Chapter 48

Pixie

Viper watches me for a minute to make sure. He turns his head to my hand and kisses my palm before returning to his seat. I look around and see everyone staring at me. “ I’m good, I promise.” I said. Goof looks so scared. I lay my hand on his. “ I’m good. As far as dessert goes, I made Merigold’s double chocolate brownies for you guys. I have a different dessert in mind for myself.” Viper chuckles at the look on Goof’s face when he catches on to what I was saying.

“ Hell Pocket, I didn’t need to know that.” Goof laughs. Nixon and Casper look everywhere else but me. I threw a piece of bread in their direction.” I have heard worse out of both of you so don’t even try it. I have said worse to Rocket. So don’t start.” Casper grabs the bread and says “ Love you sis.” before shoving in his mouth. I laugh “ I love you too.”

I look at my parents who have been watching the whole interaction. “ Problem?” I asked. Mom shakes her head no. Dad smiles “ No problem. Just enjoying watching you three. Some things never change.” Then he looks over at Viper and says “ And some things do. For the better.” Dad looks at me “ Sabine, You are right. I have no place to say a word about your relationship. I should have trusted your judgment. Hell, sometimes I think you are smarter than all of us.” Where is he going with this I wonder? We were supposed to be talking about the cluster fuck they did.

“ Sabine, I messed up. With my wife. With you. Hell, even with your brother’s. I should have never demanded them to keep that secret. Hell, we should never have kept it from you for so long.” dad said. I take a bite of my food and don’t say anything. I think he needs to unload and I’m going to let him. I’ll ask my questions when he is done. “ I want to say I made a mistake when I cheated on my wife. I do. And as much as it hurts her to hear me say this. I can’t and won’t say it was a mistake. Because if I did it is like me saying you were a mistake. When you aren’t. You will never be a mistake in my eyes. You will always be my little girl.” dad said, his voice shaking.

“ Would I ever do it again? Hell,no. But I refuse to regret you, princess. No matter who it hurts. Did we handle everything wrong? Probably. But you have to know at the time we thought we were doing what was best for you. Melinda knew she wouldn’t be able to raise you right. She was struggling with drugs and Casper. But I didn’t like the idea of putting you up for adoption. Of never seeing you. So I made a selfish decision. I begged and pleaded with my wife to raise a child that wasn’t hers. I knew she was unhappy about it but she did it for me. I didn’t realize that one mistake I made would affect so many lives for so long. But even after all of that I still won’t think of you as a mistake.” Dad said.

I was going to ask a few questions but mom said “ I did it because despite what your father had done I still loved him with all my heart. And I thought I could love you the same. I did try but part of me always held back. I couldn’t love you the way I love my own son. But I never thought you were aware of it. No child should feel the way I made you feel. And I will have to live with my shortcomings and how they affected you for the rest of my life.”

I lay my hand on the table and tap my fingers. My parents, Casper and Nixon know it is a sign I’m thinking. I have lots of questions but one pushes to mind. “ What about grandchildren?” I asked. Dad looks confused. Mom asks “ What do you mean?” “ Will my children be treated differently than Nixon’s?” I asked. Dad looks like I just punched him in the gut. “ No. Why would you ask that?” he said. I point to mom “ She just said she couldn’t love me the way a parent should. What’s to say my children will be treated the same way. That because they aren’t her flesh and blood grandkids she won’t treat them differently. They won’t have to watch their cousins get the cool new presents on birthdays and christmases while they get the hand me downs. They have to ask me why grandma doesn’t go to their games or plays when she never misses their cousins.”

“ I’m not sure how to answer that. I would like to think I would be a good grandma to your kids. I will try my best but I don’t know for sure.” Mom said. Nixon slaps his hand on the table “ Wow mom. I never knew you were such a cold heart bitch.” “ Nixon, don’t talk to your mom that way.” dad snapped. “ No dad. I think I will. I have kept my mouth shut for too long. She just admitted she didn’t love Sabine as a daughter because she was her flesh and blood and the same may happen to Sabine’s kids. You fucked up dad. We get it. Sabine isn’t my full sister but I love her as one. So does Casper. Hell all of the Devils do and several of the Renegades and there is no blood relation there but mom can’t forgive you long enough to give love to an innocent child.”Nixon said.

I hold my hand up for everyone to stop. “ Karen, I will save you the trouble. Thank you for raising me. Thank you for making sure all my needs were met and that I was healthy. Thank you for your sacrifice. But I won’t subject my children to you on the off chance you might be able to love them. If dad wants to see mine and Viper’s kids he can but not you.” I said. “ Of course I want to see my grandkids. All of them. What are you pregnant?” dad suddenly asks. Everyone looks at me. I shake my head “ No. At least I don’t think so. Viper and I haven’t discussed having kids. But you know I have always said I wanted one or two. And if Viper shares my dream we will figure it out. But I needed to know.” Viper grabs my hand and is smiling. “ We can have as many as you want when you are ready.” he says, before kissing my cheek. “ I love you. With all my heart.” he says. “ I love you too.” I said.

I was ready for this night to be over. I looked at my dad. “ Daddy, I’m not ready to forgive, yet. I need some time. But I understand more why you did what you did. I still want you in my life and any future children I may have. But if you want to see me you might want to leave Karen at home. She has made it clear where she stands and I won’t ask her to be around me anymore than she already has.” I said. “ I hope one day you can forgive my dad before it eats a black hole in you. Remember forgiveness isn’t for him it is for you. So you can move on.” I said to Karen.

Dad gets up from his chair and comes over to me. I stand as well. He pulls me in a hug. “ I will always love you, princess. Thank you for forgiving me. I’m going to leave now. But you call me when you are ready.” he says. I hug him back and say “ I will. I love you too, daddy.” Then dad turns to Viper. I tense and Casper and Nixon stand. This could be bad. Dad holds out his hand. “ I trust my daughter. And judging by the way my son and a man I see as a second son are standing up for you I’m going to assume you are a good man. Just take care of my little girl.” he said.

Viper shakes dad’s hand and says “ I will sir. And thank you for cheating on your wife.” My jaw drops. Dad is speechless. Nixon and Casper are shocked. Goof looks like he is trying not to laugh and Karen gasps. “ If you hadn’t I would have this amazing woman as my wife.” Viper continues. I lose it and double over laughing. Goof, Nixon, Casper and my dad follow.