well. He will benefit from my title in my own right."
"My goddess." I looked at him when he spoke after a moment of silence. "Is it odd that your father who is a Marquis of Timestone would create a last and will testament? You can only make one if that person is going to be a deceased one soon. Your father could have settled a will inheritance and passed down the title without creating a last and will testament."
I smiled bitterly at his words. "Perhaps, he is going to kill himself in order to be with my mother." I shrugged.
"Y-Your mother is already deceased?"
"Uh..." How must I explain this to Frederick? "I guess, you can say that..." His forehead knitted in bewilderment. "Just... let's say my mother is still alive but she can be mistakenly dead?" I said, unsure.
"I... I don't understand, my goddess..."
"It is hard to explain." I shrugged. "Anyway, it seems Father is going to kill himself soon. Who knows... That is why I need to do the drastic measures I have because it is only him who promised to Reginald that he will become a Marquis of Timestone once I inherit Father's noble title. Also..." I paused. "It is one of the reasons why Reginald does not dare to hurt me. It is not because Reginald and I had an agreement. He is trying not to cause anything to hurt me because once he does that, Father will revoke his decision of passing the title to me and will pass the divorce petition in the court."
"It seems... complicated." He looked at me, concerned.
"Indeed." I agreed with him. That was what I read in the testament Father created. I found it absurd though. "Father..." I gripped the handle of the cup. "I hate him... He said before that he loves me yet he is neglecting me..." I smiled bitterly as I returned the teacup to the saucer again. "I was even betrothed twice to different men because he told me that I am bound to experience marriages. That is my sole purpose in this mundane world."
Sole purpose... That was my only sole purpose of being born here in this world...
It is to experience marriages with different men. It was horrible.
"It sucks to be a noble..." I laughed bitterly. "I could have wished I wasn't born..." so I do not have to experience this kind of living, I wanted to add.
"Don't say that!" I gasped when in an instant, I was being pulled to stand up and embraced by Frederick. "Don't you ever wish for that!" He raised his voice as his voice croaked. "Novalie... I am already here. I am not going to leave you *again.*.. Please do not wish that. If you weren't born, who shall be my mate?!"
My wolf reacted to his words as I felt my heart leap out from my ribcage for some reason. I need to calm myself not to hug him back because there is no way I am going to give in to this kind of feelings I have for Frederick.
Sighing, I tapped his back. "You always act hastily without my permission. That is enough," I said softly.
I couldn't afford to make my tone as firm as possible. It was somehow... hard and difficult.
Frederick distanced himself and cupped my face, looking at me tenderly and with so much longing. It bewildered me.
Why did he look at me as if he had been longing to have me in his arms?
Was this a part of having a mate? The tendency of longing for their mate?
"My goddess, you can also make me your concubine," he said softly.
"What?" I looked at him in disbelief as I removed his hands from holding my face. "You wish to be my concubine?" I arched my eyebrow. He nodded. I chuckled. "That is absurd. You are already my concubine." I rolled my eyes. "All of the slaves I have are in lower social rank and their purpose is to satisfy my sexual desires. That includes you, Frederick." I caressed his chest. "It seems you do not know the real meaning of concubine, darling. You are already one."
He looked surprised and embarrassed. "I... I am not aware of the real meaning of it. My apologies for being dull-witted and ignorant, my goddess."
"Forgiven." I chuckled as I tapped his nose. "But I need more slaves in my cabin since I will dispatch more this time around," I said and glanced at Frederick to watch his reaction.
He smiled bitterly and bowed his head. "If... If that is your wish, my goddess."
This time, he didn't hide that he was in pain with my words as he looked at me and showed his heart-rending expression.
I smiled, satisfied at his distressing look. "Good," I uttered, ignoring my heart reacting excruciatingly.