Chapter Thirty-five: The search

I stay where I am, in the middle of the lake underwater trying to figure out what’s going on. I’m breathing, but I’m not drowning. It’s as if the water is flowing through my lungs, like air usually would.

I remember when I was smaller I had tried to breathe under water, as silly as I was. I explicitly remember spluttering after trying to inhale the water, feeling like my lungs were on fire as I tried to force out all of the water I had taken in.

But just now I felt like I was breathing normally. I even took a deep breath in and felt no difference as if I were on land, rather than under water.

“It must be one of the gifts the Moon Goddess and Sun God were on about?” Athena says, and I nod my head in agreement. I had always felt a pull to the water, so maybe I take after my Mother more in that sense.

My mind starts racing through all of the information I had just been provided with. I just met with not one, but two deities….both of which were my real parents. They basically also confirmed there were more of them.

Instead of a weight being lifted off my shoulder with some answers I’ve had since childhood, I feel like I’ve had a load placed on and I’m now carrying a bigger burden.

I wish I had more time with them. To understand why I had no sign, or no information at all that my parents were alive. I didn’t care that they were Gods. It would have just been nice to know I hadn’t been alone in the last five years. I wish that they had told me more about their own lives, and our world, and everything that comes with it. I would have liked to of learned more about the other Gods and about the other abilities or the so called gifts I may have gained.

I shake myself out of these continuous thoughts as I remember that I have a life to get back to on this side of things, and I know for a fact that Lukas will be worried after seeing me dive off of the cliff edge. I smile internally thinking of him and our bond together. The Moon Goddess said she chose Lukas for me, to be my mate. I have no doubt about her choice for me, we’ve connected even though I feel like I haven’t known him long.

I look up and see the light shining above so I start to swim up towards the surface. I must find Lukas and tell him everything. I want to tell him before anyone else, even the Elders who I’m sure would love to hear all the details I’d just learned myself. A sense of urgency comes about my thoughts, knowing that they forebode doom and I felt it within my soul that something bad is going to happen soon.

I continue to swim and find that I’m able to get to the surface in the matter or mere seconds. I shake my head, surprised. I push the new ability to the side though as I need to see Lukas, so I look around to see where I’ve resurfaced.

The lake is large, but I can see not too far away the cliff edge I had fallen from. I start to swim towards it, but veer towards the right side of it, to where the cliff edge meets the lake shallows. As soon as I get there, I stand, and remembered that I’m naked.

I cringe slightly, not wanting anyone to see me with no clothes on. I look around me to see if I can see anyone about. Unable to see anyone, I walk out of the lake, and head towards the nearest tree which is a few meters away.

After peering around the tree and trying to listen out for anyone about, I find that no one is around. I start to walk slowly up, towards the top of the cliff where I had jumped off.

As I continue up and get closer to the top, I find I haven’t seen or heard anyone. I start to worry slightly, hoping that no one had jumped in after me.

I get to the top and keep hidden behind the trees, scouting the area. I see the podium we were standing at not too long ago and notice it’s deserted. I glance around the area and see no one about. I notice no sounds, either. I frown, wondering how so many people had dispersed so quickly.

I step out and I walk towards the podium, and take a look at the side where Elder Wyatt pulled the mirror from. I see one of the small robes and pull it out and instantly wrap it around myself, covering myself up in case someone seen me.

I stand up now, not afraid for anyone to see me, but I am unable to see anyone. I am unable to smell anything as well, as if no one had been here for a while.

“What is going on? Surely they’ve not all left already? We were only just here!” I sigh, unsure what is happening.

“Ali, I think we’ve been gone a while.” Athena suggests to me.

I look around and notice that it is getting lighter, as if the Sun is about to rise. I think back to when I was in the lake last time and I was there for hours apparently, but even back then I don’t remember being able to breath under water.

“Do you really think I’ve been there a while? It only feels like we were gone for half an hour!” I exclaim in my mind, going crazy that I could have potentially been away for a few hours again.

I feel Athena whimper. “Ali….”

Before she can finish her sentence, I feel a presence behind me.

“Aliana?”

I turn around, and my mouth drops.

Lukas is standing there on his own, his shocked eyes displaying a multitude of emotions. He has red raw eyes, which have bags underneath them, as if he’s not slept in days. He’s seemingly grown a slightly thick black beard, which is at least an inch long. His usually short side, long top hair is now longer, as if he’s not cut it for a while.
I stand there, shocked, unable to comprehend what is happening. Why does he look so different? What on Earth is going on?

I stand there, unable to move or to speak, and Lukas does the same. We continue to look at each other. I find my mind going blank, unsure how to proceeds everything that has happened in the last short while for me, but evidently it has been much longer for him.

I see a single tear fall from his eyes and I decide I have to push myself to him. I run up to him, and I hug him tightly, placing both of my arms around him. I feel his body shivering at my touch and I feel him shuddering as he starts to cry.

I find that he’s lost a little bit of weight as I hold him. Athena and I start to panic as we start to understand we’ve been gone…for a while.

I stand there silently, supporting him as he tried to pull himself together. I feel his body starting to relax slightly but he doesn’t let go.

I don’t have the heart to pull away, so we stay there for a few moments more, in our embrace.

“Lukas…..how long was I gone?” I ask, needing to know the answer.

“A month.” He says, roughly.

That was enough to shatter my thoughts. I had been gone for what felt like no longer than half an hour, but in actual reality I had been gone weeks. I wish I had known….I wish they had told me.

I feel the tears falling from my eyes before I knew it. I had been fine in my own little bubble, speaking with my parents whilst everyone here, especially Lukas had been looking for me, probably thinking I was dead. I finally snapped, feeling so overwhelmed with all the information they gave to me and coming back to find out my mate had been without me for so long.

I hated the thought that Lukas had been looking for me, and had obviously not been looking after himself. I didn’t like knowing that this is something that I caused, all because I jumped over a cliff.

“I….I thought you were dead. We searched everywhere. I tried to swim to the bottom but each time I had to come back up. I tried for days….I thought you were gone. We gave up the search weeks ago after there was no sign of you…no sign of a body.” He says still holding onto me, his voice breaking at the end of every sentence.

I feel my heart break at every word. He’s been through hell. I pull myself away from him slightly, so I can take his face into my hands and I look directly into his eyes.

“Lukas….I’m sorry. I had no control over how long I was away for. For me, it’s felt like I have been away for no longer than thirty minutes…..I have no idea how or why I was away for so long. But I have a lot to tell you…when you’re ready.”

He looks at me through his golden eyes and seems to understand what I’m saying, but I can see he’s hurt and doesn’t understand what’s happened, and in all honesty, neither do I.

I wish the Moon Goddess and Sun God had prepared me for this.

We continue to look at each other and I decide not to look away until he does. I can tell he doesn’t believe I am here, so I stay with him, hoping that his mind can process that I am really here.

We both stand there for a few more minutes before he finally takes a deep breath, exhales and then pulls me into a larger embrace, swinging his arms around me properly and planting his nose into my hair, taking another deep breath.

“I’ve been coming up here every Sun rise and Sun set, hoping you would come back to me, give me a sign, anything. Everyone told me you were gone, but I knew….I knew deep down you would come back to me. The Moon Goddess wouldn’t be so cruel to me….or maybe she would have, knowing I deserve it. I should have been loyal to my one and only mate, not the other she-wolves I’ve slept with before you.” He says, his voice breaking again.

I feel the pain he feels through our bond, and I hug him that little bit tighter. I release any of the pent up anger I had about him sleeping with others before me because I know this was one of our pain points from our previous argument. Deep down I know why he did it, and although I wish he didn’t, what’s done is done. I can’t change the past.

I find myself suddenly exhausted, and I feel my legs ready to give out and the rest of my body slowly shutting down. I take my hand and pinch the bridge of my nose, unsure why now my body has decided that I need to sleep.

Lukas notices, but doesn’t do anything other than hold onto me that bit tighter, not wanting to let go.

“Let’s go home and sleep. I think you need it.” He says very quietly, almost a whisper, still nuzzled in my hair. “And to be honest, so do I.”

“Yes, let’s.” I say just as quietly.

He picks me up gently, and I complain about him using his strength to lift me. But he does it anyway and in the end I’m grateful, as I find myself drifting asleep in his arms, my eyes suddenly unable to keep open.

Before my world went black, I had to tell him.

“Lukas….I met my parents.”