Bonus Chapter 16

That gets her.
“I’m sorry,” she breathes out. And I can hear the ache in her words. “I failed you,” she says, staring out the party. “There is no excuse good enough to erase what I said.”
I bite my lip until it hurts. I know it’s difficult for her to say that. I feel it.
But then the next whisper of my usually so confident mate breaks my heart, “I’m so fucked up.”
Poppy’s head lifts. 
“You’re not!” I growl.
“I am,” she insists. “I push people away. I push my two most important people in the world away from me! I ruin everything. I can’t even talk without turning it into a war.”
I set Poppy on my one leg and reach for Lily’s hand before dragging her to sit on my other leg. “You’re hurting, Lil,” I say. “You’ve been hurting for years.”
Lily’s breath is coming in short bursts as she presses the heels of her hands to her eyes, seeming furious that they’re wet. “I didn’t mean to say all those fucking things. I didn’t mean to accuse you of choosing Poppy over me. It was so wrong of me, I’ve known you since we were kids, I’ve spent more time in my life with you than without you. I know what I said wasn’t true, but when you took my mom’s side, I—I snapped out!” she confesses. “And you were right, Az. Goddess! I know you were right, and it hurt me because I knew I was wrong, but I didn’t know what to do to make it be—”
“Shh. Breathe for me.” I drag her head to rest it on my shoulder. Poppy places her hand hesitantly on Lily’s thigh. “I know, my little Hurricane. I know.”
“I can’t believe I threw in your face that you didn’t care about me, after all the bad things I’ve done, and even so, you still wanted me back,” Lily cries. “When we were fighting and I was yelling, it was like another person was in my body, you know? Like this huge hatred had taken over me, and I was like a ghost, looking at the three of us from the outside, and all I could think was—What the hell is going on with me? Why don’t I just stop? I don’t feel what I’m saying, why do I keep insisting on hurting them?! I’m so fucked up! I’m the worst mate in the world. I don’t deserve any of you—”
“I’ll stop you right there!” I say firmly. “Stop self-destructing, Lil. Please. For my sake. Stop it. I need you. Poppy needs you. Okay?” 
“I’ll try, Az. I promise I’ll try,” she cries. 
I wipe her tears away and stroke her face. Feeling them sitting on my lap is the best feeling ever. “Fuck! I just would like to keep you always like this.” My thumb brushes her lower lip. “Or tie you both to the bed to ensure you don’t go anywhere anymore.” 
“Azzy!” Poppy says, glaring up at me. 
“I’m never going to stay where you put me,” Lily says with a hint of a smile. 
The gall. 
I sigh. “Too bad.” 
I spot Lily swallowing hard, turning her beautiful face away from me. “Ugh. I love you,” she mumbles, flicking her eyes toward me, back away. “Don’t I?” 
“Quite a bit, my Hurricane.” I smirk. “Rather reluctantly, too.” 
“Does that offend you?” 
She isn’t talking just about her love. We both know it. But I still answer like it was.
“No. I love how you can’t help yourself.” 
Lily releases a bitter laugh. A swear whispers past her perfect lips. 
She mindlinks me. And I know that it’s not because she can’t trust Poppy, but because she can’t voice those words. She fears too much. ‘I can’t lose you.’ 
‘You won’t.’ 
‘How do you know that? How can you be so sure?’ 
‘I won’t let you. There is no future in which you lose me, Hurricane.’ 
She sniffs, pressing her face against my neck.
Goddess... I love this she-wolf. And the truth is, I wouldn’t want it any other way. I love Lily because of her chaos, not in spite of it.
I can finally breathe. They’re both here. For a moment, we just breathe each other in a small bubble of easy silence, as if nothing more existed.

🐺 🐺 🐺
***Lily***

I stare silently at Poppy. When she notices me staring, she takes her hand off my leg as if aware it was still there.
Goddess, how could I hurt my angel? How could I?
“Angel, look at me,” I say. 
For a brief moment, I think she won’t obey, but her gaze flicks up and meets mine.
“I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but...” I blink hard. “Mom was right.”
Both of them say, “What?!”
I chuckle humorlessly. “Yeah. She was.” I swallow the lump in my throat. “Before I decided to run away, she asked me to go to the Diamond Claw pack with Wren, so my sister wouldn’t go alone.”
“You never told me that, Lil.” Az frowns.
“I know. It was right before I ran away. That day, Mom told me something strange, you know? She said I should go somewhere else because she felt I needed it. At the time, I thought she just wanted me as far away from her as possible. But now, I realize she was right.” I lock my eyes with Poppy’s. “If I hadn’t run away that night, I don’t know if I would have ever found you. Angel... Az and I always talk about how much we love the pack, but we always feel something was missing.” 
I look at Az, and he gives me a wink, his hand squeezing my hip. 
“But we always thought it was because we were too anxious to be the next Alpha and Luna of our pack, but now I realize that this void was you. It had your shape. It was you who we were missing in our lives. To complete us.” Her bright eyes fill with tears, and I hate myself for putting them there in the first place. “I’m sorry, baby. I shouldn’t have said such cruel things. Not to you. Az was right to scold me.”
“You mean that?” Her voice is low over the loud music, if I weren’t a werewolf and we were so close, I wouldn’t be able to hear her. “You don’t think...” She looks away, her voice cracking. “You don’t think I’m spineless?”
*Fuuuck*!
I cup her face with both of my hands. “No, angel. I don’t! Because you aren’t! Can’t you see that you have two super hard headed mates, and they’re both wrapped around your little finger? Because you have us just like that. I’m sorry for making you feel sad about what I said.”
To my surprise, Poppy lifts up a bit just enough to shyly press her lips against mine.
“I’m sorry, Angel. I’m so sorry! I’ll never hurt you again, I promise. You two are the most precious fucking things in my life,” I murmur between kisses. I feel Az’s strong warm arms wrap around us both. I feel so safe.
“What about the scared little rabbit part?” she asks between kisses.
“What?”
“You told me that you didn’t tell me about Cedar because you knew that it would make me scared like a little rabbit.”
“Oh, my sweet Angel. I’m sorry for saying that to you. I should have told you about him. I shouldn’t have hidden about your brother. I’ll never hide anything from both of you anymore.”
She kisses me back.
“But I really think you look like a little rabbit when you’re scared.”
She gasps. “Lily!”
The corners of my mouth lift up. “I’m sorry, but it’s the truth. Ask Az.” Poppy snaps her doe eyes at him, and he smirks.
“I love you, Sunshine, but you do look like a scared little rabbit when cornered.”
Her shoulder slumps. “You guys think I’m weak.”
“No,” we both say at the same time. 
Poppy draws back. “Well, if I look like a scared little rabbit, then you guys—” She crosses her arms. “You guys look, uh, uhm, look like—” We both look at her, waiting for her to say something mean that she supposes to think is bad, but the more she thinks, the more it becomes clear that she can’t. Her frustrated face is so adorable that I kiss her again.
“You guys look like big, bad wolves! Yeah.” She says between kisses. Az grabs her chin and turns her to kiss him.
“Do you forgive me, Angel?” I dare to ask. 
I don’t deserve it. I know I don’t deserve it.
“Yes,” she says breathlessly from Az’s kiss. “I couldn’t stay mad at you even if I tried. I love you, Li!”
*Li*.
My heart skips a beat.
“And you’re stuck with us. No more telling us you’re not good for us, okay? You’re perfect!”
My eyes fill with tears again. Ugh. How can she be so sweet? I was the one who did something wrong, and somehow she’s the one comforting me.
I definitely don’t deserve my angel.
Her kindness is too much, I have to protect her from this world. They can’t take advantage of her.
“Your kindness towards me is ridiculously persistent. And annoying,” I say. 
“Well, it has to work extra mega hard to beat your stubbornness, Li.” 
Az laughs, then Poppy starts giggling, leaning her head on his strong chest. I can’t help but laugh, too.
Until I’m not laughing anymore, and then I’m caught off guard when Az’s huge hand cups the back of my neck possessively before threading his fingers in my hair. He pulls hard, and I gasp. 
It hurt, but the possessiveness in it spurs me on even further. To tease him, I toy with the fabric near the center of his thighs. 
It’s so warm. His cock’s already hard. 
Oh, fuck.
“This fight’s officially over and I’m fucking sick of being without both of you,” Az growls before dropping his lips to mine.