Chapter 91

I force my arms to let her go and take a step back when her silence hits me hard. It hurts me too fucking much. I lower my head.
“Never mind. Don’t answer that anyway.” I take a deep breath, running a hand through my hair. I step in front of her, and she looks up at me, fresh tears spilling down her cheeks. She still keeps her arms tightly crossed, as though she doesn’t trust herself to lower them. “I want you, Little Dove. In my life. Waking up next to me every day in my bed. *Our* bed. I want—no, I *crave*—to see that smile on your face when someone in Blackmoon praises you for something incredible you’ve done just because it’s one of my favorite smiles. I want to join you on your hikes because seeing you light up as you explore Blackmoon’s natural beauty makes me happy, too.” I wipe tears from her chin-trembling face; this time, she lets me. “And I’m not going to just give up on you, Little Dove, because you’re special. You’re mine. What we have is sacred. We deserve a chance, a proper one. I’m going to do this right this time. I promise you.” 
“I don’t want you.” 
With just one sentence, she shatters my heart. I lower my arms. I swear to Goddess I can hear it breaking, echoing in my ears. 
I don’t want you. 
I don’t want you. 
I don’t want you. 
“You, Alicent, are a liar!” I say through gritted teeth, seeing it clear in her bright aura. “Do you think I’ve forgotten the way you wanted me a few months ago? Well, I haven’t. You’re it for me. Stop lying to us, to yourself. You want me too.” 
“I don’t, Ethan.” 
Yet, I see the way her lip wobbles, how more tears stream down her face. She is my mate. Unless she rejects me, it can’t possibly be true. If she didn’t feel anything, she wouldn’t be this distraught.   
Fuck! I have this whole plan laid out to win her back, but once again, I find myself messing it all up. Instead of having her in my arms, all I get is her icy distance. I should’ve just stuck to the damn plan.
“Please, go,” Little Dove says as she wipes her tears away.
I stay rooted to the spot, trying to figure out what to say or do to get her back. 
I reach out to run my hand through my hair, but then, at the last second, I wrap it around the back of her neck and drop my forehead to hers. Her skin is cold in comparison to mine. Yet, the contact makes me go hot all over, feeling sparks around my skin. I wrap my other arm around her, pulling her closer to me because I just can’t control my body around her. My hand at her neck slides into her soft, light blonde hair, and I hear her almost silent sob as she ever so slightly rubs her forehead against mine. I hold my Little Dove to me, my fingers gentle and firm, stroking her hair before they dig into her scalp. 
I inhale deeply, trying to soak in as much of her sweet scent as I can, holding onto it like a lifeline. “Come with me, Little Dove,” I whisper.
That is when she tries to pull away. But I still hold her tight, knotting her soft hair in my fist and keeping my forehead pressed to hers. 
“Please, go, Ethan!”
She tries to push me away again, and as her scent shifts to something fearful, I release her without hesitation. I quickly untangle my fingers from her hair, straighten, and pull away. I never want her to be afraid of me. She doesn’t step back to put distance between us, though, and that alone sends a rush of relief through me.
“Let me explain everything to you,” I say, but right then I realize my mistake.
Little Dove curls her lips, stepping back this time.
“Oh, so now you have apologies and explanations? I don’t want to hear explanations that come two months too late, you murderer!” She yells. “No! You never told me the truth, so it’s probably been a lot longer than that!” 
Fuck, I should go. An icky feeling creeps beneath my skin every time she calls me a murderer because she isn’t wrong. How can I tell her the truth? I’m getting angry, and I will end up saying things that would only make us both feel worse. I don’t want to make my fated mate suffer. My Little Dove doesn’t deserve it.
But she’s so fucking close! All I need to do is step forward, and I’d be touching her again. It is so fucking hard to resist the mate bond pull. Only the idea that she might reject me again holds me in place. But, Goddess, I need her again wrapped in my arms. It felt so fucking right.  
“Little Dove,” I whisper, and she peers up at me. “Come with me to Blackmoon. You have my heart. You own it, Little Dove. This scarred thing is yours.”  
I want to cry. I can’t lose her. She’s part of me now. She always has been. If she rejects me, she will take a part of me with her. My heart. And I know I’ll never get back. Which is why I can’t walk away. 
Not yet. 
Not when I haven’t had any time with her like my fated mate. Like I deserve. Like *she* deserves. We haven’t had enough time.
“Come with me,” I tell her, trying to convince her, or maybe myself, that this isn’t the end. “You have to. I’ve given you everything, Little Dove! Don’t give up on us.” 
“I’m happy here, Ethan. With my family,” she says, looking up at me. “I’m sorry,” is all she offers to my broken heart.   
*I finally have my family back together.* Az’s voice invades my mind. My heart fissures even more.
“I don’t want your apologies,” I snarl. “I want you.” 
“Don’t make this harder than it needs to be,” she says. “I’m sorry, but I choose my family, and that’s just not you.” 
“I’ll do anything, Little Dove. Anything.” 
Except she doesn’t listen. Instead, she goes to the door and opens it wide. 
“Come with me, Little Dove,” I call out, and she turns around to gaze at me. “Come with me.” 
“I can’t.” 
Fuck. 
I’ll be alone again. I’m always alone. Even without the foul curse. I can’t get over her because she’s my fucking fated mate. Without even realizing it, that tiny woman has marked me. It is not like the mark I intend to make where her neck meets her shoulder, but it is one that only she could make even before I broke the curse. Her bright aura has burned the letters of her name into my heart, carved it into my soul. Nothing could ever be able to erase it.
She opens the door wider. “Please get out. Logan will be here soon, and I don’t want you here when he arrives.”
“No!” I say a little louder than I’d like after hearing his name on her lips. 
“Keep it down! Az is napping! He’s been really tired lately—”
“Lily!” I say right away as I make my way to her. “He misses her!” *Because she’s his fated mate*. They shouldn’t be apart. But since she doesn’t know any of that, I add, “And Theo.”
“Yes. Az made friends with them, but he’s still happier now that our family is together.”
*Please, I never want this to change.* I hear Az’s voice again.
I squeeze my eyes shut for just a second, but they snap open the moment I hear her precious voice.
“This is ridiculous. Ethan? Are you listening to me? We’re done!” she says stiffly. “Get out and don’t come back, or else, I swear, Ethan, I’ll move out of here.”
Unease churns inside of me. Fuck. She can’t do this! It was a nightmare not knowing where she was before. “Okay,” I say. “But even if you don’t want me, I will be there for you if you need me, Little Dove.” 
I hear her heart racing as she takes a deep breath as if to calm herself. It causes my own heart to clench. 
To break. 
She doesn’t want me now. 
She isn’t ready for us, and I don’t know if she’d ever be, but I would wait until that day comes or until the Moon Goddess collects my soul. 
Minutes after leaving her house, instead of going to my place, I hide in my car, one that she hasn’t seen before. All the windows are tinted, so luckily, if she looks out, she can’t see me here like a lunatic. Hungry for the sight of her. 
‘How was everything, Ian?’
‘I fucked up, Vi,’ I mindlink back to my sister. She’s in my nightclub. ‘She wants her family.’
‘Ian… Don’t you think she—’
I frown. ‘No. This changes nothing!’ 
I cut our connection. This is one of the reasons I haven’t told my parents about Little Dove yet. I don’t want them to be a pain in my ass. Only Vi and Josh know she’s my fated mate. I wasn’t sure whether to tell Mom and Dad or not, but I’ve made up my mind. I’ll tell them as soon as I get to my pack today and ask them to keep it a secret.
I close my fists against my eyes.
What a day. 
What a fucking day. 
I move my hands to massage my temple. My gaze roves over her body as I watch her through the glass windows of her house. Has she lost weight? It kills me to know she’s in pain as she desperately wipes the tears from her eyes with the tip of her shirt. Her shoulders slump. I angle my head to the side, pressing roughly against the glass to see my Little Dove. 
Then, cold seeps down my spine when I notice the fucker’s car approaching their house. 
As soon as he gets inside, I hear the piece of shit saying, “Allie! Why isn’t fucking dinner ready? What the fuck has your lazy ass been doing all day here? I’m working so hard to provide for my family, and this is the thanks I fucking get?” 
From where I am, I can only see her and not him. As soon as he says that, I watch Little Dove runs towards what I think is the fucking kitchen. She says something back, but I’m too angry to pay attention.
Fuck. I’m going to kill him!
At least he’s not kissing her. Not that the pain I’m feeling is any less intense than if he were.
Before I can go over there and do what my instincts are telling me to do, I spot her ex-husband leaving the house with his phone to his ear. He closes the door behind him while answering someone.
Since Josh didn’t get much information about him, I pay attention to what he says. It can only be something suspicious if the fucker has to leave the house so she wouldn’t hear him.
I open the car window just a little bit, enough for me to confirm what my instincts have been warning me.
‘He reeks of fucking rogues,’ Kral says, growling in my mind.
‘He’s been in an environment where there are rogues. The stench is permeating him.’
He may be unaware of our world, though; after all, most humans don’t even know who sits right on their side. The danger close to them. 
But I’m sure as shit there’s not a single naive bone in this fucker’s body.
He chuckles at something the other person says. “Who told you to get married?” Then, with a smug grin, he adds, “Well, I’m married, and I still get laid every day, T, not sure about my wife, though.” He bursts out laughing, proud of himself.
The son of a bitch has probably been with other women while he’s been with my Little Dove. He has a treasure, a bright, pure gold treasure! *My* Little Dove. And also her willingness. And rather than cherish her, he is fucking cheating on her again. 
I tamper down the rage from just the thought. Not towards her for choosing him—my Little Dove can do no wrong—but he, however... He’s going to fucking pay for this.
I slam the car into gear and tear away before I do something I can’t take back—before I rip him apart and destroy any chance of getting her back. She already thinks I’m a murderer... I need to prove her wrong, not give her more reasons to believe it.
Fuck! Nothing went as I planned.

🐺 🐺 🐺
***Alicent***

This is so wrong, thinking about a man who’s a murderer. 
I don’t want to think about him. 
I don’t want him. 
I *can’t* want him! 
But nothing seems to exist that moment a week ago when I was in his arms, except for the press of our forehead together, the feel of his strong hand tangling in my hair. The broken look in his onyx black eyes. Ethan’s pupils have swallowed the irises as he watched me all the time he was here. 
I shake my head. *No*. He’s a murderer!
He didn’t come back, just like I told him to.
Good. 
That’s exactly what I wanted.
I need to—
“What the hell, Allie? Are you going to get out of there or not?” Logan yells from our bedroom.
I immediately leave the bathroom, feeling horrible for wasting a thought on Ethan.
Logan looks at me with a smile on his face. “You’ve finally lost a few pounds. You look so much hotter now, Allie!”
“Uh, thanks,” I say, tucking my hair behind my ear. 
Logan strides over to me, and the moment he’s close enough, he shoves me hard, sending me tumbling onto the bed. “Let’s take those clothes off,” he says. “You don’t need to be wearing so many layers in the house, Allie. The marks have faded, haven’t they?” 
“Yeah,” I reply, blinking rapidly as he begins to pull off my long-sleeved shirt. “Can we—”
“Are you going to deny me again, Allie? What’s wrong with you?” Logan sneers, pulling my skinny jeans off my body so roughly that he pulls my panties off with them.
“No, Logan. I just have a headache today,” I say, stroking his bare shoulder so he can ease his shoulders a little. Maybe he won’t be so aggressive with me today.
“Are you going to deny me again?” he asks coldly again, stepping back to his full height and glaring down at me. I place both my hands in front of my pussy, feeling self-conscious. “Do you even realize how much I’ve done for you? I’ve done everything for you, Alicent, protecting you, protecting our son. I bought this damn house for you. I’ve given you everything you could ever need. I’ve been working myself to the bone, like a slave, just to give you the best life possible. And you have the nerve to deny me? Honestly, I don’t think you even want this family back. Or your son’s happiness.”
“No, no, Logan. Of course, I do. I want both of you to be happy,” I say desperately, quickly kneeling on the bed in front of him and holding his hands. “I want our family together. I’m sorry, I, uh, I just have a headache, but I’m going to take some medicine.”
He shoves me back onto the bed, unbuttons his pants, and lets them fall. Then he strips off his underwear, revealing his hard dick. “You’re forgiven.” Logan positions his body between my legs. One of his hands squeezes my breast as he enters me, and the pain makes my back arch.
He works his hips. “Fuck, Allie! You’re so dry,” he grumbles. 
I squirm, trying to open my legs wider. “Logan, the lube is right there in the nightstand drawer. Can you get it? Please?” 
Logan doesn’t like it when I ask for the lube. Not when we were married and much less now. It always pisses him off, but I’m afraid my pussy will bleed again through small tears if I don’t use it. 
Logan pulls out roughly and spits in his hand. At least it’s enough that I don’t feel like I’m being ripped apart when he pushes back in, but it dries up quickly. Right away, a friction burn starts, and I have to grit my teeth to keep from making a sound.
“We don’t need the lube. You’ll be fine without it.”