Chapter 50

KIRA:
What I want to know now is how I was so relaxed around Alpha Reid. And this thought follows me all the way home. Even until I get into my room.
Fortunately, mom didn’t ask why I got home earlier than expected. My saving grace was kind of Adam who decided to wait for me somewhere outside the apartment. And it was not until he noticed me did he decide to head in. Made it seem like we just got back around the same time.
I have Dropped my bag already while standing to ponder on the scenario that occurred today. Adam was not in the room with me or I would not have the time to think through the way I ought to. According to him, he wanted to go rabbit hunting which seems sort of weird to do.
The last statement Alpha Reid left with me was the most comprehensive of all. What does he mean by me being special? Does he know anything about me? This is crazy. How would he even know my identity? Or could he be that he is the same as me?
It instantly brings me to the one being I know would answer that for me. And that is when I decide to go through my head and turn off the blockage I put in place. One that hindered my wolf from communicating with me for a long time now.
‘You finally decided to reach out to me, huh?’ is the first thing she utters as soon as I feel her connection with me.
‘Well, yes,’ I admit. ‘And it’s for a serious issue.’
‘Every issue that happens with you is always serious, Kira. That hasn’t changed,’ she states. ‘So what is it this time? Having trouble with the alpha’s words?’
‘I tend to forget that we both share the same intellects,’ I am keen to observe before suddenly switching to words because I was starting to realize I might be getting to my limit using the mind-link. “Anyways, that is the issue I have. Alpha Reid called me special twice today. What do you think he meant? Does he know about my swift maturity into gaining a spirit wolf? And you had better answer me this time around because the last time I asked you something similar to this when it had to do with Kelvin, you zoned out on me.”
‘I was going to answer anyway,’ she tells me, and I could swear that she sneered at me when she did so. ‘To be honest with you, Kira, I don’t think he knows anything about you. I could not feel the common connection I felt with Kelvin which means he probably means something else with his words.’
“Something else like what?”
‘Who am I to know? The perfect thing you could have done was ask him what he meant but you chose to zone out at that time. How then do you expect me to have an idea? Read his mind? You know that is not possible because if it were, I would surely be able to help you out.’
“I’m not asking you to have read his mind. I’m asking to have at least deciphered his words since obviously you are the smarter one here,”
‘And that is what I will always be,’ she says teasingly. Any more of that would cause me to wish she was in front of me so could hit her in the face. ‘How can you be so evil-minded, Kira?’
“Are you reading my thoughts now?”
‘You made me to. I could perceive the evil you were exuding.’
I roll my eyes as I try to get my thoughts back into what we are discussing. Pretty sure she was trying to deviate my mind from it. Alexia could be tricky when she wants to.
“Since we have no idea what he meant by that, at least you could tell me why he seems so interested in me. And why the hell was I so relaxed talking to him when I should be keeping my distance from him? For heaven’s sake, he is the alpha of the Night Blaze pack! The damn alpha. And I, as a member of the Green Dales, suddenly become relaxed around him. All for what? Because he helped me once?”
‘The first thing you will need to do now is calm down. Have you forgotten that you do not stay alone in this quarters?’
“Well next time be sure to remind me before I blow my brains out while trying to understand how complicated things are around me,”
Out of frustration, I collapse on the mattress, not minding that I might hit my head on something from going down without an ounce of care. Well if get injured, I was going to heal in no time, wouldn’t I? That should be the least of my worries now.
‘Listen, Kira. Before you let all this get into you, first think about the possibility of there being a genuine reason for all of this. I am certain you did not meet with all this without a reason. You sure did not become a special being for nothing. You did not meet Kelvin for nothing. And you sure as hell are not being called special for nothing. So just look into it as something that has a great significance. But the problem is that I have no idea where all this is going to lead you to.’
Even with her words, I still was not satisfied. I needed a better understanding of everything going on and she only compounded my worries by trying to make me see a positive in everything. What positive? I need no positive. I need answers!
“Why do you think that happened to me?” I find myself asking her a while later.
‘What’s that?’ she asks, obviously trying to figure out what I mean by that. Her tone said it all.
“The crazy hallucination as described by Alpha Reid... why do you think I had it?”
‘Because you came in contact with the substance, I guess. At least that is what he said.’
I am skeptical about her response because I certainly do not want to agree with that. “Yes I did come in contact with the substance, but Kelvin also did and he did not tell me anything about hallucinating. What is it just me?”
‘You might need to ask yourself something first...’
“Ask myself what?”
‘If you found out from Kelvin about possibly going through the same thing as you did.’
That instantly takes me down memory lane. Especially to the time I first cast him off after citing that I wanted nothing to do with him again. I made mention of the hallucination but he did not mention anything that correlated with that to me.
‘Well, he didn’t say anything when I told him about it.’ I switch back to the mind-link to communicate with her.
‘Because you never asked,’ she states. ‘If you had asked, perhaps he might have been willing to talk. Even if he didn’t go through what you did go through, at least it would give him the idea about what issue you are going through. But what have you been doing since? You have been pushing him away, making him feel like he is the reason for your problems.’
‘Well, isn’t he?’
‘How could he possibly be? All he has been doing since you met him has been him trying to link up with you so you could understand yourself better. Tell me, how does that feel like him being the root of your problems?’
That makes sense. It truly does. And the crazy thing about this is that I never did think of it that way. Since there was no one to blame after the whole issue that resulted in Bradley saying those spiteful words to me, I had to blame it on Kelvin because I needed an excuse as to what occurred, in general, that day. Guess I should not have gone too far.
“Alexia,” I call to my wolf.
‘Yes?’
“What do I do now? I feel like I have been screwing up real bad lately and it is starting to bother me.”
‘I know,’ Alexia says. ‘That is why you also thought shutting me out would help you figure things out on your own. And did it? No. You came running back to me again.’
“Why do you always have to rub it on my face each time I try to be sober?”
‘Because I have to. You act like you have everything figured out, especially when you reach a downside, but you don’t. You don’t, Kira. And the earlier you realize this, the better for you.’
“Okay stop. Just tell me what I need to do.”
‘Right now, I have nothing to say that would be helpful. But what I know is that you might need to see the Night Blaze’s alpha again. I think he knows more about the mysterious happenings than anyone else at this period. At least among those you relate with.’