Chapter 23

Maieil
Doctor Euniel and I go to the glacier after about thirty minutes of riding. During the whole trip, we chatted about a lot of stuff, but nothing personal. He is a very cultured and open-minded person. This is normal, since he studied in developed countries.
"Warning, I may be very open-minded, but I advocate certain values ​​and warts such as the Christian faith." He warns me seriously.
"It's very important. But how did you manage to have all this academic and professional background at such a young age?" I ask him with admiration in his eyes.
"I'm not that young my little one. I'm already 24." He replies as if he was quite old at this age.
"But you are very young for your doctoral course! For example, I am already 19 years old and I have not even passed my baccalaureate yet. I should pass it this year, but the circumstances have been unfavorable. "
"Each individual evolves according to his divine clock. I succeeded in the baccalaureate at the age of 14 after having skipped several classes during my primary and secondary cycle. Subsequently, I directly had a scholarship in medicines for the United States where I spent seven years. On my return, I set up a clinic thanks to my grant which financed everything and sought me partners at home and abroad. two years of hard and relentless work, I managed to impose the notoriety of my clinic on the national and international level." He tells me while I listen to him with admiration.
"You are a model doctor!" I conclude before we get out of the car to go to the glacier. He is content just to give me a smile that reveals the whiteness of his teeth, the teeth of which are quite attractive." Doctor Euniel parks his car in the parking lot, then he comes back to me and we enter the glacier.
After after sitting face to face, we each took a big pot of ice cream each. He was really right, because the ice cream they offer is very good.
"Thank you Doctor !" I tell him while savoring my tub of ice cream.
"Why is that?"
"For this treat. You were really right, they make good ice cream in this ice cream parlor. I think I'm going to bring Papa Hawam here one of these days." I answer between two mouthfuls of ice cream.
"I'm glad you like it. I don't know about you, but this outing does me a lot of good. I didn't know I was going to enjoy going out so much." He said looking me straight in the eyes. I just smile at his words, then lower my eyes to focus on my tub of ice cream. I think that's the only reaction I can have. I can't explain this feeling that his gaze on me gives rise to. I feel like there are butterflies fluttering in my abdomen.
I finish eating my ice cream staring at my tub of ice cream. I was afraid to look up at him again and feel that weird feeling he's creating in me. After finishing at the glacier, the doctor offers me a little walk in a place I don't know.
"I promise you, you won't be disappointed at all." He told me not without failing to lay his eyes endowed with power intensely on me.
"In that case, I trust you." I answer having really no choice. Looks like with just one look, he can get me anything he wants from me.
He drives for about forty minutes and eventually arrives at the edge of the beach. Wow, I'm really pleasantly surprised. I didn't know there were such beautiful places in this city. The doctor rushes out of the car and comes to open the car door for me and hurries me down.
"Hurry up, come quickly before the sun goes down. I'm going to show you something amazing!" He says to me in a hurry. I'm almost running. We arrive at an elevated spot on the beach. He helps me climb that big rock and points to the sea
"Look, admire for yourself this marvel of nature!" He said to me, making me look towards the body of water. It is one of the most magnificent sights in which I have ever been able to take part in all my life. The effect of the sunset results in the coloring of the water in an orange color which is magnificent to the sight. The sky above is drawn to perfection with a few clouds and the color scheme is just flawless. Everything is so beautiful to see that I am speechless.
"Wow!" I exclaim the stars shining in the eyes facing such a beautiful shot. It looked like images that only television has the gift of making us see.
"How beautiful nature is, isn't it?" He replies with wonder too.
"Yes, very beautiful! God is a great painter! This show is truly breathtaking!" I answer him with the same wonder. We stay in this place side by side until the sun disappears in its course and the darkness begins to spread. The doctor helps me down and we find ourselves at the bottom of the rock. We walk along the beach in silence. Our bodies brush against each other from time to time and I feel shivers in contact with the bare skin of his arm. The lightly blowing breeze brings from time to time the perfume of Doctor Euniel to my nostrils which take pleasure in smelling this exquisite scent to be distilled. He must really have taste by his way of putting himself on the physical side and by his perfume which smells very good. The coolness that emanates from the fine sand pleasantly tickles the soles of my feet, because I took off my shoes when I got out of the car. This moment is so peaceful and gives me pure happiness. I would enjoy staying there all my life. I also think it's one of the most beautiful feelings, not to say the most beautiful thing I've had to feel since I left my hometown to go to my uncle's. Savoring this quality moment, I whisper to the doctor with my heart swollen with gratitude
"Thank you Doctor !"
He stops and pushes me to do the same. I feel his piercing gaze on me, despite the darkness that prevents me from distinguishing him. Standing in the dark, he takes my hands in his then caresses them gently. I become tense at the effect this gesture has on me.
"It's me who thanks you Muse! Now I understand why I found going out before that day boring." He told me in a soft voice.
"Why did you find them boring?" I ask him the question in a trembling voice.
"Because going out without the right person becomes a bore."
I don't understand what he is implying with his words, but I know the way he says it and the feel of his eyes on me makes me shake like a leaf. I don't know what to say or how to react.
"Doctor..." I whisper without knowing what I really mean. I close my mouth after a few seconds, not finding the right words at this precise moment.
"Please Muse, call me Euniel, will you do me this favor?" He asks me in a voice so pleading and tender that I can't utter a single word. I feel my throat constrict with the weird sensation, then I just nod my head in agreement. I don't know if he saw that nod of my head in that dark, but that's all I can do. At the same time, I begin to have confidence in him and I feel the urge to tell him everything about my past which still haunts me.
"You are so delicious and beautiful my God!"
"I was raped." I say it on a whim, without thinking. He remains silent for a moment and I wonder inwardly what he is thinking.
"Do you want to tell me? Do you feel ready to confide in me?" He asks me in a voice imbued with great tenderness.
"Yes." I stammer, shaking my head. He invites me to sit down and does the same. There is a slight silence that follows, the time for me to swallow my saliva with difficulty and to take the strength to launch myself into this story which reminds me of melancholic and painful events.
"It was at my uncle's. His name is Pen, a real predator."
I embark on a long story marked by moments of pause during which I take the time to recover from my emotions and breathe to continue this story. At a certain moment, Euniel having realized that I was crying, surrounds my shoulders with his rather muscular arm to comfort me. He was patient and didn't interrupt me at all. He listened to me with all his attention and when I cried at certain moving parts of my story, he let me calm down to take it up again. Casually, I feel crazy to talk about it with him. He is not the first person to whom I tell this experience in my life, but talking about it with him produces quite different effects. I feel like relief as I move forward in my story. Is it because he's my psychologist? I cannot answer it. At the end of my story, he said to me, turning to me, his heavy gaze making me feel in the dark.
"I knew you were a brave woman, and what you just told me further supports that certainty."
"Thank you!" I answer shyly.
"Know that I am here from now on, I want to be there for you, to protect you." He said to me, releasing his hand which had remained on my shoulder. With the same hand, he delicately caresses my cheek with two of his fingers, then he continues this game of caressing to the level of my lips. He touches them with a finger, making me shudder at the same time. Then, unexpectedly, he bends down and kisses me with his soft lips. I don't think I had ever experienced such a moment of tenderness as tonight. Euniel is so gentle in his gestures and caresses. But before that kiss goes any further, I jerk away from him and turn around. I don't think I'm ready for that moment yet. Like a nightmare, I see the images of Pen on me as well as those of the hotel where a client wanted to abuse me. Decidedly, these memories are not ready to stop haunting me it seems.
"Forgive me Muse, I don't know what happened to me, I couldn't stop kissing you. It was stronger than me!" He rushes to come to me with incessant apologies. In reality, I don't know what I really feel. There's a whole catch-all in my head right now and all that comes to mind is asking him to take me home.
Doctor Euniel accepts without complaining and we go to his car in a most icy atmosphere. He opens the door for me and I sit in front while he walks around the car to sit behind the wheel. He drives on the field and takes the road back. The journey is made in the silence of a cemetery. So much the better, because my head is in the mood for Peter the smoke at the moment and I have no desire to inconvenience myself chatting. We arrive in front of the Hawam residence after about an hour's journey. Fortunately at this time of the evening, the traffic is clear because there is no traffic jam. Otherwise, this trip would have been more awkward when we got stuck in endless traffic without knowing what to say to each other.
Euniel gets out of the car and comes to my side to open the door for me. I go out to fall in front of him. With his athletic size, he blocks my way squarely and I have to look up at him.
"I'm sorry for what happened tonight! I promise you, I will do everything I can to prevent this from happening again." He profusely apologizes.
"It's nothing Euniel, thank you for this beautiful evening! It's just that I'm not ready to commit myself to this kind of thing yet. I hope you understand me?"
"Yes of course !" He hastens to answer then I turn away from him, taking the direction of the gate. The guard opens the gate for me as I take a last look at Euniel who has remained standing following me with his gaze. I disappear inside the large residence with emotions still very much alive. I walk at large in the vast courtyard until entering inside the house. I intend to go directly to my room without taking anything to eat. However, as I cross the living room, I come across my father who is sitting in front of the television.
"Good evening dad!" I throw him vaguely without stopping in my path.
"Come here young lady! Where do you plan to go without stopping?" He said to me, making me brake in my tracks. I have to come back to him. I take a seat on the same sofa where he is sitting. He stares at me for a long time as I stare blankly. We remain silent, only the voices coming from the TV echo in the room.
"Where are you from?" He asks me the question while at the same time breaking the silence that reigned between us.
"I went for a walk." I answer him by purposely omitting to mention Euniel's name.
"How's a walk and you come home at such a late hour? Outside is dangerous, especially for a young girl like you." He replies looking anxious.
"Don't worry dad, I know how to take care of myself. Besides, I wasn't far away. I really had to go out for a change of scenery and that helped me a lot."
"I'm glad to see that you're already better. Before, you didn't even want to go out in front of the gate. But if you decide to go out for a walk, that's already a good sign. However, this n It's not safe to go out alone. Next time, ask the driver to come with you, or you wait when I'm free, we'll go out together. I've been so worried about you. And you haven't even phone so that I can call you and know where you are." He says to me with the same anxious air.
"I'm sorry you had to worry. I promise next time I'll let you know what I'm doing." I promise him in a serious tone.
"Here's a cd that makes me happy!" He replies with a reassured air. Then, looking rather serious, he adds
"I have news to tell you."
The seriousness that comes from his voice scares me a little bit and I can't help but ask him the question with my heart beating wildly.
"Ah, so what is this news?"
"I have thought a lot since your arrival in my life. I consider you as a member of my family and therefore, I seek the best for you. And for this reason, I thought of enrolling you in the school since the holidays are over. School starts again in two weeks and I was able to realize that with your psychology sessions, you have been able to evolve considerably." He tells me while rejoicing. I was just thinking lately about how I was going to go to school and there, I am pleasantly surprised by this news.
"Thank you dad, that's very good news that you're telling me!" I respond with great enthusiasm.
"Yes, and that's not all." He adds, leading me to redouble my attention. I wonder what else he has to say to me. My eyes remain glued to him to follow what he will come out next. He turns silently to the other side of the chair where I am unsure. There's something in it that I realize when I see it, it's a cardboard folder. He hands it to me without saying a word. I take it from his hands with strong curiosity, then I ask him, staring at the document I'm holding.
"What is that ?"
"Open it and you will know."
I obey him and open the cardboard folder. I see a passport inside, then I look up at my father full of questions. He understands my incomprehension then tells me
"It's a passport as you guessed, and it's for you. You're going to continue your studies in Britain."
"Are you sure that's a good idea? Wouldn't it be better if I stayed with you?" I ask him in panic. Several questions come to my mind. What if I'm kidnapped one more time?
"My angel, do not be afraid. Among the whites, you will have the opportunity to have the best academic education that you could wish for, and security is preserved there. Believe me, changing your background and country will help you get much better and forget your trauma faster. The places there will make you think about your past much less. Okay?" He reassures me with his words and I answer less anxious
"Okay!"
I then go back to my room. I continue directly into the bathroom where I take a hot shower fairly quickly. After putting on my bathrobe, I throw myself on my cozy bed. My thoughts fly to the evening I spent with Euniel. How pleasant it was! But at the same time, fear grips my insides just thinking about this new feeling that arises in me when his eyes are on mine. I'm aware that he also feels things towards me, but it's all that that scares me. Could I one day have a normal romantic relationship like young girls my age without my dark past ruining everything? Euniel is a very good young man and I must also admit that since I have been around him, I feel more and more good. My nightmares have greatly diminished and I regain consciousness. However, it is not enough for me to allow love to interfere in my life. Instead, I need to focus on my recovery. I'm scared to death just thinking about being touched or groped by a man. At the end of the day, maybe that's the best solution my father has offered me tonight, to continue my studies abroad.