Guilty

I listened to the wind whistle through the open crack of the window. Farther away, I could hear the echoes of sirens.
And much closer I could hear the beeping sound of machines around me.
In my right hand, the same hand Nikolai had broken three of my fingers, I could feel something odd, extended along the side of my arm. And then I watched the nurse change my I.V bag, the needle felt uncomfortable under my skin, attached to it by a clear tape.
An uncomfortable clear mask covered the bottom half of my face, and a small tube made its way into my mouth and down my throat. It was uncomfortable.
The machine that monitored my heart beat increased its beeping as my eyes finally met Ruth's.
She shook her head with a slow movement, almost as if in disbelief, her mouth fell open in surprise. "It's a miracle," she spoke to herself. "How does this coma thing work? Can she see me? Can she even hear me? Is she sane?" she asked the nurse.
"Be very sensitive what you say. She might still not remember everything. But she's sane. She can see and hear you, just perfectly."
"Aw... now that's embarrassing."
The nurse chuckled. "I'd say."
And then he strode out.
"You're awake then?" Ruth stated, her eyes wide with disbelief.
I stared at the elegantly dressed woman in confusion.
"Roman!" she screamed. "She's awake!"
I groaned and gulped. My throat felt dry. It felt like I just swallowed a spoonful of sand.
"Here's some water..." Ruth helped position my mouth over the glass.
"Oh dear..." she gasped. "I don't think it'll be possible with the tube in your mouth."
"Thanks," I croaked, breathless.
I tried to sit up and pain shot through me. "Aw."
Ruth pushed me back against the comfortable white bed. "Careful. You haven't recovered yet."
"Recovered?"
“Don’t you remember?” she asked, astonished. “You probably don’t. Your doctor did say you might have a concussion. You hit your head pretty badly.”
“What happened?”
“Um… well… you broke your spinal cord, Roman flew in a few specialist and they are very optimistic, there's a good sixty percent chance you could walk again.”
“Roman?” was the only word I heard.
"He's coming... I'm sure. He was answering a few questions the detectives had."
"The police!" I glanced at Ruth in panic. "Jennie?
"She told them everything. About killing her husband, about protecting you from Nikolai — a stranger who broke into your house and tortured you for hours."
Ruth sighed and glanced warily at the opened door. I guessed there was something she wanted to say.
"Did you want to talk?" it was clearly a rethorical question. "Close the door. Roman would have to knock before coming in."
"Look..." She bit her lip hesitantly. "I'm here pretending to be your maternal grandmother — explains the different last names — so that social services don't put you in a foster home."
Uh-oh. I sensed this was one conversation I should've avoided.
"Okay." It came out sounding like a question.
"So..." she hesitated, throwing a quick glance at the door. "That boy loves you in a way I never thought I'd witness in this lifetime, in a way that puts every relation I know to shame."
"Ruth, I—"
She raised her wrinkly hand to stop me. "Now I love that boy, I love him him like he were my own. He's my grandson. But Roman wants you — that still troubles and puzzles me — but I won't challenge his choice any longer. Hopefully.
"I hate to admit it but it doesn't change the fact that I would never be able to look in his eyes again, should he lose you," she continued curtly. "That's precisely what I want us to discuss."
"Just don't ask me to stay away from him," I begged. That thought terrified me and the beeping accelerated.
"Have you been listening to a word I've been saying?" Ruth frowned glancing at the heart monitor in panic and then the worry disappeared completely from her face as immediate understanding lit her eyes.
"I'm under the suspicion that you love him too."
"You have no idea how much."
"Hmm.." she mumbled thoughtfully, hesitating, watching me with vacant eyes. "How odd. This won't be easy."
I froze at her words. An awkward silence followed but I refused to break it.
"Let's get something straight," Ruth said suddenly, her voice anxious. "You ever hurt my boy, I will kill you and no I'm not saying this the normal way a grandmother might say to intimidate their grandson's girlfriend. I'm warning you, telling you in advance to expect a bullet through your eyes should you ever hurt him."
I sighed in relief and smiled smugly. "Well, don't count on that happening. You might want to save your bullets for something much more fruitful."
"We understand each other?"
"Guilty."
"Good." Ruth actually smiled at me and I couldn't help but be mesmerized. I suddenly felt sorry for all those women who grew up with her. She was the type of beauty that got you to stare, made fellow women envious. "Now I don't know what's keeping Roman but the police will come talk to you now. I'll tell them you're awake. Remember, don't breathe a word about your relationship with Roman to law enforcement and another thing," she said, she was standing on her feet now. "Keep your mother's relationship with Nikolai out of the conversation you're about to have. Plus, Secret Agents, in fact, our world in general doesn't exist."
"Nikolai, is that the name I know the man by?"
"You've never seen him in your life," she said sheepishly. "We're working with our lawyers to get your mother a lighter sentence. Personally, I don't think your mother will be charged with murder in Nikolai's death and with Roberto it's a different story. We can't reveal what and who Roberto is without it gaining media attention."
I nodded and then winced.
"The last thing we need is the Russian intelligence declaring a war against us."
"Okay."
"That's all, I guess."
"Why am I not in hospital?" The room I was in was too warm, homely to be the typical cold, bland hospital room.
"Roman didn't want you out of his sight and he said something about you hating hospitals, so he organised everything to be done here, in his home, across his bedroom." Ruth shook her head in confusion. "He brought medical equipment and hired two nurses, one works night the other does the day shift and of course he has Angelique monitoring your condition."
"Er... wow." I stared at Ruth in astonishment.
Ruth shrugged and walked towards the door. "Told you that boy is head over heels for you."
I felt my eyes water and the machine protest wildly at my sudden change in breathing. I knew that Roman loved me but to hear the words from Ruth, someone who wasn't trying to make us stick together, it just further proved the extreme blessing showered my way.
"I'm starting to believe that he was right."
Ruth stopped at the door and whipped her head around and asked, "About?"
"He said something about loving me more than I love him."
"Hmm," she said, while she deliberated. "You're still sceptical, why?" Ruth failed to hide the rage of curiosity in her voice.
"I don't think it's possible. There is no way, he could be able to love me more than life it self."
Ruth laughed and shook her head. "Oh but he does." And then her eyes shifted away from me. "Detectives." She nodded stiffly.
"Yes ma'am. May we come in?"
"Yes. I was just leaving." And then she turned towards me with a smile and tender eyes. "Call honey, if you need anything. I'll be just down the hall. I love you."
That threw me for a second until I realized that Ruth was supposed to be my grandmother and that sounded like something a concerned, loving grandmother would say.
"I love you too, nana."
The police were by my bedside in a heart beat. Two men and a woman.
"Hello." The man that spoke was young. Tall. Skinny. Limp. Black eyed. Handsome was the word to sum it up. "I'm detective Reed, that's my partner Bud" — he gestured towards the door at a man I hadn't noticed. An older man, in his mid forties. He looked like the type of policeman that solved all the cases assigned to him — "and this is my lieutenant, Jefferson. Can I ask you a few questions?"
"Of course."
I smiled impatiently at them. The sooner they were done with questioning, the sooner I would see Roman.
"Nuru... Lynn, right?" He extended his hand for a hand shake and when he found both my hands untouchable, he settled with patting my left arm. Something about the frown on his forehead reminded me of Roman.
I noticed with horror that when I'd thought about Roman it was the same time Reed had gone and patted my arm and it was in that precise moment that my heart kicked to overdrive, a normal response to the thought of Roman. The machine announced the change in my heart beat.
But the three strangers in the room exchanged quick glances, probably thinking I was moved by the handsome young detective.
I felt my cheeks redden. How embarrassing.
I looked up at the man in the door as he chuckled, at least the elderly man found humor in my shame.
"Can you tell us what happened on the twenty seventh of May?"
I frowned. "You didn't say yesterday."
"You were in an induced coma for three and a half weeks."
I did a quick math in my head and realized that it was six days before my mother's birthday, the thought of Jennie spending her forty second birthday in orange jumpsuits and cold prison walls shattered my heart.
"Are you okay?" Reed asked anxiously.
I nodded and then winced in pain.
"Should I call your nurse or get you a glass of water?"
I shrugged. And my limps protested with pain. Aw. I cringed. "I'm fine."
"Are you sure?" his eyes were concerned. Yep, he'd taken the perfect job for him, I acknowledged. "You look on the verge of hyperventilation."
"I'm fine." My voice broke. I cleared my throat, the tube in my throat moved uncomfortably. "I'll be fine."
He hesitated. "Okay. So what happened that day? Start from the beginning up until we found you."
I sighed and went about explaining everything, the abduction at gun point from the school parking lot, the strange man pointing a gun to Jennie's head while she drove the car to the house, him tying Jennie up and then throwing me against the wall, breaking my fingers, the almost rape, my mother rescuing me.