Chapter 20 Pain

(The Rogue Lord POV)

I was in so much pain. The silver in my back was hissing deep inside. I could feel it with every breath I took. I needed someone to take it out before it killed me.

"Sire, hold still. I will make an incision to make the puncture wound bigger so I can find the piece of silver lodged in your back. I will give you an anesthetic to dull the pain," my butler said.

"Make it quick! It burns!" I groaned in agony.

Damn you to the burning gates of hell, daughter of Adella. Moon Goddess, you are one sick bitch. I have to live as a monster for eternity and now this?! A wolf with silver teeth! I have never felt such pain before. Only when Julia died. It was like someone took my heart in his hands and squeezed it in my chest.

Julia was the perfect mate. Small and quiet. Content with what she had. I was Beta to Alpha Brandt. Davis and I grew up together. Did everything together. There was no one in the pack who could separate us. His parents were my parents and my parents were his. We even wore the same shoes, used the same backpacks for school. The only time we were separated was when he went to University and I stayed and went to the local community college. Even then, every time Davis came home, we were inseparable. Like two peas in a pod.

After we graduated, his father sent him to Canada to form an alliance with the packs in that region. He was a new Alpha and wanted to make his father proud. He made me stay in the territory to keep watch over the lands while he was gone. I was good friends with Alpha Howard Ulrich of the neighboring pack. They were a strong pack, made of well trained warriors. They were also the richest pack in the state. Alpha Howard had made it his priority to create business opportunities for our pack so we could be self-sufficient. He was a good man.

When Davis returned home from Canada, he came with four women. Adella, his fated mate and three other young Priestesses. Adella was beautiful. She was a tall woman, with pearl-like skin and pale blonde, almost white, long hair that flowed as she moved. She moved with grace and walked like she was floating on air. When she spoke, her voice was like a lullaby. Her golden eyes could calm anyone who stared into them. When she was presented as our new Luna, I saw the desire and jealousy of the men in the pack. I knew what most of them were thinking. Such a beautiful creature was mated to a spoiled brat of an Alpha. I would know. I was his bestfriend.

Her sister, Cecilia, was the direct opposite, still a beauty in her own right. She was a short woman with brown hair and chestnut colored eyes. She was more serious. Spoke like she meant business and was always, always saying "never to waste time." I rarely saw her but, when I did, it was because of something important. She had a way of turning up at the perfect time when you needed her most. She mated with one of my men, Bruno, who also liked to make himself scarce when it was convenient. They definitely suited each other.

Diane, she was the shy one. She was orphaned at a young age when her parents were killed by rogues. Dark hair and crystal blue eyes. She would always stay in the back. She didn't like any of the attention. Well, until she met Howard. Adella was so pleased with their union. This merged the two packs in an unspoken alliance.

And there was my Julia. The first time I saw her, I knew, she was mine. She had golden blonde hair that sparkled in the sun. She had eyes that changed depending on her mood, blue eyes when she was happy, green eyes when she was mad. She had the gift of the elements just like Adella. Unlike my Julia, Adella had already mastered to control the elements with a swish of her hand. Even then, Julia helped Adella provide a bountiful harvest. Adella was rarely seen without Julia by her side.

Julia and I mated on the Autumn Equinox. She, the sun. I, the moon. Equals. It was a simple ceremony. Davis was happy with our union. Adella, on the other hand, I could sense she didn't feel as strongly as Davis. Her golden eyes would flicker with pain even regret when she looked at Julia and I.

Adella and Davis, as time passed became stronger, as well as our pack. Davis, with the help of Howard, was learning how to invest money so the generations of Brandt's to come could live comfortably and the future of our pack would be secured. He and Adella always made trips to see the High Elder who became a close friend of theirs. It was rumored they would soon become the richest even toppling the Hemmings who were known to be the richest among wolves.

Adella, because of her control of the elements and her gift of life, made trees and shrubs bear fruit all year round. She could help animals and people with injuries. Conjure a ravaging storm if she wanted with a flick of her wrist. She was powerful and those who wanted her help paid dearly for her services.

When Diane gave birth to her two pups, Alexander and Amanda, I felt I was ready to make a family. I asked Julia to come have a picnic with me in our favorite spot in the meadow and asked her if we could start a family. She looked at me with those happy dark blue eyes of hers and said yes. We mated under the sun, then again under the moon. As we lay down, naked underneath the night sky, I looked up at the moon and whispered to the Moon Goddess to bless us with child.

The Moon Goddess heard my prayer. We were pregnant. All throughout her pregnancy, Julia's eyes stayed dark blue. She had this calmness around her like having a pup was the most natural thing to be doing. I showered her with gifts making sure she had everything she wanted. I finished the construction of our new home and we moved in delighted we can start furnishing the nursery together. It was suppose to be the beginning of our happy life as a family.

Adella would come visit Julia often during her pregnancy and leave with sadness in her eyes. I think Adella was jealous we were pregnant while she had problems conceiving. Davis was already being asked to provide an heir by his father. Adella with her many gifts and she couldn't do one thing...conceive.

I closed my eyes as I felt the forceps try to dig out the silver from my back. The silver was still sizzling inside me. If my butler does not extract the silver out, it will burn through my lungs and I will surely die. I will not let the Moon Goddess or Adella win! I needed to stay alive so I could kill the daughter of Adella and have the last laugh!

I growled. I thought time heals all wounds. Why not mine? The hole Julia left in the middle of my chest when she died is still there. Why did you have to take Julia from me, Moon Goodess? Why did it have to be through my son?

Julia was in labor for 8 hours. Her screams as each contraction came was like a silver dagger stabbing me, slowly killing me. Why did it have to be so painful for her? I mind linked Davis and asked for the Pack Doctor and Adella to come see Julia. I said there's something wrong.

"Ethan, darling, it is time. Please, take care of our son. Promise me." I gently wiped the sweat from her face. She was in so much pain.

"What do you mean, love? WE'RE going to take care of our son. It will be okay. Adella and the doctor are coming to help you."

"The Moon Goddess has whispered to me, my love. I knew even before you asked me if I wanted to have a family. I just want you to be happy Ethan. Don't cry my love. When you look at our son, you will see me." What was she talking about? She sounded as if she was dying.

Adella comes barging in with the doctor. Julia smiles at them weakly with tears in her eyes. Adella holds her hand while the doctor instructs her to push. Julia,,with all her might, gives out one massive push. The doctor cuts the umbilical cord, cleans him up and we hear the cry of our son. Adella stands up and caresses my son's head. "Julia, he is so beautiful," she said. Julia smiles one last time at us then her head drops on the bed.

Adella rushes to the side of her friend, raises her hand in the sky and tries to harvest the moonlight for Julia. Nothing happens. She does it again. Same, nothing happens. She wails to the sky, "Moon Goddess, let me heal my friend." She stops for a moment, listening to the silence. She turns to me, "I'm so sorry, Ethan. Julia sends her goodbyes." She starts sobbing. I couldn't move. The pain in my chest was paralysing.

The doctor wraps my son in a blanket and hands him to me. I look down at him. I see his dark blue eyes. I feel the grip in my chest. Julia is gone and it's all your fault!

I run out with my son in my arms to our favorite spot in the meadows. I looked up to the Moon, "This pup is not a blessing, but a CURSE! He is the reason my mate is dead! I SENTENCE HIM TO DEATH!" I shifted into my wolf form, took my son, in between my teeth, and bit through him, tearing him apart.

To this day, I can still taste my son's rotting blood in my mouth. The Moon Goddess made sure I would remember that day for the rest of my miserable life.

"Sire, I have pulled it out. It's a silver fang," my butler shows me the silver tooth of the wolf of the daughter of Adella.

"Stitch me up and leave me." My butler nods his head and proceeds to stitch me up.

I am coming for you, daughter of Adella. Not even your Alpha mate will keep me from killing you.