Chapter 40

Pixie

I had to turn my head to keep from tearing up. After I gather myself I turn back to them. “ But Dax, you gave up so much of your life to be with me.” I said. Casper shakes his head “ I didn’t give up anything. I lead the life I wanted. I just brought you along with me. I wasn’t going to be around anyone who didn’t accept you. I would do the same for Nixon.” How does he know the right thing to say all the time?

“ What about the Devils? Did you ask them to put up with me? Is Rocket and Ice just being nice because I’m your kid sister?” I asked. I have always wondered about that. Even before this news came out. If the club was just tolerating me because of Casper. Viper starts laughing and shaking his head. But before I can ask what is so funny Casper answers “ No, Sabine. They don’t tolerate you because of me. All I did was ask for you to come to the club. Everything else was all you. You won them over by yourself from the first time I brought you to the club.”

Viper is still laughing and nodding his head. “ Ethan, what the hell is so funny?” I asked, getting a little irritated. “ I’m sorry baby. I didn’t mean to laugh. I was agreeing with Casper and remembering the story Stone told me about how he met you.” I think back to that day and hide my face in my hands embarrassed. Casper starts laughing. Poor Goof looks lost and Casper tells him the story. Now Goof is cracking up. “ Pocket from the little time I have been around you, I have no doubt you won everyone over. You need no help in that department.” Goof said.
It is nice to know that the people in both clubs like me for me and not because they think they have to.Now I need to ask Casper some harder and possible hurtful questions. I took a couple more bites knowing Casper wouldn’t answer unless I did. “ Dax, did she want me at all?” I managed to choke out. “ Did Melinda care about me? Even a little?” “ Sabine, mom cared about you enough to stay clean while she was pregnant. She cared enough to pump breast milk for you for the first month. She also cared enough to give you to your dad because she knew there was no way she would be able to take care of you and give you the life you deserved.” Casper said.

“ But I’m sure my dad would have helped her if she wanted to keep me. Like child support.” I said. “ I’m sorry. I can’t answer that one. That is one to ask your parents. I just know about the final arrangements. I don’t know if they discussed other options. I will tell you I did offer to get a job to help out mom if she wanted to keep you. She told me the deal was already done. I know you and your mom have had problems over the years. I’m sure you understand why now. But you had a much better life than mom or I could have given you.” Casper told me.

“ Casper, it sounds like you wanted me more than Melinda did. It comes down to the fact that I wasn’t wanted. It sounds like she couldn’t wait to hand me off and forget about me. Like I wasn’t worth her time. Melinda couldn’t wait to get rid of the evidence of her fling with a married man. Did she even check on me over the years? Did she see how good I turned out? ” I questioned. “ Hell, I don’t even know if I look like her? She was so close but I never met her.” I was close to tears at this point.

Casper jumps up from his chair, pulls mine out and gets down on his knees. “ Mom knew everything about her because I told her everything. She knew I was keeping you close and never made the effort to stop me. I would show her the pictures I had taken. She knew about all your competitions and your accomplishments. I know she was proud of you because she would smile and say that she knew she did the right thing letting your dad raise you. You know she battled with drugs. She would never be able to give you what your parents did. I think in her own way she did love you.” he said.

“ But no matter how you came about. You have been and will always be wanted. By me, Nixon, the Devils. Hell, even this asshole wants you so much he married you.” Casper said, pointing to Viper. Viper nods and says “ Yep, I did. And I don’t regret it for one second.” I smile at him even though I’m losing the fight with the tears. “ Pocket, I think it is safe to say the Renegades want you too.” Goof said. I wipe my eyes “ Thank you Goof. That is sweet of you to say.” “ Just speaking the truth.” Goof said.

“ Sabine, I know everything you have ever known has been turned upside down. But I want you to remember one thing. You are definitely loved and wanted. Nixon and I will always be here no matter what happens.” Casper says. I wrap my arms around him and cry a little on his shoulder. He rubs my back and lets me do it. It wasn’t the first time. And probably won’t be the last. When I let it all out I pull back “ I love you too, big brother.” I whispered. Casper is right. No matter what happened with my parents, both sets of them Casper and Nixon have always been there. I can count on them no matter what.