Unmended Heart

There was blood everywhere, he stood in the middle of it his heart beating as fast as he had when he'd first seen it, this reality of a dream that seemed to want to go on forever, unending punishment that he could not avoid and so here he was standing in a pool of her blood.
He reached out for her arm and she pulled back from him, her face turning murderous.
"I will never forgive you ," she cried blood running down it , he jerked awake halfway off his bed.
He ran his hands over his face, his clothes were soaked with sweat and sticking to him like wet tissue paper, it was not a very nice feeling not welcome at all but he would have to make do.
He looked around the room, Emily was not here of course she had not been here since their argument about the baby. How had he slept through the gnawing feeling her departure had left him with or the feeling of guilt at his omission from her about the child.
He looked to the bed table his heart sinking to his gut, he had a note, on his table, a note likely from Alpha Briar about the meeting he was supposed to be at.
Which he was late for which couldn't be anything good, he took it and glanced through it, it had only a small apology for the disturbance and a quick request for his appearance at court and he cursed.
He got out of bed dragged his shirt off and pulled on something immediately then he went to the door he pulled it open and there she was standing in the open door way waiting for him.
Emily.
He swallowed uncertain what to do now, she looked weary, why was she not resting did she like making him worried or was it that she didn't think of the consequences of her actions to herself or others before she did them.
Maybe it was the latter which he could accept as her being frivolous but somehow it didn't feel like either of the two.
He remembered their argument a few hours earlier, she had looked exhausted almost as much as he felt in that moment and frankly he was not ready to resume that argument again not now.
" Hey " he murmured, watching her from the door,she reached to him to try for a kiss but he pushed her away.
His chest burning with regret,
" Is that how it is now " she asked rage in her voice which soothed him almost as much as he wanted to soothe her,he had almost lost her, twice, the thought was numbing especially because he had wanted to mate with her but now he couldn't do that. He was not in the right frame of mind to do anything about her.
All he had the energy for right now was to keep putting one foot in front of the other and do his duty to his pack.
She took in a deep breath just as he was about to ask what was wrong she turned to him
" So your just going to ignore me" she said and he nodded, swallowing deeply
" I have work to do" " he muttered, knowing that could be the only reason why she was bringing halt this decision once and for.
She looked to him as if trying to guage his reaction and he wasn't sure what exactly his expression was saying but it likely wasn't something good
" You are really not going to talk to me, it's our baby.
We lost our baby and you don't think I deserve talking to" she tried but he didn't want to talk and so he didn't.
" Logan " she pleaded with him
" And you've been through this enough time and gotten nothing" he hissed she blinked at him as if he were the one insane as if she could not get why he couldn't get it,or understand her.
But he did in a way understand her, he just wasn't sure he was capable of doing anything about it, the fact that she had been exposed to such a dangerous person too many times to count and that was all his fault man and so the guilt rested with him.
She looked to him
" Emily we can beat it to death but it will not change the fact we lost. Now all I can do is try to save my home and my people " he huffed
" what does that mean" she asked , frowning and he scoffed,
" I think we both know what it means " he said
She looked to him and nodded
" That's fine, I am–" and he stopped her
" I'm late for a meeting, Emily I really have to go" he muttered and she laughed
" Of course go" she gestured to the hall, he nodded and walked into the hall, he had to find a way to save his home.
They would be expecting attacks from Finn soon which meant he needed to be prepared and taking back Wolf city was one of the important things now.
He couldn't be weak or let himself get swayed easily especially when he feared each day that she went to bed that she would be killed. He didn't want to think about it because of what it meant for us both but ignoring it was not easy either not when he knew with all his heart that letting it fester could destroy them, but that didn't matter at least not now.
He stalked into the room, it was silent but tense agitation trickling in through the cracks and he could feel it in the air when they moved
" what's going on" he asked as he dropped into a chair
" You were late " Alpha Briar said softly
" I'm here now what is the problem"
" We have trouble, there is a camps of ghouls about four miles north and six miles west," he sat frozen playing with his
" How do you know this" he asked and she grimaced
" A pack soldier from the watch caught sight of them we sent scouts to get more information, the war council is waiting on you" a general urged and he nodded.
He rose to his feet
" Then Finn is putting us on the defensive ," he grunted as he walked through the room
" What do you say we do" alpha Zavi finally murmured putting his input finally
" We need more men–" he said
Alpha Zavi waved an arm cutting them off his speech
" We know that but where do we get this men from" he mumbled and Logan ran his hands through his hair
" I need to go back to Wolf city, quell the resistance and bring some troops" he mumbled and got a sharp nod in return
" And how long will that take " she asked
" How long till Finn decides that he doesn't quite like us here" she muttered and he sighed
" We'll deal with it " he murmured, he turned to her and asked
"what are we dealing with" he asked and the General of the army rose , all the men represented here were men he knew, some from his father time as alpha and were all good men, a few of them were archaic in their beliefs having no room or tolerance for modern things but a few of them had changed with the times.
This war would need men willing to take leaps of faith and the beta general Colt was one of the level headed men, he was young compared to other's but he had just as much experience having been in the system since he had been in the system young
He was tall had a black beard that covered most of his mouth and chin and he rarely spoke except he was trying to get something out of someone
" We saw the camp right from when they started, we estimate over two hundred men werewolf, we saw about a few hundred ghouls, we are marking their position and when we sent a warning but they replied with this" he stilled handing over a paper, he took it and glanced to it
" One down many more to go " he read aloud then chuckled
" This is very amusing. " he asked and Alpha Briar nodded
" Yes I'm sure it is very interesting to think about but it's a major problem"
" Yes which brings us back to the problem of needing more men"
" What do we do from here " he asked crossing his palms across the table.
" We need the men, I can go to wolf city take it back and then bring men to you. I don't need too many of them just enough. I'm blood thirsty enough to do this" he offered and she nodded
The room filled with chatter immediately Logan massaged his forehead feeling lightheaded as they discussed, he closed his ears to them massaging his forehead, the door opened slowly and in walked someone, with a page in his hand, he leaned in whispering to beta Sia and handing her the note, she looked at it very briefly and then walked to him and handed it to him
He took the note from her and sighed as he read it.
It was a note from Emily , stating she was gone, she was through waiting for him, and his empty words, she wished him good luck.
He gulped immediately seized with the need to run to her but he stayed, what was the point it was not like he could give her what she wanted to stay. She was with Aspen and her brother and that should be enough for him.
" We will give you fifty men " Alpha Zavi said
" Are you listening to me " he hissed and Logan jerked
" I am, thank you" he muttered as he rose
" We'll leave tomorrow" he mumbled and walked out the door.


Logan was dreaming again, it was not a small dream and it definitely was not a good one. There was blood and smoke and chaos. So much death, too much death.
He saw Emily warm like a shadow falling down on him and then she disappeared instead something in her place diving at him from the sky at alarming speed, it was already too close and he couldn't escape it, and just as hit him, he jerked awake with a gasp.