Chapter 33 - Nana's funeral.

Funeral etiquette demanded Amelia to come for Nana's funeral, offer her best memories of Nana and attend the wake to provide sympathy on demand.
She would have done it either ways, regardless of whatever was happening with Xavier. She was after all family. But though she wanted to keep an appropriate distance, her feelings for Xavier were more complicated with everything that was happening.
He told her that he was falling in love with her and she, like a stupid teenage girl had fallen hopelessly in love with him while he loved another.
In her lonely hours in her rented hotel room she had pondered on the thought that Xavier was still very much into Daphne. She had always been the one he wanted. Not her.

Grief tore at her insides like a tornado, as she climbed the steps to the church door, yet before it could open her tears fell thickly and her voice became stuck in her throat. Skipping the funeral was unforgivable, seeing Xavier would be pure torture. All things considered, Amelia decided against her heart, she had to go, no matter what was happening between her and Xavier.


The coffin was dark stained cherry and it was perfectly polished. It had a cushioned and silky lining. It seemed inviting. It was beautiful.
The funeral was all black clothes and white waxy faces, every one of them with puffed red eyes. Amelia couldn't blame them, Nana was a sweetheart.

Amelia stood next to Xavier in the front pew at the church. It was where she was required to stay anyways and she didn't want to cause a scene on Nana's special day by sitting somewhere else. He was straight faced and his face was ashen, but he looked relieved when he saw her. Amelia didn't say a word to him or any other person in the family. She didn't spot Daphne too.

She smoothed the front of her lace dress, it was something she had purchased last minute since she didn't want to go back to Xavier's house to pick up her clothes. It was a long sleeved A line dress that reached her knees. She also wore a feathered black hat with a birdcage face veil. Her hair was strengthened out and put in a neat bun.
The funeral started with a couple of hymns that Amelia knew nothing about, then it went on to the priest saying a few words. Till Nana's youngest and only surviving daughter Sylvia was called to the stand.
She was Nana's daughter, but she lived far away in Texas and she travelled frequently, she was rarely around and Amelia didn't think she deserved the honour of speaking first. She only ever met her once.

Xavier clearly thought the same as his hands curled into fists while he gritted his teeth. His Aunt Lucy tried to calm him down.

After Sylvia Black was Xavier's distant cousin, Phillip Black. Who Amelia had never seen before, he knew so little about Nana's final moments that he stuttered throughout his entire speech, clearly the only one who wasn't close to Nana.
Xavier was the last person the priest called on the stand and the priest stated that it was because he was the closest to her.

Amelia watched him walk up to the stand and take a long moment of silence before he started. She could hear his hurt through his voice and in his pauses.
She wiped tears onto her sleeve. She kept it all together until they passed a picture of her to everyone and that was when all the memories came flooding back like a tidal wave. Her face seemed so alive and happy and she couldn't help but wonder what she looked like under that closed coffin. She stared blankly at it hoping that a miracle would happen and she would rise again and come back to the world, come back to Xavier so he could at least be happy again. But nothing happened. She was gone.

After the sombre church service, Amelia ignored all of Xavier's calls and protests and left for the funeral. Xavier's Aunt was kind enough to give her a ride while begging Xavier to give her some time. It wasn't time for their little argument or anything remotely close to a chat when Nana was about to be finally laid to rest.

"Maybe you should hear him out."
Xavier's aunt said as they both entered the limo. Amelia was deathly quiet. She slowly glanced at Xavier's aunt, the woman was nearing her late forties and her husband already had balding head with a receding hairline. From the little Xavier had told her, she didn't have any kids. Xavier's mother had also found it very hard to have kids and she almost died during childbirth, that was why he was an only child.

"Maybe he shouldn't have cheated."

Amelia answered after a long moment of silence.

"He didn't cheat. It's all so complicated, I think if you sit and have a talk with him, he'll be able to explain things better."

Why was everyone trying to convince her otherwise? Why was everyone telling her that Xavier didn't cheat? Amelia knew what she saw, she remembered the sight clearly and she had drawn her conclusions from what she had seen.

Xavier cheated on her, with Daphne, his ex girlfriend that he claimed to have nothing to do with. Daphne's call had made things much more worse. Amelia couldn't stop thinking about her final statement with how Daphne had said Xavier was always going to keep running back to her.


Xavier watched Amelia through his sunglasses. She had refused to talk to him, rejecting all his advances. He wished she would give him a chance to explain. Even if it was only a minute, but she was determined to hate him for what he did and he didn't blame her, except he didn't do it.
He had to find a way to vindicate himself, one way or the other. His mind went back to the toxicology reports that he had received from the lab. Perhaps if Amelia saw that he was drugged up, she would believe that he wasn't in his right state of mind when it happened.

Daphne had been missing too, he tried calling her and she had not picked any of his calls, after the funeral he was going to talk to his lawyers about it. He was seriously considering taking legal actions against her.

The procession went by slowly, with the priest saying a few words and the coffin being lowered into the ground. That was when it had all ended, everyone came to offer their condolences and one by one they all left. Till it remained Xavier.
He turned back and found Amelia waiting too, his heart leaped in excitement as he walked up to her with a small smile.

"I'm glad you came."

"I'm only here for Nana."

Amelia replied curtly as she turned around to leave. Xavier drew her back and she snatched her arm away from him.

"You've lost the right to touch me."

She said and Xavier retreated with a hurt and defeated look. He pocketed his hands and sighed.

"Why don't you let me explain. Please."

Amelia cocked her head slightly, weighing her options. She didn't feel like there was a need for Xavier to explain, in fact, she didn't want him to explain. How was he going to explain that he was sleeping with his ex girlfriend, what possible excuse would he have to give for her to believe him.

"I'm listening."

"Daphne, she put something in my drink. She drugged me. And she did it all to get me in bed with her. I swear! I'm serious. I ended up in the hospital after, I had no idea what she did. The drug...it messed me up."

Amelia opened her mouth, she was shocked. The least she had expected from Xavier was for him to own up to his mistake. Not lie about it.

"Xavier... You don't really expect me to believe that..."

Amelia said softly as she started turning away.

Xavier ran his hands through his hair out of frustration

"I'm serious! I really am! She did it!"

"You know, she called me. She told me everything that happened. She said you would always come running back to her. And you did."

She let out a breath she didn't know she was holding and she blinked back tears.

"I just didn't expect you to lie about it..."

"Amelia..." Xavier begged. He didn't know how he was going to convince her otherwise, because it was obvious that she didn't believe him. He had to find proof somehow. An idea popped in his head.

The toxicology reports! Yes, they were the only things that proved the existence of drugs in his system. One of the only things that should make Amelia believe him.

"I have proof. I'll get it for you. I swear, what if I show you that I have proof?"

"Will you forgive me Amelia?"

Amelia turned back yo look at Xavier's, for the longest time she had avoided staring into his intense blue eyes for too long. She didn't want to find reasons to stay with him, or make excuses for him when her feelings took over. She had dealt with cheating partners before and it never ended well.
They always continued, they were always going to cheat and the one thing that Amelia hated was betrayal.

"You want my forgiveness?"

Amelia asked with a small smile and Xavier nodded.

"More than anything in the world. It's all I want. I love you Amelia. I can't afford to lose you when you are the only person in this whole fucking world that I want."

There was a long pause as Amelia digested Xavier's words. He just told her that he loved her. She didn't know if it was out of desperation or not. But the memory of Xavier and Daphne in bed was in a constant loop in her mind.

"If I forgive you, will you give me anything I want?"

Xavier hastily held Amelia's hands as he caressed them. There was a glimmer of hope, if Amelia was already talking about forgiveness, she must believe him. Or at least want to know the truth.

"Yes, yes Anything Amelia."

Amelia smiled a bit. It was a sad smile and her heart was begging her. Her decision would be the end of them. It would shatter her heart.

"Good. I forgive you."

Amelia whispered, Xavier watched her incredulously as he slowly hugged her, he didn't believe it. Tears blurred his vision as he took in the sweet French vanilla scent that was the signature smell of Amelia. He was still holding on tightly to her when he noticed that she wasn't hugging him back, in fact, her hands stood limply at her sides.

He slowly drew away to stare at her face. Half of her face was covered by the hat she was wearing and her large violet eyes were blurred with tears, her mouth was curled up in a frown as the tears slowly fell unto her rosy cheeks. Her porcelain smooth complexion looked resplendent in the glow of the sun.

"What's wrong?"

He asked slowly as Amelia started sobbing gently. He thought she had forgiven him.

"I want a divorce Xavier."