Chapter 36

Euniel
My feelings are so mixed. I don't know what to think of all this, much less how to react to it. At the same time I'm angry because I've spent my whole life in lies and falsehood. I always thought that my father was my parent. I was certainly sorry to see him so distant and indifferent towards me, but I had never pushed my thoughts, or even had any doubt that it was not he who fathered me. This feeling, of having the impression of having no roots, of being disconnected from one's origins, or even of being lost in the middle of an immense desert without knowing which destination I am going to take, it is what I'm feeling right now. However, in the midst of all this storm of negative emotions I can't help but feel an inexplicable joy deep inside me. It is as if a heavy burden had been lifted from my heart. Yes, this burden that I carried around from childhood to adulthood, which has tormented me all this time. I've always thought of myself as a good-for-nothing, as someone who doesn't deserve affection, not even that of my parents. Added to that, I didn't see myself fit to love either. I didn't want to love. Love was for me a very luxurious chimera which I could never access. Therefore, I could neither receive nor give. I blamed myself for being so horrible that I didn't deserve my mother's love. I felt like a monster because I thought I was a drag on others, a ticking time bomb that no one wanted in their path. Despite this well-being and my apparent success, I had never felt good about myself. I developed a complex. But what I have just learned is a great relief for me. From now on, I know that I deserve love, affection... I deserve that someone sacrifices themselves for me and not just anyone, but my mother. How I love that word! From the visceral hatred that reigned in my heart for her, a deep love was born on the spot. All I want right now is to see her, see what she looks like, take her in my arms and above all say thank you for her love and that I love her too. What is she going to tell me? Will she still love me? More importantly, will she be proud of me? Has she aged a lot? So many questions running through my mind.
And as if this happiness hadn't been enough, it also turns out that Monsieur Hawam is my father. How happy am I?! Learning on the same day that my mom and dad are different than I imagined?! It felt like I gained new parents. Like the joy that animates a child who has just won the gift of his dreams, that's what I feel right now. This man, although we did not know each other before, took me like a son from our first meeting. I always had to rely on him. He is always there for me, he listens to me and gives me advice in life. I look up to him a lot in the business world. Without knowing it, nature has brought us closer together. Nius loved us as father and son without knowing that we were in reality. If I had been asked to choose a father, I would have chosen no better than Mr. Hawam. He is everything that is admirable in a father and everything that a child can admire in a parent.
After this moment of emotion which prompted me to withdraw, Muse and I return to the garden where we left our father and Doctor Maurice sitting. However, we only find our father alone. After asking him where the doctor went, he replied that he had a last minute emergency and that he asked to leave. I understand that very well. He is on duty, so it is quite normal that he is called upon.
"So my son, are you happy to be a Hawam?" My father asks me with a wide smile on his face.
"Ah yes Sir... Uh... dad. Sorry, I'm not used to the name dad yet!" I reply by making us all laugh.
"It's normal my boy, this morning I was only for you Mr. Hawam. You'll get used to it over time."
"That's for sure! I'm happy to have a big brother like you Euniel!" Muse said with a jovial face.
"It is I who will never be able to say thank you enough to the Lord for all this blessing he has given me. I now understand that my meeting with Muse was not fortuitous. Everything had been planned for us to be able to meet again. And me who cursed God for taking my family. He now gives me two children, and what's more, a son and a daughter. Even in my wildest dreams, I would never have thought of living such a moment! Thanks my God!" Our voice says full of emotions. We are so moved that the three of us hug each other.
Since my mother didn't hesitate to sacrifice herself for me, I'm also going to reach out to her. She is certainly in trouble and I am the cause of all these troubles. Therefore, I will not sit idly by. Like Muse said, this pimping ring has to go down for my mother to be free. Muse and I having agreed, we decide to share it with us. Indeed, support from him will be of great weight. He listens to our complaint carefully, then he answers us
"I agree with you children. It's time to end this long-lasting charade. These people have already hurt the poor innocents enough as it is! They mustn't get away with this."
"That's for sure! But first of all, we have to put the dots on the i's and find a good plan of action. We have to be quite organized, because these mafiosi have long arms. Thanks to these long arms, they could harm us. We have to be smart enough to overthrow them." Muse intervenes.
"Exactly! Attacking the brothel will not be the solution. On the contrary, it would be like attacking a swarm of bees. The real danger lies at the head. Unfortunately, these people are hiding in the shadows and we have no no idea of ​​them. To annihilate this mafia, we are obliged to first find out who are the leaders who are hiding at the head of the brothel. Who has been piloting in the shadows all this time. is that at that moment we will see what strategy to adopt against them." Our father details his thoughts on the situation and puts us in agreement. However, I raise this question which is the Gordian knot of the problem which we are about to attack.
"So how do we get our hands on these people? If only we had even the faintest idea of ​​who they are! But we have no leads. Where do we start looking for them?"
"I have an idea! Why don't you go see your father and ask him if he knows the truth behind this whole story. After all, he owes you at least the truth! Because my little finger tells me that 'he knows everything and that he played a big role in this story. Muse offers.
"I totally agree with you girl!" Our father adds.
"If that's the only lead we have, I don't have much choice but to go and face him." I answer with not too much enthusiasm.
This proposal does not enchant me too much. My father, I have always considered him a ghost in my life. He was never there for me. He never tries to hear from me. Either way, I'm sure it doesn't give a fuck whether I'm alive or dead. His behavior is now fully explained. He knew very well that he was not my father, and it was for this reason that he never showed me a sign of love. Since I returned to the country at the end of my studies, I went to see my father only once. He lives in another city, about 500 km from this one. Every time he calls me or writes me a message, it's to ask me for money. However, I manage to leave him a fairly large sum of money in his account at the beginning of each month. However, I have never asked him to account for his management of this money. I always gave him the amount he asked for and even more.
I went home this evening with my mind not at all at peace. Going to face my father after all these years without having to share something as father and son, it's really difficult. Nevertheless, I am determined to go through with it. There must be an exploitation of what happened in my life. And if my dad can shed any light on that, I'll ask him. After all, he owes me this little favor after all these years of letting me live a lie.
So I decided to travel the following weekend. I will leave on Saturday very early in the morning. Friday evening, I was sitting in my living room, TV on but I was not at all focused on the program that was broadcast there. My mind was wandering here and there regarding recent events. Without knowing when she arrived, I hear Sandra's voice echoing in the room.
"Have you finally decided to come home?! I thought you were already living with that Muse?!" I look up and see her standing with her face tight. I had completely forgotten that one. With the latest discoveries, I didn't have the head to think about Sandra at all. Surely she must have felt aggrieved and relegated to the background. Especially since she kept calling me and sending me messages by phone.