Chapter 26

I sat in the passenger seat of my sister's car as she came to a stop. My heart twisted as I seen all of the people standing in front of the funeral home.

Most of them were women that I didn't know, even a few men I have never seen before.

Thise must be people he had hooked up with while we were married.

"Hey.." Bailey reached for my hand and grasped it in hers. "We don't have to go inside. Mom and dad has everything here under control."

I looked over at her and gave her a meek smile. "How would it look if Ryan Dale's wife didn't show up to his funeral? I'd be the talk of the entire town if I didn't go in." She tightened her hold on my hand and nodded.

"Okay!" She looked over at the people who stood outside of the funeral home. "Daddy Wyatt said he can keep the humans out, but the wolves he has no power over." I let out a huge breath before undoing my seatbelt.

"And mom has a small family only service for the baby." I halted when she said that. I didn't want a funeral for her, it would only mean that she really was gone.

I shook off my emotions and opened the door. I could see Scott standing by the entrance, his face void of emotion, just like when I met him. His hands were behind his back as he stood in front of the doors. He only moved out of the way when dad gave the okay for certian people to enter.

Bailey linked her arm through mine and patted my hand soothingly.  "You know... I can smell him on you!" My cheeks began to flame up, I have to make Scott wear protection from now on. I didn't want the people in the pack to think I was cheating on Ryan while we were still married.

As we walked past the dozens of people, I could hear alot of the girls snickering, the men looked at me with sympathetic looks. My heart will move past this horrible chapter in my life, I was just praying it would all be over just as quickly as Ryan died.

"I can curse them, make them all have upset stomachs for weeks if you want?" I looked over at Bailey, she glanced behind us with a snarl on her face. "That isn't necessary." I told her softly.

She looked back at me and nodded her head. Bailey stopped as we got to the door and turned me to her. "Before we go in, Ryan's family is in there. I know your heart isn't in the right place, but don't pretend to be anything you aren't. And if you do decide to cry, do it for you, not for them."

My dad looked at me and gave a subtle nod to what Bailey just told me. I knew I loved Ryan, but was I still 'in love' with him...I don't know anymore.

I gave Bailey a single nod and she turned and faced Sscott. "It's nice to see you again, Scott. Tyler misses you by the way." I felt warmth creep up into my heart, I knew my nephew missed me but I had no clue he had grown attached to Scott aswell.

"Bring him by anytime and I'll watch him for you and Evan." He gave her a small smile, then looked over at me with a smirk forming on his face. "Amoureux!" I blushed and looked down at my feet.

Scott moved aside and Bailey pulled me into the building. "The seating arrangements are weird, but I think that's Mr. Dale's doing. He has his family at the front and you further back."

"What? Why?" I asked her with a confused look on my face. "Ryan, was my husband, if anyone sits at the front it should be me."

She nodded in agreement. "He is terrified of you, Brooke. What you did the last time he came over has him crawling the walls to get away from you."1

As we walked in the area for the funeral, I couldn't help but feel the walls begin closing in on me, at the front of the room sat a casket with a podium not to far from it. A huge picture of Ryan was sat on display, the picture had not just him in it, he was with me at our wedding.

"I need a minute." I whispered and removed my arm atom Bailey's hold and walked out of the room heading for the restroom.

I suddenly felt nauseated by just being here. I know everybody deserved a funeral no matter how horrible they were, but in my heart Ryan didn't deserve one. Not after what he did in his final moments.

I opened up the restroom door, thanking the heavens above that it was empty. I went into the handicap stall and locked the door behind me.

I ran my hands down my face and slid to the floor.

I can do this.

I've been pretending to be happy for 3 years now, a couple more hours of pretening to be the doting wife who is devastated that her husband died in a 'car accident' wasn't too hard to do, right?

I heard the bathroom door open and Zena perked up a little when she realized it was our brother. Zachary and Levi had a similar scent but Jordan's was different.

I knew instantly that this wasn't Levi or Jordan. Zachary was always the one who knew when I was upset, he and Bailey were hot headed, but Zachary wasn't as bad as Bailey, but he knew me better than everyone else.

I seen his feet in front of the door, and without saying a word he got down and laid on the bathroom floor, and smiled at me. "Why are you hiding in the bathroom?" He proped his head up on his hands and crossed his legs behind him.

I sighed and looked away from him. "I felt a bit anxious, looking at the picture of me and Ryan, it was a little too much." I knew in my heart the picture was put up just for show, but how was I supposed to react?

I know I still loved him, but that love I had for him was slowly dwindling away to nothing the more I was around Scott.

I felt a hand on my knee and that's when I realized that my brother had crawled his way into the stall and sat next to me.

"We're only here for an hour before he goes back to the Crystal Pack to be buried with his family." I looked at Zachary and nodded my head.

I could do this, I was the daughter of Clara and Wyatt, former Alpha and Luna of the strongest pack on the eastern side of America.

"Here, I know this will help calm your nerves some." I looked over at him again and seen him pull out a cookie that was in a snack sized baggie.

"You know you aren't helping with me staying sober." I teased him and he chuckled. "It's just a cookie.... with some marijuana mixed in it." He held it out for me and I eyed it, was I suppoed to ear the whole thing or just half?

My wolf told me to just eat the whole thing, I shook my head at her and took the cookie from my brother. "It smells strong." I mumbled and my brother nodded his head.

"It is, but I like it when you are calm and not riddled with anxiety." He pulled me into his side, I took a bite of the delicious cookie and had to hold back from moaning at how good it tasted.

"Did Bailey make these?" I asked him taking another bite.

I felt him nod his head, I offered him a peice and he took it from me with a low chuckle. "If mom gets on to me she can get on to you too." I told him and he choked some as he ate the piece i gave him.

"Amoureux, it's time. The service it about to start." Scott said through the link and I suddered hearing his voice in my head. I stuffed the last bite into my mouth and stood up.

Me and Zachary walked out of the bathroom together and back into the room that was filled with mine and Ryan's family.

My dad came over to me and took my hand, leading me over to the front of the room. I'm sure he didn't care about the seating a tangent. He sat with me on the pew, then took in a deep breath and he laughed quietly. "I see your brother hooked you up."

My face heated when he said that. Before I could answer somebody sat on my other side, looking over i seen it was Scott. He gave me a subtle nod and I smiled at him.

The service dragged on for a while and I was already starting to feel the numbing effects of the marijuana from the edible Zachary gave me.

"Would Mr. Dale's wife like to say a few words before we close the service?" My eyes locked with the woman standing at the podium. I coukd feel everyone's eyes on me too. I cowered back some and sighed to myself. I let go of my dad's hand and stood up from my seat.

I walked over to the podium, the lady gave me a sympathetic smile as she backed away from where she was standing. As i turned to face the crowd of people, I could feel the burning gaze of Ryan's dad and his uncle's and cousins as I stood there.

"When I met him for the first time I was so elated that I'd finaly found someone to call mine." I smiled as I remembered the day he and I met.

"I was at the park with my Uncle Damien and his husband." I looked up and seen them both smiling at me from where they sat in the middle of everyone. "I know for me it was love at first sight, I don't know how Ryan felt but i know he loved me as much as I did him....."

"....at first that is!" I said quietly.

I heard low whispering after I said that. My heart was racing and it was a little hard to keep standing up there. "After we got married, I found out that Ryan had cheated on me. When I confronted him, he hit me..." I looked over at his dad, his gaze softened at little but I could tell he was very angry

"So for the past 3 years I had had to endure the pain of my own husband sleeping around on me, I couldn't do anything to stop him from doing it so I moved out and sold our home then moved in with my sister." I wasn't going to tell them about me being locked in the basement for a week while he slept with somebody everyday I was down there.

"And now that he is dead...I don't know how to feel about it." I felt a tear slip from my eye. "Everything I do now is to distract me from the fact that things aren't fine, every waking day is finding a distraction, that can carry me through the day until I wake up and have to do it all again."

My heart was breaking as I spoke and I couldn't stop the emotions that began to fill me up. "I feel so disconnected with everything, it's almost like I'm not even here anymore....and I'm just trying my best to make sure I don't drown in this pain that Ryan has inflicted on me."

I let out a sob as I looked over at the casket. Ryan's face was as plain as it always was. His face was pale and I hated him so much for putting me through the turmoil i was now feelimg.

I cleared my throat and looked back at the crowd. "I seen this quote the other day that said," i took a deep and shaky breath. "Now I have to remember you, for longer, than I've known you... and it broke me." I could feel emotions rolling off of everybody in the room and it was so hard to embrace this new feeling, I held onto the podium for support.

I looked at my mom and her eyes locked with mine, my heart clenched and I grabbed at it even though I couldn't actually stop the pain that I felt.

I felt really dizzy and I felt myself sway a little. "Scott..." I whispered before I fell and everything went black.