From School

He grinned but his smile wasn't the usual bright grin that got my heart racing. “Boyfriend, that's what I am to you and that's what your mother shall know me as.”
I measured his face for a second. It was flat, cold. "Okay..."
“So should I stay for dinner?”
“Um…no. I need to tell her first.” I gulped. “Jennie doesn't take surprises well."
"I'm still not sure this is a good idea."
My mouth twisted with chagrin, deterred by his mood. “It smells awfully delicious,” I said instead.
"Thanks."
I just nodded and fidgeted with my zipper while I watched him. Whatever was wrong made me uneasy.
"You'll take it from here," he said, gesturing to the green salad he was still busy with.
I nodded, sceptical, and then I saw the flash of headlights light up the window as Jennie pulled up in the driveway.
“See you soon,” Roman said, planting his warm lips against my neck.
My heart was crushing against the walls of my chest. “Thanks a lot,” I grumbled. “It’ll take forever to calm it down.”
He winked and disappeared through the back door.
"What a hectic day today," Jennie called as she walked into the kitchen. She shrugged off her wet jacket and let it fall by the door before stepping on her tennis shoes to take them off. I smiled nervously at her.
"Hey Jen—mom, would you like some coffee? It’s bitterly cold outside"
Jennie smiled up at me, her eyes apprehensive. "Yes, sure baby."
"Black, no sugar?" My voice broke and I cleared my throat anxiously.
"Yes, just the way I like it — Nuru, you look sickly pale... almost green.” Her voice was worried. "Honey, if you're afraid I might hit you I again. I promise, I'm on my best behaviour today. I haven't been drinking. I'm sorry about last night."
"I'm sorry too, mom, but let's not dwell on that." I worked to sound normal but my voice shook.
“Honey it smells divine and that looks delicious,” she mumbled and pointed to the salad, oblivious to my nervous turmoil. “Your skills in the kitchen are improving. Did you take up some cooking lessons behind my back?” she joked.
My laugh was off and I cleared my throat again.
“Leave the coffee; it’ll spoil my taste buds,” she said cheerfully. “What are we having anyway?”
“Pickled fish with crusty bread and green salad,” I mumbled, squeezing my eyes tightly shut.
“What’s the occasion?” she mumbled. And then she was frantic. “It’s not your birthday is it?”
“No mom.” I frowned. “My birthday is on the tenth of December, remember?”
“Oh no,” she cried. “It passed several months ago — why didn’t you remind me?”
“You were busy,” I mumbled. I was starling, still searching for easier ways to raise the topic.
"Oh!" Jennie gasped. "Is it mine then?"
I chuckled. "Oh mom, sometimes I forget you could be so funny. I love you, I don't think I've told you that lately. And your birthday is less than a month away."
"Love you too. Dish up won’t you, I’m famished.”
“Are cross-buns and butter pudding okay for dessert?”
“Yes,” she mumbled enthusiastically. “You went all out today.”
I absentmindedly played with my food as Jennie moaned. “Hmm, Nuru, this is mouth-watering.” She spoke with her mouth full. “Where did you get the recipe?” Jennie asked, snapping me out of my thoughts.
My heart jammed. I took a breath.
“Well, there… um, was something I actually wanted to talk to you about.”
“Okay,” still cheerful.
“There’s someone I invited to dinner tonight.”
“Oh.” But she continued eating. “Are they running late?”
“They should be here any minute now.” I finally exhaled, my lungs complaining against the action. I'd held my breath too long. The air exploded out of me.
Jennie looked up at the sound, suddenly anxious.
“We should’ve waited for them?” she tried to guess the root of my anxiety.
I gulped. “Roman and I have been dating for a while now.”
“Roman?” Jennie's face puckered up in concentration, “Now where have I heard that name before — oh the man you've been living with?” still calm.
“Yes.”
"Wait! The man you have been living with?" Jennie suddenly widened her eyes and her mouth, still full with chewed food, dropped. "Isn't he dead?"
I blinked twice, desperately trying to make sense of the situation. "What?"
"Oh no!" Jennie said in a softer tone.
"What?"
"Nothing," Jennie croaked, cussing, her throat was thick with panic.
I frowned at her unhappily. Her face was even more anxious than ever.
"Jennie. We are having this conversation and you will tell me the truth."
There was a long moment of silence.
"I don't like it when you call me Jennie."
"You didn't seem to mind when you'd — along with your precious boyfriend — instructed me to call you Jen... and to lie to your friends and say I'm your sister."
She frowned too but didn't speak.
"Well then... mother I'm leaving and if I walk through that door, don't expect to see me again in this — "
She clung with desperate, iron grip fingers into my fleece jacket, yanking me back into the room.
"Let me go," I hissed curtly, gripping her hands to pry them away.
Her grip tightened. "Please..."
"Cut it out, Jennie," I said with force.
"I'll give you answers," she reasoned.
I stopped, deliberating on whether to trust her.
"Please..."
I sat back down, my face turning wary in an instant. I sighed a heavy sigh.
"Last night I hired someone to kill him."
"Jennie Gladys Key-Lynn," I whispered curtly. "Did I hear you correctly? Did you just say kill him? As in... end Roman's life?" My world?
She didn't answer. Instead she looked at her fingers. She was suddenly more nervous than a girl on a first date.
"Why?" I whispered, and gulped the sudden lump in my throat. My eyes stung and my head throbbed. "Why would you do this to me, Jennie?"
"Like I ju—"
"Mother! What is wrong with you?" I yelled, shaking my head, my bewilderment swiftly turning to fury.
"I —" She took a breath, hesitating. "I —"
"No!" I closed my eyes, shaking my head back and forth, I pushed against my chair, the frustration and anxiety boiling over. The hole in my heart widened, the pain stealing my breath away. "You know what? I'm done with you."
"No...!" Jennie caught my elbow. "Let me explain please."
My muscles locked down, my eyes recoiled against the moisture filling them up, my jaw relaxed it's tension. Why should I care for someone who didn't care about me? Disowing Jennie would be excruciating but maybe... with Roman's help, I would learn to live without her, as impossible as that thought was. "No!"
"That face scares me," she said anxiously, her face turning pale.
"Excuse me?"
"I've disappointed you before and you'd shrugged it off." She half-smiled. Only it wasn't a happy smile. She was sad. "My Nuru always slow to anger, always overlooking the bad." Suddenly she turned to look at me, torn. "But now I'm afraid you've given up on me."
I'd really been hoping to put off this part of our conversation for last. In fact I hadn't wanted things to get so out of control.
"Don't give up on me."
I pursed my lips, considering.
"Tell me, you won't give up on your mother."
She stared at me with agonized eyes and I stared back flatly.
"Please, Nuru, please."
I grimaced, my heart melting at the sound of her desperate voice. I loved this woman too much.
"Fine," I grumbled, embarrassed by my childish behaviour, and sat back down. "You have sixty seconds."
"I overhead Nikolai telling someone on the phone that he wants Roman dead."
My muscles flexed uneasily, my whole body froze. "So?"
"Don't be mad — I figured, I should hire someone to kill him because I know Nikolai wouldn't have bothered to keep you alive."
I couldn't control my grimace. I didn't respond.
She sucked in a huge breath and locked her gaze with mine. "Please don't be angry."
"I'm not — I should be — but I'm not. I understand, it was coming from a good place but Jennie, you have got to know, you can't kill Roman and expect me to survive."
Jennie's face turned bright red, and she looked at me for a moment, her eye confused, curious and then she shook her head as though she didn't understand something.
Jennie picked up her spoon and dug it deep into the salad.
I sighed in relief.
"Thank you... for looking out for me — even though you went about it the wrong way."
Her spoonful of salad paused in the air. “Don’t you think Roman is a little too old for you?”
“Age didn't bother you when you were pimping me to men of your choosing.”
“Oh,” she choked out. Her hand reached toward the space across the large table as if it would magically enlongarate so that she'd touch my face. Jennie's face was still locked in her frozen surprise. "You're right." she paused for a second deliberating. "Do you think you will ever forgive me for that?"
I drew in a deep breath. "I was never anger with you mom — just disappointed."
"That's even worse."
"Sorry," I mumbled.
“Why can’t you go for the other friend you told me about?” she asked. "The one from your school?"