Happy E, Happy Life.

Randi:

Flipping through a recent INK’D momentarily scanning my eyes over the sleeping creature called my ‘Bestie-Homie-Sexpot’, my little E, nuzzled comfortably into the plush white duvet and matching pillows like a cute little hamster.

The matching white side chairs complimented the dark gray couch with pops of color for a modern-Moroccan motif, all tied together with the rich walnut hardwood floor. Glancing at the muted flat screen mounted above the gray stone-faced fireplace, sighing at the majestic landscapes of tropical getaways.

We need a damn vacation.

Turning my head slightly to the soft click of the aged-walnut door, smiling brightly at those smoldering gray eyes peeking around the edge.

“Hey, Sexy!” Speaking the words loud enough but not overly loud to keep from waking E too soon.

“Hey, Hot Stuff.” Mentally fanning myself as his lean figure slithered into the quiet room, gently closing the door with his tanned hand as those swirling grays zeroed in on my relaxed pose, legs crossed lazily with gray sweats and a white tank.

Leaning back enough to accept a slow, sensual kiss with his velvety soft lips tinged in a subtle aftermath of vanilla and dark roast. Licking my lips as he slowly pulled back with a dangerous smirk of mischievous intent etched across those fine features of sexual masculinity.

“ahtaj sarawil dachlia godida (I need new panties).” Abandoning the magazine in my fingers, fanning myself like a Southern belle sweltering on a hot summer night in Georgia.

You just spoke like a true southern belle, Good Gracious.

“If you reference ‘panties’ and any form of sexual innuendo, I’ll slice your dick off and shove it in your mouth.” Snapping our humorous eyes over to the feisty, grumpy woman sitting with her palms pressed into the mattress holding up her sleep-hazed torso.

“Careful E, knowing ‘this one’ he’ll enjoy it.” Rex leaned over placing a gentle kiss on her temple with a whispered comment that had her scoffing out a devious grin of agreement.

“Now Look! Just because I have tried to self-mouth-resuscitate myself in an awkward yoga pose, doesn’t mean shit.” Pointing my finger between both expressions that bordered deranged Hill-Billy and Jeffery Dommer.

“Aww. Randi-Pandi, come give me a hug.” Her deranged smirk was gone in a flash, replaced with a bright playful smile that rivaled my own, jumping up from the chair, sliding into her warm embrace as we cuddled together in her twisted nest of blankets and pillows.

“Where’re the guys?” Her smiling face scanned over the room, looking between us for an answer.

“The Club. A small electrical fire shut down the Club for repairs and the guys went there to assess the damage for the insurance.” Laughing as she jumped from the bed scurrying across the room into the bathroom with a monstrous sigh.

“Pregnancy piss is the best.” Rex hollered out playfully, dropping down onto the bed next to me with those rippling muscles kissing the thin fabric of his black shirt and gray sweats.

Taking a bite mentally, snarling out a raspy hiss.

“How long was I knocked out for?” Her voice echoed from the bathroom over the rushing whoosh of water, smirking up at that smoldering smile gazing down at me with a playful wink.

“Four days beautiful.” Draping my arm over my tilted thigh as she walked out looking refreshed but lost in thought.

“We missed New Year’s.” Her shoulders slumped as she crawled into the fluffy bed, snuggling up to Rex as he wrapped her in a gentle embrace, rocking her slightly in his muscular arms of black inks and designs, kissing her head softly.

“We still have the next one…” Cut off abruptly.

“NO! I’ll be a fucking beached whale by then, this was going to be a surprise.” Her pouty expression had us chuckling, leaning over to kiss her puffed cheek.

“Well, fill us in on what you plan, and we’ll help any way possible.” Rex sat up on his elbow, tucking a few locks of fiery red behind her ear.

“Since we’re home, I planned on the club, but I don’t want to mess with their insurance claim.” She fidgeted nervously with her fingers as she silently mapped out a second plan of action.

“What about here?” Motioning to the house, knowing the massive music parlor on the backside of the house the guys had converted for her rehearsal room.

“No, I wanted the club because that’s where all this happened.” She motioned through the air around the room with her finger then between us with a bright smile as her golden blues twinkled gently against the glistening sun rays peeking through the massive terrace doors.

“We can make that happen. Remember, ‘it’s just a bunch of Hocus Pocus’.” Rex laughed brightly, kissing her cupped hands in his as he pulled her from the bed, shoving her into the closet.

Maxine and Sue made for great accomplices distracting the guys at the house while we got to work transforming the club into a sensual Cirque Du Soleil equipped with acrobatic silks. E directed us to text the guys, saying something along the line of ‘the contractors being confused about the materials requested’, you know, make them grumble all the way over here because all four wanted the remodel to be perfect with E in mind.

“Relax, they’ll be shittin’ kittens when they see what she has planned.” Rex laughed lightly leaning against the side entrance door, looking smokin’ in those loose fitted gray sweats hugging the masterpiece hidden beneath the two layers of thin cotton material.

“Hey, eyes up here Hot Stuff.” Scanning slowly over his relaxed pose, legs crossed at the ankles causing the sweat material to dip away from the deep indent of his tight V-line and abdominal muscles covered in a tight black V-neck. Licking my lips thinking of the tangy goodness that swelled between those muscular thighs. Staring into those sultry grays highlighted by deep tanned flesh and dark, coarse black hair tightly lined along his hard jawline, fading up into a sexy fade of dark black locks tousled perfectly with his styling mousse.

“I know where they’re at,” Licking my lips with a perked brow, smiling at the fact after ten years I could still make my ‘Sexy Rex’ squirm with a simple action. Stepping into his panting chest, flinching away slightly as quick flashes of light signaled our unexpecting targets have arrived. Turning enough to watch the blacked-out Rover roll to a stop.

“Showtime.” Rex chuckled in our link.

“Yo! Randi, what gives?” Chris slid out of the Rover with his hands flung out in a dramatic entrance of annoyance.

“Seriously, couldn’t they have just waited ‘til morning. We were trying to surprise E.” Ben growled out grumpily, rounding the hood of the Rover as the night air swirled the engine heat in a seductive dance of wispy trails against the automatic headlights flashing off.

“Sorry, Guys! They insisted on finalizing the details because they know how important it is to you.” Rex swung the heavy steel door open with a soft squeak of the hinges, motioning with his hand to enter.

“Yeah. Happy E, Happy Life.” Smiling evilly at Rex’s eye roll, quickly draped in a heavy cast of shadows as the steel door sealed off the dim light of the alleyway, adjusting to the shift in low light as echoed foot shuffles revibrated off the concrete and steel hallway.

I’m so excited I could just spit! Love you RuPaul.