Chapter Ten: The other me

I spin round, trying to figure out who just spoke to me. It was so loud, as if someone were speaking to me right in front of me. Apart from the forest entrance behind me, which was even then quite a few meters away, I see no one. I’ve only just left the community and I’m already going insane?

“No, you’re not, but you can’t see me.” The voice says as if able to read my thoughts. I turn round once more to make sure there’s no one around. I shake my head trying to figure out what’s going on when the voice speaks again. “Please don’t be worried, I promise you’re not going crazy. I’ve always been here. We’ve just not met yet.”

I stand in the same spot for several minutes, contemplating what’s happening to me. I take a look back at the forest and as before, I can’t see the elven community. I’m on my own in this one. I’m going insane.

I decide to think and I end up taking the crazy route, and speak to myself in my head. “So who are you then, if not me?”

“I am you, or at least, another part of you. My name is Athena.”

I close my eyes and rub them out of frustration. My own mind is speaking to me and has its own name, how does this even work?

“It works because we are part of the same soul.” The voice…Athena says. “I was awakened at the ceremony…The Moon Goddess woke me.”

Now that gets me thinking. The Moon Goddess woke her….is it even a female? “Can you tell me what you mean by you were awakened?” I ask myself.

“Yes, I am a female…Wouldn’t it be weird to have two genders in the same head?” She says and I can tell that she is snickering. My own mind laughs at me.

“I’ve always been a part of you, but I’ve been dormant within you, until the Goddess deemed it time for me to be a part of you, wholly…we are one and the same, same consciousness, same body, and the same soul.”

I contemplate all of this, and decide that it’s not such a bad thing having someone else with me all the time, even though I cannot see them. I hang onto this though, wondering if Athena had a body, or whether it has always just been within me.

“I do have a body, but it is also yours. One day, we will both see it, but for now, this is not the time or place.”

“What does that mean?” I asked in confusion. “Do I split in two?” The thought of that scares me. Surely that’s not possible.

“I’m unsure. I’ve not seen it myself. You and I were born as one. I only know I was concealed by magic at an early stage in our lives and was then awakened by magic at the ceremony. I can flip through your memories and see what you have seen, but the future to me is as much unknown as it is to you. I know that physically I look different, but how different, I am unsure.” She says.

I remember the Elder saying one of his students saw magic being lifted from me and replaced by something else…Is that Athena I think to myself.

“I think so. I believe the Goddess used the eclipse to remove the magic that was keeping me in a deep slumber.” Athena says as she intercepts my thoughts. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to that, not having a mind to my own.

“You’ll get used to it, don’t worry. Just think of me as the smart one.” She remarks, cockily. I smile, knowing her and I are one and the same.

I take a look once again at the horizon in front of me, shift my bag on my back, and start walking towards the Northern valleys ahead.

As I walked, I thought about what I would see next. I’m used to seeing abandoned villages and towns, but I’ve not been this far West. I would guess I am in the deep Western district, hundreds of miles from where I started when I left my parents. This was all unknown territory to me, and a few years ago I would have been scared. But now, I love the adventure. I quickly brush off the comfortable feeling I had when we were with the elven community. Yes, it was safer there but I was limited.

As we get closer to the mountains ahead, I wonder where Athena got her name from. She already knows what I’m thinking, so she answers. “I can’t say I know who gave me my name. When I woke, the first thing I knew was my name. I have no doubt it was the Moon Goddess and Sun God gave it to me.”

“I like it…it reminds me of something I learned in history, but I can’t put my finger on it.” I ponder for a few moments more, then dismissing it. “Maybe it was something else. That memory was from another time though, so long ago.”

Athena makes a small noise and when I concentrate on it, I can hear she’s whimpering. When I ask her what’s wrong, she spells it out. “I can feel what you feel Aliana. All your pain, loneliness, how scared you were when it got dark at night and you were alone for months on end….I feel all it all. I’m so sorry you had to go through it all alone, especially burying your parents. I wish I was there to comfort you when you did that, the lowest point in your life.” I feel the tears brimming my eyes as I go through the memories I had of the lowest points of my journey and reminiscing them with Athena.

“I’m here with you now, and I’m not going anywhere. We’re in this together” She says.

At that moment, I wish I could hug myself, as weird as it sounds. I’m still not fully comfortable with the fact that I have Athena with me in my head, invading my thoughts, but I am glad that I can share this pain with someone else.

I shake the thoughts of my past away. I look around me and see the landscape slowly changing as I walk. The hills around me have started to become steeper. I see ahead a prominent dip in between the hills which eventually leads to a path. The path seems to be old, broken and undeniably unused, but there none the less. This is the path I am to take to get through the valley and out to the cliffs.

“I think you should go West.” Athena says suddenly as I start making my way towards the path.

“Why’s that? I’ve been warned by the elven Elders not to head down that way if I can help it.”

“I know, I saw it in your memories. I’ve got a hunch that we need to go that way.”

I stop and think for a minute. It is very much a real possibility that I will need to go there sooner or later. But I think for now, we should go North.

“I don’t think that’s a safe bet just now. I would much rather head North, then East. If we see nothing there, then I’ll consider heading West. I don’t want to risk missing anything out to the North East. I reckon there’ll either be nothing or well, nothing of interest. But I do not want to go in to the dark forest which could take weeks to cover, whereas the North East could take days.”

Athena huffs a little, but agrees. Best to take some time to cover all areas, rather than miss it and end up going back there in the long run.

We continue walking for hours, and I can see the Sun starting to retreat behind the mountain to the West. I used to hate the dark, but ended up getting used to it after many months of being scared of anything that could happen. As time went on, and nothing did happen, I ended up enduring the darkness and learned to love it, especially when the Moon was out. The Moon had drawn me in, and I feel so close to it when it is full…tonight though, there is a half Moon.

The mountains are now both sides of me, standing tall, as I walk down the valley. There is a thin tree line either side of me, making the other side of the tree line visible, which I suppose is the foot of the mountains. I keep going forward until I can see last light of the day. I stop and set up a hammock.

As I settle into my hammock I think about everything that’s happened today and how exhausted it’s made me. I left the Druida Community, I said goodbye to my best friend who is the first friend I’ve had since I left the human districts and I don’t know if I’ll ever see him again. I’ve met Athena, who I’ve instantly allowed myself to have a deep connection to, and shared all of my memories with, and now I am travelling to find my purpose in life.

Just as I close my eyes to get some sleep before tomorrow comes, I get a strange feeling that something is watching me. I open my eyes and take a look around, but I don’t see or hear anything.

I shake it off. Must be me just getting ready to get used to the lonely nights, once again in my life.