Bonus Chapter 13

The stairs creak under my shoes as I walk down the last step. Allie told me to wait downstairs because she would check on her kids first. 
I grip the wooden handrail tighter, holding my breath without realizing it.
The living room is silent, soaked in late afternoon light slanting through the tall windows. It glows soft and gold, like honey.
Everything smells faintly of cedarwood and something warm. 
Except for the towering man standing near the fireplace.
Alpha Ethan.
He doesn’t move. Just stands there with his arms crossed over his chest, his broad shoulders tense beneath a black button-up. His eyes are fixed on something I can’t see. 
I freeze halfway down. My heart picks up like a tiny bird trapped in my chest. He hasn’t seen me. Maybe I can turn around. Maybe he won’t hear me if I tiptoe back—
“Downstairs, young lady. Now.” His commanding voice cuts sharply like thunder.
I flinch. My foot stumbles on the step, and I grab the rail again to steady myself.
He turns slowly. This could make him seem more threatening, but, my Spirits, this is Alpha Ethan. 
His dark eyes land right on me.
My legs move even though my brain says no. I descend the stairs with every inch of me tense, like I’m walking into a lion’s den. Or in his case, a literal wolf’s den. When I step into the room, I try not to shake. My fingers twist together in front of me.
He watches me the way wolves watch prey. I know it isn’t fair to think that—he isn’t a bad person. Azrael loves him. 
But that day—the day he grabbed my arm and told me he’d snap my neck if my mama didn’t remove the curse—it doesn’t leave me.
I still wake up from dreams of it. 
He gestures to the couch.
“Sit.”
My knees nearly buckle. I obey, perched on the very edge of the cushion, legs glued together, back straight like a statue. My hands are cold. I glance around for Azrael’s mom, or my mates, or even Cedar—anyone. But we’re alone. The silence is louder than his voice.
He takes a step toward me.
I twitch.
He stops. His eyes narrowing.
“You’re afraid of me.”
*Has he seen how big he is?*
I want to say no. I want to lie so he won’t feel bad. But my silence betrays me. I bite my lip.
“Look at me,” he says.
I do, barely. His gaze is too intense, but it doesn’t burn. It’s more like it tries to see *through* me.
“You think I’m angry at you?”
I swallow. I nod.
Alpha Ethan’s brow furrows deeper. “I *am* angry. But not at *you*.”
That confuses me.
His voice is tighter now, laced with something I can’t quite name. Guilt, maybe. Pain. “I’m angry at myself. At what we did to you. At the way I looked at you. The way we touched you. You were just a little girl.”
I blink fast. My throat suddenly burns.
“I’m sorry,” he says.
I stare up, tears starting to form in my eyes.
“I know sorry doesn’t fix nightmares. But I need you to hear it from me. I’m not proud of what I did to you.”
I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. I shake my head, finally whispering, “I… I never hated you.”
He blinks like I slapped him.
“I’m a little scared... But I know you were scared too that night. My mom was... she hurt a lot of people. I understand.”
He sinks into the armchair across from me. The way his body folds forward makes him look older. He scrubs a hand over his face.
“You sound like her.”
“My mother?”
He looks up. His mouth twitches. “No. My mate.”
My eyes widen.
He lets out an unexpected low laugh. “Soft and pure like sunshine. Even when people don’t deserve it.”
I blush.
“She’d forgive a snake if it looked lonely enough. Drove me mad when we were younger. Still does.”
I giggle quietly. I don’t mean to. It just slips out. He looks at me, startled for a second, then the edge of his mouth lifts in something close to a smile.
“I know you two already got along,” Alpha Ethan says. “You know she’s the one who insisted you stayed here. Said we owed you more than just apologies.”
My eyes sting. I blink away tears, ducking my head.
“Thank you,” I whisper. “For... letting me stay in the pack. In your home. Although I didn’t want to be near Azzy yesterday, I, uh, I just... I needed time.”
He studies my face. Then his furrowed eyebrows soften. “He told me not to pressure you,” the Alpha says. “Said if I did, you’d leave. And he wouldn’t forgive me if you did.”
My heart twists at the thought of Azrael saying that. I grip the fabric of my pretty dress tighter.
“I just want everyone to be okay,” I say softly. “I don’t want to be a burden. Or cause any hurt to anyone. I want to make up for everything my mother did. Even if I can’t.”
He leans forward. His dark eyes are serious again, but not cruel.  
“You don’t have to make up for someone else’s sins, Poppy. You are not her. You never were. Okay?”
I nod slowly.
“I’m saying you have a place here, Poppy. Blackmoon is now your home too. I’m sorry for what I did. I really am,” he says firmly before asking, “Do you believe me?”
“Yes.”
He nods once.
“I’m glad you’re here, Poppy. And I’m sorry it took me so long to mean that.”
I blink at him.
After wiping my tears off, I bite my lip and smile. “I’m glad I’m here too. Even if I’m still scared sometimes.”
“That’s fair. I’m not exactly gentle-looking.”
“You could smile more,” I offer.
He raises an eyebrow.
“Not like, *a lot*,” I stammer. “Just... less glaring at me. Maybe.”
He laughs, a real one this time. Deep and surprising.
I smile too.
He rises from the chair, and I stand with him. We’re still not the same height, of course. He’s massive. But I don’t feel tiny the same way I did before. 
It’s odd because I can feel Alpha Ethan’s strong aura and I feel... safe.
He nods to me, solemn. “I’ll do better.”
“Me too,” I whisper.
“You remind me of the kind of peace I fought for. Don’t ever let the world change that.”
I swallow hard. My vision blurs once more. “I’ll try,” I try to say, but I end up crying.
Sobbing.
Oh, Spirits.
At least I don’t feel the need to run from him or anything.
Then Allie runs down the stairs with angry steps, and less than a second later, she’s standing right in front of Alpha Ethan. 
Poking her finger hard into his chest, she nearly hits him with her huge stomach. She tilts her head up to meet his surprised dark eyes. “Did you say something bad to her?” She demands. “Why is she crying?”
“I didn’t say anything, my Little Dove,” he says with a tiny smirk, barely stifling his smile. 
“Did he make you cry, Pumpkin?” Allie asks me.
Widening my eyes, I look up at her mate, then my gaze shifts to her, and I shake my head vehemently. “Yes, but—I mean. No, Luna! He was, uhm, he said he was sorry.”
She narrows her eyes at him like she didn’t believe it. Even though she’s too adorable to look scary, that makes me feel better.
“If I get word that you so much as upset that precious baby angel right there, you will catch these hands, am I clear?” she threatens him under her breath. 
Alpha Ethan holds back a laugh, his broad shoulders shaking. 
“I said, am I clear, Ethan?” 
This time, he smirks. “Crystal, my Little Dove.” Without looking at me, he orders, “You can go ahead, Poppy. I think we’ll be late.”
I blink several times, not understanding what’s happening until I hear her squeals when he picks her up in his big arms and rushes with her up the stairs. The last thing I hear is him grunting that he loves this side of her during the Black Moon.