By Surprise

*Chapter 59*

"This extensive mansion looked grandiose but it looked spiritless," Frederick stated as we were sauntering the hallways and checking every room where were neatly cleaned by the servants here.

"I had an enjoyable childhood here." I shrugged. I glanced at Frederick when I caught him staring at me. "What?" I arched my eyebrow.

"Your eyes looked... crestfallen."

That surprised me. But I just chuckled. "You are really a keen observer. I do not know if I must hate it or not." No matter how well I hid my emotions, Frederick was able to decipher what I was feeling.

It was kind of annoying but there was nothing for me to halt him from having some sharp eyes. It was like no matter what I did, whether it was a small movement or not, he would always watch me and pay attention to me. It was why he was able to assist me because he was observing me.

"My eyes are already set on you, my goddess. There is nothing for you to escape from me," he said and leaned forward to intimidate me.

Arching my eyebrow, I pushed him away by pushing his forehead. "Do not even dare that you can ever intimidate me, darling. You know that you cannot even match me." That earned him a smile.

"I shall never win against my goddess at all," he stated, not asked. "I do not even deserve to be touched by my goddess."

I rolled my eyes with his flowery words that started to make my wolf feel giddy. It was something that I needed to learn how to calm my heart because it always hammered inside me every time Frederick would do or say something unexpected.

I brought him to the main library. "This was where I spent my time here studying from etiquettes, reciting poetry, playing instruments, and learning embroidery and flower arrangements," I introduced to show him that this was where I started to learn that as a noble lady, it was my responsibility to act like a noble.

It was also training on how to run a household once I became a wife and married to a noble family.

I showed him the usual spot where I studied. It was always near the window. Staying near the window always helped me to contemplate and refresh my mind when I was at the peak of my distress.

I watched Frederick as he caressed the back of the chair where I usually sat like he was admiring it. His eyes were shining. It was as if he could see my younger self studying there. While he was busy admiring it, I looked outside the window when a vague memory appeared in my mind.

I blinked, tilting my head a little. I approached the chair and sat there so I could glance outside. "I remember a boy before who was always staying at that spot," I said when I pointed to the tree branch.

"A boy?" I heard a grimace tone from Frederick.

I nodded. "He was always in that tree branch," I uttered. Now that I remember, I am certain that he was not from the Wall Burgundy pack. I think he was just visiting our pack before.

"What on earth was he doing there? At what age you were at that time, my goddess?"

"Hmm... Not sure... Seven? Eight?" I shrugged. Then I placed my elbow at the table and rested my chin on my palm. "I remembered I had a crush on him. He was always there to see me." I couldn't help the smile creeping out on my lips.

I heard Frederick's scoff. "How sure are you that he was looking at you, my goddess?"

I furrowed my eyebrows and glanced at Frederick whose face was already darkened. He was glaring deadly at the tree branch as if he knew that boy and wanted to strangle it. It was as if he could see that boy from the past.

Ignoring it, I grinned. "Because I remembered that I waved my hand at him and he waved back..." I chuckled and sighed dreamily. Then I remembered something. "Stay here. I will get something."

Hesitant, Frederick nodded. That was his only response but his eyes were glued outside of the window.

"Alu... You bastard..." I heard him murmuring but I ignored it as I went to the second floor of the library where I looked for that book.

I was hoping that I could see it here. There was no way that they would move it, I guess. However, I saw some unfamiliar books here. Perhaps, Father started to purchase more to add it here.

Most of the books he was purchasing were military strategies and political management. It also included a few books of folktales.

Out of the thousand books we had here in the library, I have read three-fourths of them. I read them when I finished the lessons or after my sword training. I even had the training to strengthen my wolf form as soon as I managed to transform to my wolf form when I reached the coming-of-age.

But I mostly devoted my time to sword training because I was a prodigy when it came to that part.

I went to the last section of the bookshelves and sighed in relief when I saw the book I was looking for. It was a relief since Father didn't remove it and most of the arrangements of the books were still placed in the same area so it wasn't hard to look for it.

"I'm going to kill you, Alu... I swear..."

I heard Frederick's murdering words as soon as I went downstairs. "What are you even muttering there, darling?" I drew out a smirk, approaching him.

He jumped from his feet and turned at me. "N-Nothing, my goddess," he said nervously. He smiled wryly before his eyes landed on the item I was holding. His eyes widened a little. "That..."

I lowered my eyes to the book and waved at him, grinning. "This was the boy's parting gift. I didn't get a chance to ask his name but he bestowed this on me... Um... I think his precious item, perhaps?" I asked, unsure.

I bestowed him the book. Frederick immediately flipped the pages and gasped upon seeing that the pages were full of... sketches of me.

"This is m—" He glanced at me, wide-eyed.

"That boy looked like a stalker, right?" I wriggled my eyebrows. "To think that he could sketch me from different angles no matter where I was going is bizarre. But I got inspiration from him when I dared to start painting when I was ten."

I almost gasped when I remembered that I saw my first paintings back in my chamber. I haven't shown them to Frederick yet. Perhaps, I should bring him there later since there was a high chance that Father would dare to interrupt us again.

"Darling—" My words were cut off when Frederick suddenly hugged me.

"Oh, my goddess... You really made me happy today!" he exclaimed.

"Huh?" What does he mean? I blinked, couldn't move.

I was only left staring at nowhere as I heard my heart hammering inside my chest.

Frederick broke his hug and cupped my face. I saw his eyes glistening with tears before he suddenly made me unable to move on my ground.

His lips were locking into mine!

What on earth?!

I hadn't gotten the gist of what he was indicating and now... This? He caught me off guard by kissing me? I didn't even know what I must do and why he was saying that he was happy a while ago. For what reason?

But aside from that, his soft, plump lips were inviting me to respond to his invitation. He should be punished for suddenly moving on his own accord but I couldn't stop myself from responding and closing my eyes.

I didn't even know if this was the will of my wolf or mine.

It didn't matter anyway. Having Frederick's lips on mine already made me feel heady. I even felt like I was on cloud nine.

So good... His lips were so good...

His lips were useful not on my lips as well. But on every part of my body, especially whenever he was pleasuring my wet cunt with his expert mouth and tongue.

I moaned inside of his mouth as our bodies tangled to each other. His torrid kiss was so alluring. I could even allow myself to drown in an abyss.

I was expecting that he would dare to undress me but his hands were only roaming around my body. They were like memorizing every inch of me.

Also, the way Frederick was holding me like he never wanted to let me go again. It was like if he ever unhandled me, it would make him anxious and panic.

His touch and kiss were indicating that he was mine already and I was his.

Only then, I got disappointed when his lips parted from mine. But I felt his thumb brushing my lower lip as I looked at him, feeling heady from his torrid kiss.

Then I felt his lips going to my earlobe to nibble it. I reached for the bulk of his trousers which earned him a groan and forwarded his front to my hand.

"My goddess, I want to take you here but I am not going to disrespect your father's library..." he whispered huskily. "I want to show my gratitude and make you scream when you reach your orgasm... I really want you, my goddess. I cannot hold myself anymore."

My breath got heavy as I felt my clit throbbed in need because of his words. Judging by how hard he was, I could tell that Frederick really wanted me so bad.

I wanted him, too. I wanted to command him to please me with his mouth again.

Or I could command him that he could shove his cock inside me just like before.

But I highly doubt that Frederick would shove it immediately. No matter if I commanded him, he wouldn't dare to do it.

Frederick wanted me to be well stimulated before he could pound inside me so I could be at the peak of my ecstasy in a matter of seconds. That was how considerate Frederick was.

It was the reason why he was my favorite slave of all time, not because he was my mate. He really knew how to please me.

"That's..." I moaned softly in his ear which made him growl lowly. "That's a nice idea, darling. But I suggest that we must separate now before Father would come here," I said in my sultry pitch before I coerced myself to distance myself from him.

His wet lips were visible as he bestowed me the sketch book. "T-This is for you, my goddess."

I chuckled as I waited for my libido to calm down. I even caressed his hair after I took the sketch book from him. "Let's leave. I haven't shown you the paintings you wished to see."

His face brightened up before he nodded. "I-I would love to see it, my goddess!" he exclaimed.

I nodded. Just as we stormed out of the library, a servant approached me and greeted me.

"Beta Nigelle said that if you are done strolling around, Lady Novalie, he would like to have some tea with you at the gazebo."

"Very well." I glanced at Frederick and he nodded meaningfully. I returned my gaze to the servant. "Tell Father that I won't be that long. I shall meet him there later."

"As you wish, Lady Novalie." She curtsied before she left us.

Frederick and I were enveloped with silence as we sauntered to my chamber again. The silence wasn't an awkward one but a peaceful one. The only thing we could hear was the sound of our heels clicking the marble floor.

I glanced at the sketch book, wondering why on earth have I brought this with me. It wasn't supposed to be my intention to bring it but there was an urge dotting in me that I must keep this with me for some reason.

When we were near my chamber, Frederick was the one who opened the door before I could reach it. I ignored his gesture because it was a trivial thing. He was my knight so it was his duty to open the door for me without ordering him.

"These are the paintings I said to you last time," I said when we entered the walk-in closet where I placed them.

Frederick's eyes widened in awe. "So cute..." he said as his smile grew wider.

He sauntered his way to my abstract paintings. One of them was a scribble painting I used to do. I explained to Frederick how I came up with that idea.

"It was because I did not know what to paint at that time." That was the reason.

Frederick pursed his lips into a thin line as if he was suppressing his laughter. I only shrugged because I also knew that would be my reaction as well. No doubt.

"Your paintings improved as years passed by, my goddess." I heard him sigh in relief.

"Indeed." I agreed, grinning. I checked the wall clock and glanced at Frederick. "Let's head now to the gazebo. Father needs my presence there."

Frederick nodded and offered his arm. "Yes, my goddess."

I accepted his arm and clung to it. Sighing, I leaned to it as we left the chamber.

Dear me... Why did it feel so good to have my hands wrapped around his arm? His strong yet firm arms could easily tackle me down if he wanted to but failed so many times. Still, his arms always made me feel secure and that I could rely on Frederick.

This wasn't good. This feeling... This kind of vulnerability...

Was I really allowing myself to succumb to these emotions? Would I let myself be put in the abyss again?

I glanced at Frederick whose eyes were transfixed to his front.

"Tell me, Frederick," I paused to earn his attention.

"Yes, my goddess?"

"Are you the type of a person that would betray me in the end?"

His eyes widened before he immediately shook his head. "No, my goddess. I am not that kind of a person."

"Even if I reject our mate bond, you will never betray me?"

That made him stop walking. His facial expression was unreadable. But I sure as hell that he was clenching his teeth right now.

"Why... would you resort to that?" He furrowed his eyebrows.

I didn't answer him. His eyes were filled with doubts and horrified when he didn't get an answer from me.

I would like to know his reaction to this. I would like to know if Frederick could be really trusted. One wrong answer from him would make me shut him out of my life.

Regardless if we built an undeniable bond with one another.

He faced me and distanced himself a little. "Is it because... I am a slave? It is why you cannot accept our mate bond?"

I didn't answer.

"Have I done something wrong for you to resort to that idea?"

No answer.

"Can I not be trusted? Do you doubt my devotion, my feelings, my act of service...?"

No response from it.

"What sort of betrayal are you talking about, my goddess? You know that I will never betray you."

A sly smile appeared on my lips. "Wrong answer," I said before I passed by him.

"What?"

I ignored Frederick. He had given me the wrong answer. That sort of promise would lead me to despair.

"My goddess, what have I done wrong?" he asked. His tone sounded frustrated at my ambiguous words. "What do you mean I have answered you wrongly? I do not understand..."

I turned at Frederick who yanked my arm to halt me from walking. I looked into his eyes, making him uncomfortable on his ground. I could hear his heart pounding so fast like if I kept prolonging my silence, his heart would explode from anticipation.

"My goddess—"

"Ask yourself if you are not betraying me already, darling." His eyes widened. At that moment, his hand on my forearm slowly released himself from it. It seemed like it burned him. Chuckling, I tiptoed to kiss his opened lips and nibbled his lower lip. "Stay here and be a good boy for your goddess, darling," I ordered before I slowly stepped back, looking at his dumbfounded expression.

I hid the smile drawing from my lips by using the book I had in my hand to cover it.

Ah, yes. I caught him off guard.

I wonder how he would react later. I was only messing his head but I knew there was a probability that he would betray me in the end.

And I needed to prepare for that.

I needed to prepare my wolf for it.

Because of this sort of betrayal, this wasn't an easy topic.

This could lead me back to the abyss. All I could only do was to protect myself from it again.

But I already knew that I was too late. I was in the abyss that could no longer be saved.

Even if I said that Frederick was my salvation...