My lost peace

"Riya's point of view,"
"Riya Mittal, I had complete faith that you would eventually hit me someplace, but I did not know that you would damage my car in such a serious way." The man stepped out of the car and walked right up to me.
"Harsh Chopra, you?" Having rushed away from this country in fear of having to face Harsh, I did not know he was here, staring me in the face.
"Yes, I am, but the damage you caused to my car's headlights was entirely unnecessary." After hearing him, I took aback from him. How could he talk to me like we were old friends who had been apart for so long? Does he not remember what happened between us? I was stunned. Has he lost his memory since I've been gone? Perhaps, therefore, he speaks to me in such a natural manner. What else could be the motive for him to speak to me in this manner? My blunder was not minor enough to be easily forgiven.
"Riya Mittal, You seem to have learned to be more silent than necessary in the last four years; oh man, you're staring at me as if a ghost has appeared in front of you."
"Harsh Chopra, aren't you the same Harsh?' It was still hard for me to believe what I was seeing.
"Yes, I am Harsh Chopra, the same person you fled from the hospital in such a terrible state because of your fear of facing him." After listening to him, I am convinced that he is harsh and his memory has not weakened.
"I'm sorry, Harsh. I didn't want to cause you any more pain because of myself, so I had no choice but to flee." In hushed tones, I remarked, glancing at him. He has changed little in appearance over the years; he looks precisely the same as he did when I left him four years ago.
With his eyes fixated on my face, he said, "Riya, as far as I know, you, you are not one of those who runs away from a situation."
After taking a big breath, I said softly, "Sometimes we should keep away from some things."
I'm not sure how to tell him I don't want to come back and scratch his wounds repeatedly.
The constant horns of surrounding vehicles reminded me I still stopped my car in the middle of the road. I wanted to spend more time with Harsh, but the constant noise kept forcing me to retreat.
"Riya, you have yet to be compensated." Harsh muttered from behind as he watched me walk away.
When I heard him, I turned around and asked, in a terrified tone."What compensation are you talking about?"
"What do you suppose I'm talking about?" His face sank into a calculated expression.
"You don't have to be concerned; I'm referring to my car's broken headlight." When he saw my terrified expression, he said,
I gasped as I realized he was referring to the headlights.
I added, handing over my visiting card to the driver, "Please email me the cost of getting your car repaired."
"Okay, bye;" the vehicle's horns prevented me from properly conversing with him.
I was going to turn around to return to my car when Harsh's car's back door opened, revealing a child and a woman behind him.
That woman, who was attempting to stop the child, said, "Harsh, stop him, he's not listening to me;"
Hearing that woman's voice, I couldn't help but turn around and stare at her;
"Aarav, sit inside the car," he shouted, gripping the child's hand and preventing him from fleeing.
"Daddy," the child stated innocently, "I want to capture that butterfly."
"Running on the road is not a smart idea, so let's get in the car and sit with your mother." Harsh noticed me standing there, but before he could say anything, I walked straight to my car, sat down, started the engine, and drove away.
Harsh Chopra has moved on in his life; he now has a wife and a child, and he is a complete family man. That child looks to be about 3 years old, which means Harsh married that girl just after I left.
I never imagined that he would forget me so quickly. So, what do you want? He waited for you even after you had betrayed him?
No, I don't want that at all, but my eyes can't believe what they're seeing.
How can he forget me so fast? He loved me. Despite your antics, he did not despise you. This is enough for you since if someone else had been in his place, he might have refused to recognize you. My subconscious won't let me rest easily after meeting Harsh, and now it won't let me sleep at night either.
I would have been Harsh's wife today if I hadn't cheated on him, and I would have had such a big child today if I hadn't miscarried. But, alas, there is nothing left for me to do but repent. Have I done such horrible things? Do you have any regrets about your wrongdoings? My conscience is well prepared to suffocate me in a blaze of remorse.
Why are you thinking so much now that it has punished you for your wrongdoings because you did not ponder them before you did them?
I thought about it and tried to stop myself, but I couldn't.
You did everything knowingly, and now that you're being punished for it, you'd like to be forgiven quickly. Why do you go to such lengths to break his heart?How can you expect him to love you as much as he did before?
Even after a million attempts, a broken thing would not join like it used to. I couldn't take it any longer; I couldn't stand the internal battle any longer. My head throbbed with anguish as I heard my subconscious's arguments. Even in the quiet of my hotel room, I could hear the bustle.
I wanted peace, yet I was the one who caused it to disappear from my life.
Then, without thinking, I dialed Ankur's number on my phone.
"Riya, what is it you're calling about this time of night? Is everything okay?"
I checked the time on my phone after hearing his worried voice. The time was 2.30 a.m.
"I have to meet you right now, Ankur." I had lost my ability to think. At the moment, there was only one Ankur who could comprehend my situation.
"On such a night, tell me what happened;" he was concerned after hearing me. The sudden alertness in his sleepy voice made me aware of this.
"Please give me your address because I cannot tell you everything over the phone. I'm on my way to see you right now." Without listening to his response, I hung upon him.
I took my car keys from the side table and drove to the hotel parking lot, where I started the engine. The time I drove my car out of the hotel building and onto the main road had received Ankur's SMS on my phone.
At 2.30 p.m., the streets of Gurgaon were deafeningly quiet, but the noise inside me was louder than the traffic on these roads during the day. I couldn't decide which feeling to experience first because I was experiencing so many emotions.
Should I be happy to see Harsh again, relieved to see him move on with his life, complain to him for forgetting about me so quickly, and blame myself for my past mistakes? Allow me to be engulfed in remorse.
All the answers to these questions were in my hands, but I still needed to learn about my heart from someone else.
When my life was shattered by my unfulfilled desires, I was left with nothing but a void in my heart and a void in my life.
Right now, all I'm missing is my peace of mind.