Chapter 50

Euniel
I went home after the meeting straight away. I confess that I spent one of those most horrible nights. Why does such a thing happen to me? Moreover, just when I want to get together with Muse! I had dreamed of this moment so much, having Muse all to myself, kissing her without feeling like I was breaking a rule, holding her in my arms and walking around town with her, without be afraid of anyone or anything. But this news that Sandra has just given me, if it turns out to be true, will call into question a possible relationship between Muse and me. Finally, it seems like an impossible dream to be in a relationship with Muse. My childhood was traumatic for me and I swore to myself that I would never subject the fruit of my womb to what I went through. I swore to myself that I would always be there for my children, permanently. Having children from different mothers was never an option for me. If it turns out that Sandra is really pregnant with me, I will have to take her as my wife. My children will not have to go through what I went through in my childhood. I refuse to replicate that on them even a little bit. Living with different parents has a high risk of causing unbalanced children and that, I will never let that happen to one of my children. I don't want to take any risks when it comes to my children. At the moment, I can't tell Muse anything yet about Sandra's pregnancy. I'll wait until Monday to take her to the hospital for a pregnancy test. If it is positive, it is from there that I will be obliged to inform Muse of the decision that I will take. For now, I pray to God that Sandra isn't really pregnant. Otherwise, all my projects will be shattered.
On Monday morning, I brought Sandra to my hospital before she left for work. I handed her over to the care of Doctor Maurice to give her a pregnancy test.
"You can go to work, I'll take care of collecting the results of the pregnancy test." I tell her after the examination that the doctor performed on her.
"Okay my love !" She answered by saying goodbye to me.
Later in the day, I went to Doctor Maurice's office to take the result of the pregnancy test carried out on Sandra. I sit down in front of his desk, while he pulls out the envelope containing the results. A beat smile filled the doctor's face, then he said to me
"Congratulations my boy, you are going to be a father!"
I'm so disappointed with the result of the pregnancy test that the doctor can see the disappointment on my face.
"Thank you, Doctor Maurice!" I answer him without much enthusiasm.
"My son, what's going on? Why do you look like a funeral, when I just told you that your fiancée is pregnant? Isn't that what you wanted? And in more with the woman you love. Soon you will be married and you will form a very beautiful family!" The doctor resumed, not understanding my downcast look.
"Ah Doctor Maurice, to be honest with you, this child falls at a bad time and above all he comes through the wrong person." I tell him sadly.
"I don't understand your reaction my boy. Who else than Sandra, who is your fiancée and your future wife, is better suited to carry your child? Could you explain your reasoning to me, son?"
"Doctor, to tell you the truth, I had gone to Sandra's to end our engagement and that's where she informed me that she was expecting a child. Can you imagine my dismay?"
"Yes my boy, I understand your reaction better. However, I can't understand why you don't want to marry Sandra anymore. She's a young woman who seems likeable to me and she could make a good wife. What made you want to end your engagement?" Doctor Maurice asks me intrigued.
"Doctor, I agree with you that Sandra is a good woman. However, I don't love her. My heart belongs to another woman. I didn't make it." I tell the doctor who listens to me attentively.
"I see. However, does that other woman love you too? Who is she to monopolize your heart so much?"
"She's Muse, my father's daughter. We had met six years ago and immediately a mad love was born between her and me. However, Muse had just come out of a traumatic experience and she preferred to flee this relationship. But as soon as she returned, I had only one desire, to reconnect with our love, despite all these years spent far from each other. Muse is also on the same wavelength than me. We had agreed to get back together, until this news of Sandra's pregnancy hit me." I tell the doctor about the sad voice.
"Oh my boy, that's a very complicated situation there!" he exclaims with concern.
"I'm not telling you doctor! But I'm so sad about this pregnancy test result. It's coming to call everything into question and upset my plans."
"What are you going to do now?" He asks me curiously.
"There is only one thing to do doctor. I will assume this pregnancy and commit to marrying Sandra as soon as possible." I answer in a resolute tone.
"Why so? You just told me you don't love the mother, but you still plan to marry her? Isn't that a pretty crazy decision?" He replies intrigued.
"I know my decision may seem crazy, but I believe it's the best thing to do in this situation. I can't sacrifice my child's happiness." I declare the gaze lost in the void.
"But who is talking about sacrificing your child's happiness? You can still father a child and marry another woman. Many people do it and manage to maintain a perfect balance in the family." Doctor Maurice explains to me calmly.
"No doctor, I can't take that risk. There are a lot of unbalanced and unhappy children because they grew up split between two parents. I receive a lot of them in my office for consultations. Me- even, not having lived with my two parents and having suffered the indifference of my mother's companion, I cannot accept offering the same fate to the fruit of my womb. I want to reduce this probability as much as possible . I witnessed living without his parents next to me, and I swore to myself that never, my children will meet the same fate."
"And what about your love with Muse? Are you going to sacrifice it?" he asks me.
"Even though I'm in pain and will have to sacrifice my happiness forever, I will. This child is innocent and has done nothing to deserve an unhappy life." I affirm sure of myself.
"In that case, your decision is made and there is nothing we can do about it. However, the advice I could give you from my experiences in life is that it is very wrong to marry at a woman you don't love, because of the children. Believe me, in the majority of cases, the parents will end up very unhappy, which rubs off on the children as well. So, my boy, I will advise you better think before making any drastic decision." He advises me.
"Thank you doctor for your advice!"
"Please my son!"
I take my leave of the doctor. Despite his advice and the fact that I often resort to his advice, I cannot listen to him this time. I have already made my decision and on this question, it is unequivocal.