Chapter 21

Paulina
We turn around with a start, falling surprisingly on my husband standing in the doorway, I can see astonishing on his face. My heart starts beating a thousand an hour. What is he doing there? Since when is he there? I don't remember getting a call from him telling me he was coming home.
"What's going on here? What were you doing? Am I interrupting something perhaps? Or should I go out and let you continue with your work?" He says without moving from in front of the door.
I can read suspicion mixed with mistrust on his face. Since he once caught me in bed with another man years ago, my husband is very suspicious when he sees me in the company of another man. I must therefore use a lot of tact to prevent him from suspecting anything.
"Honey! Did you come home? Why didn't you tell me?" I ask the question to relax the atmosphere where one can feel a strong tension. The look Georges is giving me is not at all reassuring. I therefore have an interest in finding a way to reassure him quickly.
"You still haven't answered my question Madam. What were you doing earlier?" He reiterates his question with a stern face.
"Please Pen, can you leave me alone with Georges? I want to talk to my husband alone." I say turning to Pen who was standing silently staring at us not knowing what to say. He complies and leaves Georges and me alone.
"You better give me a good explanation about this show Madam! What were you doing on each other?" He asks me the question after Pen leaves. I can read anger as well as suspicion on his face. I have to find something to say quickly so that he calms down, lest I screw everything up. So I decide to play defensive and I tell him as I walk towards him
"Please honey, don't you think there was anything fishy between Pen and me?! Or should I remind you that he's my brother?!"
"I don't know, maybe yes you should remind it to me. Because it's a very funny way to be with your brother, and moreover in our marital room." He replies with the same accusing air.
"But what are you imagining there honey? Don't be ridiculous please! Pen and I are just really close and he was just massaging me. You still don't believe I could have done something wrong with him?! It's my brother after all, don't imagine anything, don't let your jealousy make you lose your mind anyway!" I retort by playing the shocked. I raise my voice to make him feel bad. In fact, the goal is to make him feel guilty for having had suspicious thoughts against us. I play with his psychology and that's my forte, making the victim feel guilty and pretending to be the victim.
"What did you want me to think seeing this scene? I found you in a position that doesn't benefit you, though! Even if you really are brother and sister, it's unclear." He exclaims, lowering the tone of his voice.
"It's nothing my darling, haven't you never seen a brother massaging his big sister? What's wrong with that? It just proves that my brother and I are very close friends and that's what should happen in all families. Stop imagining such things. Even if it were necessary to deceive you, do you still not think that I would do it with my own brother?! It would be pure incest all the same." I respond with indignation. I think he changed his mind after my words. He calms down much to my relief.
"Funny way to touch between brother and sister after all. Nevertheless, I hope for you that you are not cheating on me at all, whether it is with your brother, the neighbor or anyone?! Because the day that I'm going to catch you and your pseudo lover, I'm going to kill you both by strangling you with my own hands!" He said to me with a menacing look towards me.
"But what are you going to imagine my love? I will never be able to deceive you. I love you and I am a faithful woman. Come here, let me help you undress." I propose to him to relax the atmosphere. I go to him to unload his luggage and I invite him to come and sit on the bed. I help him take off his clothes afterwards.
"You came back quickly this time. Did your boss let you in without any problem? Why didn't you let me know so that I could cook you a good meal so that you can enjoy it when you return? The meal I prepared is already finished." I ask her while I'm taking her shoes off her feet.
"I wanted to surprise you when I get back. Don't worry about the food because I ate at the agency before coming here. And I came back quickly because from now on, I've been transferred in this city. I will therefore no longer need to travel all the time between two cities because I am torn between my family and my work. After years of steps in this direction, the good news fell last night and I I couldn't wait to come and tell you this good news in person. I didn't want to tell you over the phone. That's why I packed all my things and came today. It's a great news that deserves a big party to celebrate it." The idiot says to me with a happy air.
This is really bad news for me. And to think that he is jubilant about it as if I had wanted him to come back to this town. I really didn't expect to hear such news at all, especially with the delicate situation caused by Muse running away from the brothel. The constant presence of my husband will not play in favor of our projects. However, to keep up appearances, I force a nervous smile and then say
"Wow darling, that's good news!"
"Yes for sure! After all these years spent away from my family, I can finally be there permanently. We will form a united family from now on and I will be permanently with my children. I understand your joy my heart." He adds, smiling stupidly. I want to slap him and take that pissed off smile off his face, but I calm down to play the game.
To be bad news, this really is bad news. How can he come in when I need to carry out my activities quietly without being cluttered or disturbed by anyone? This is really bad news. As I know my husband, he won't hesitate to poke his nose into my activities and that's out of the question for that to happen. I need to quickly find a solution to this.
Muse
I remember when I was still in the brothel, that mama told me about her son who was also called Euniel. I don't know if it's the same Euniel, since it's a first name that several people have. I also didn't ask mama for her son's surname, or take any information about him. She didn't tell me anything about where he lives, how old he is, let alone what his profession is. I couldn't imagine that I was going to run into a young man named Euniel as his son, once out of the brothel. Besides, I didn't even know that I was going to get out of there one day, I was so desperate at that time.
"Do uou have any problem ?" The doctor asks me the question, after I repeat his name in surprise.
"No doctor, forgive my reaction! It's just that this first name reminded me of a particular person. A woman I knew in the past and whose son had the same first name as yours. She spoke of him with so much pride." I hasten to answer him, seeing his questioning gaze.
"It sure isn't my mother, because mine certainly wouldn't speak of me with pride." The doctor replies, staring into space. Seems like it's a pretty touchy subject for him seeing his face crumble after I mention his mother.
"I'm sorry to tell you about this! It's not that important."
"In that case, we will start your session for today. You can trust me because I will only try to help you. Okay?" He replies with a reassuring look at me.
"Okay doctor!" I respond by becoming more attentive to him.
Today's session went very well. Doctor Euniel tries to put me at ease and he does it very well, even if I often remain suspicious. He drew up a meeting schedule and gave it to me. We work twice a week. At the end of the third week of the session, despite all the efforts he made to put me at ease and get me to talk, I'm still walled up like I was from the start. I still can't open up and confide in him despite what he does to reassure me.
"What scares you so much about people?" He asks me during a session.
"I'm not scared of people doctor." I lie to him ashamed.
"Muse do I need to remind you that I'm a psychologist and it's easy for me to perceive people's feelings? I'm here to help you, okay? But I can't do it if you stay locked in yourself. Your dad is very worried about because he's worried about your future social life. Keeping in on yourself is not going to be good for you. Trust me, I promise you that whatever you tell me tell you will stay between us here and I won't tell anyone. However, you have to talk to me because talking is freeing." Dr. Euniel reassures me with yet other words that give me more confidence.
"So tell me, what scares you so much about people?" He repeats his question, looking me straight in the eye. I admit that his gaze disturbs me enormously. So I prefer to take my eyes off him so as not to be disturbed.
"I have this permanent anxiety that makes me believe that people around me are going to hurt me at any moment. I tell myself that their kindness hides an unacknowledged unhealthy act. on my guard. I can't trust anyone." I answer him with an open heart.
"You feel like all people are the same, that there can't be good people. So even those who want to do you good, you see them as your detractors. It's all because of the trauma caused by the painful events you have had to face." The doctor describes well what I feel and I agree with his sentence.
"Yes, that's what I do feel. Despite the kindness of Mr. Hawam and all the efforts he makes to get me to trust him, I have this constant fear inside me that tells me that he's also going to sell me to another brothel, that he's going to abandon me somewhere, or even that he's going to rape me. I always have this constant anxiety that he's going to end up hurting me and that his kindness is not disinterested, so I can't talk to him normally, I always want to ask him what trap he's going to set for me after all he's done." I tell the doctor with a frank heart.
"It's due to a trauma you've been through in your life isn't it?" He asks me.
"Yes, and this psychosis has surely been exacerbated with recent events."
"And would you tell me about those events that upset you so much?" He asks another question again. My heart tightens suddenly, and I remain silent while returning with a flash in the past. All this trauma that I went through, brings out in me memories as fresh as painful.
"You don't have to tell me that right now. You can take your time and when you feel ready to tell me about it, I'll be here to listen to you. Okay?" He tells me after realizing that I have become reluctant.
"Okay!" I respond by shaking my head.
Working with Dr. Euniel does me a lot of good. I manage to relax little by little. I can already chat with Mr. Hawam longer than in the past.
Paulina
Muse's running away from the brothel really got me thinking. I understood that this house had flaws that had to be filled at all costs. Since my husband came back, I can no longer concentrate on my business. He's the type who wants to know everything I do and if I'm not careful he might find out about the brothel, while I try to keep that part of my life as secret as possible. I will not allow him to find out at all. Pen and I have become as discreet as possible. We don't see each other at home anymore, for fear that Georges doesn't suspect something. When he came back from the city where he was working, he had a month off from work and he was all the time slumped at home, supposedly saying that he wants to take advantage of this leave to be with his family who he missed him a lot. However, I don't care about his presence. He may even end his whole life away from this house, I wouldn't mind the least bit, as long as he fills my pockets with money. I'm sure even the children are already used to his absence and his presence makes no difference in their lives. I'm really in trouble with this situation, because I could not concentrate or move forward on the search for Muse.
Since Pen and I couldn't talk about our business at home, I pretended to go to the market and told George that Pen had to come with me.
"But honey, I can go with you. Why are you asking Pen? After all he did when I was away, it would be better if he rested and I took over, don't you think? not?" George replies.
"No sweetheart, with Pen I can spend a long time at the market without him complaining about it. He has known me since we were younger and he knows that I like to spend a lot of time at the market to choose as many items as possible, while with you you will not be able to be patient. I will last well in the market." I retort in order to discourage him, but it's like not knowing him well. Georges is the tenacious type and does not let go so easily. So he insists on saying
"Don't worry sweetheart. After spending all this time away from you and my children, I owe you that, right? Plus I can endure a few hours walking around the market with you after all the sacrifices you've made. consented when you were alone. So don't worry about me, because this leave allowed me to rest and recharge my batteries. I feel ready to spend the whole day and even the whole evening if necessary , with you to roam the shops and supermarkets of the market"
"Okay my love, but we'll go to the market next time. Because today, Pen has to drive me to his colleague's wife's store to buy some fabric. We had planned this outing at the advance and she gave us an appointment today. Thank you for your proposal anyway." I end up convincing him. He no longer retorts, but I can read the disappointment in his eyes.
Eventually, Pen and I head out, not to the market, but to one of my apartments where we used to meet before Pen came to live in our house. Arrived at the apartment, we spend a good part of legs in the air. It had been a very long time since we had jumped on each other because of my husband's presence at home. So we are hungry for each other. So we make love throughout the morning spent in this apartment.
"So what are we going to do to see each other without arousing your husband's suspicions, now that he's home all the time?" Pen asks me at the end of yet another series of legs in the air. We were lying in each other's arms, still breathless from the act.
"Believe me my love, I've been thinking about this for several days. This pot of glue from my husband is tiring me in the end. Why did he even have to be posted in this city? A real killjoy !" I respond angrily.
"I swear! And he likes to watch everything at home. I can't even kiss you lest he bump into us and find out the truth." Pen continues to complain.
"At this rate, we only have one solution left." I say in a resolute voice.
"Ah yes? What are you thinking?" He asks the question with a voice full of curiosity.
"You have to change house and very quickly. Georges will not be able to accept that you accompany me to the market every day, he will begin to suspect something between us and I can reassure you that he will not give himself up. rest until he finds out what it's all about. When we have to see each other and talk more often. At home, it's not possible. The only solution is for you to move from the house to come and occupy this apartment." I explain to Pen who listens to me without complaining.
"You are right my dear, I agree with you that this is the best thing to do about this situation. If we don't act quickly, our business will suffer. At the moment, we have no not yet found where Muse is hiding, or who it was who scared her away. We need to deal with these matters very quickly before it is too late." Pen adds by making me agree. He's really right. What I like about him is the fact that we are always on the same wavelength. We always get along wonderfully on almost any issue that comes our way. We have the same way of seeing and approaching them. I think Pen is the best partner I could have.
"You're right, sweetheart! Cécile has already sent me the images of this client who orchestrated Muse's escape. I don't know him, I've never seen him. prepare, because he attacked a bee's nest and I won't give much of his skin." I say staring into space, rage on my face.