Chapter 36: Play with my hair

"Was she going to die?" Luciana kept on reading the information telling her that the brain tumor could get severe to a point and lead to death, "I don't want to die...," She kept on muttering it amidst low sobs which began to turn to a river of tears. Luciana could bet that her lacrimal gland was not doing a good job keeping the pain inside, as it released the tears in large masses like it was poured out of a bucket that had its source directly from a stream.
"No..., I don't want all of this. I hate this pain. This feeling is terrible," Luciana kept on telling herself, hoping that all of it will disappear. She remembered her doctor's words, "there's a 98% chance of survival and we're expecting a positive result from yours," that was the exact thing she was told. Her guidance counselor, Miss Selene did a good job explaining it to her too. But a huge part of how felt it was all tales and the story might be a different one.
Luciana raised her hands to her ears, screaming at top of her lungs, with her knees falling to the floors and her head facing down, "I hate all of this," she yelled. Watery masses of sobs began to wet her skin and circles began to form underneath her eyes. She was certain she was experiencing a major part of the effects, so how was she going to believe that there was hope.
The headache she experienced as a result of the pain did not just crawl playfully, but it creeped into her soul, hurting every part of her and making her feel terrible. She felt nauseous unnecessary, feelings she couldn't explain and then they were telling her that she was going to survive it, "how? Just how?" She screamed at top of her lungs, palming her face. The weakness she felt pushed her off the position she was in, and she let her upper body fall back to the couch and sat completely on the floor wailing into her face that was buried on the couch.
She poured out all her heart's contents with the tears, occasionally muttering out the words, "I don't want to die." Luciana kept on wailing that she forgot her environment and everything surrounding her. To her, she was alone in the world of sorrow she was immersed in and nothing else mattered.
She was so unconcerned about her surroundings that she was not able to detect the vibrations from her phone that kept on blaring on and on. Luciana sadly was in a very terrible state of emotion, and the caller who happened to be Jessie had no idea about it.
Jessie moved to and fro, pacing about Charles's room. Charles had just told her that he wanted her to spend the night at his place, so she decided to check on Luciana to inform her. Her troubled mind kept on panting and the only thing that stopped her from leaving there was the fact that Charles did not want to let her go.
"She is fine, I'm sure you are just stressing about it," Charles repeated and Jessie turned staring at his face, trying to see if she could hold on to his words.
"I promise you, Jessica, she is fine. I'm sure nobody kidnapped it," he assured her again, stressing on the Kidnap, and Jessie finally went to sit on the bed. The only reason she became a little bit calm, was the assurances Charles was giving to her and the fact that there was no bad feeling about anything, stuck in her heart.
"Just come lay beside me," Charles said and Jessie turned her face to him, staring keenly.
She managed to carry herself to Charles, laying just beside him. The emotion that filled her heart was no longer that of Luciana, but the anxiety that comes with laying close to Charles. Jessie inhaled a deep breath then turned to him, "Luciana will be fine, right?"
"Yes she will," he replied, nodding in response.
"I will just send a text to her, I guess she slept off," Jessie babbled and picked up her phone.
Satisfied with the context of her text that read, "sweet rose, once again I will be spending the night at Charles's place. I guess you slept off, take care." She tapped on the send button and the message went right to Luciana's phone while she was still bottled in her pain.
The distinct thing about what Luciana felt, was that it was worsening the more she wanted to wash it out. Her tears did not just increase the hollow she felt emotionally, but it was also adding physical pains to her. Crying increased the tension in her nerves, causing more head pains, making it wax more strongly while she kept on going down the drain, bit by bit.
Jessie finally let go of her phone and moved a little bit away from Charles, trying to increase the distance between them.
"So you actually think this will help?" Charles said, raising his brows in inquiry.
"I don't know, anything that can save me from your stares on my skin," she replied and Charles grinned in response to her statement. She sure had a good sense of humor and he was loving just that.
Jessie could feel his lustful gaze on her skin, and she felt so uncomfortable with it. She wanted to relax in his presence, but it was harder than she thought. Just as she kept on wishing he takes his eyes away from her skin, he took off his gaze from her, and turned towards the open sky, viewing through the skylight rooftop.
For some time now, he had fought the urge he always had, and he no longer found Rebecca interesting to satisfy him. Jessie was the new girl in his life, and he was doing his best to not feel anything for her, even though it didn't feel like it was working. When he told her to stay with him, he was just feeling a little bit lonely and he believed her company will do. Who knew he was now not going to fight off just the loneliness, but the urge also?
Charles's wandering mind ran back to the picture, and he asked, "the painting you made, did you grow up in that environment?"
Jessie released a smiled and turned to face him, "well, not really but I have few memories there."
"Okay," he declared and turned his stare back up, not wanting to intrude so much into her life.
The loneliness he felt three years back, struck again and his inability to control his emotions took him to Jessie, holding her in a warm embrace.
"Play with my hair, I don't feel good." Jessie who was trying to recover from the shock of the embrace only got more surprised at what he said, and she faced him, wide-eyed, staring intently.