Chapter 67

“What?” She looks up at me in confusion before standing up abruptly from the floor, almost swaying on her foot. “Have you lost your mind? Seriously, Ethan! Joking around at this time? This is not even funny.”
“I’m not joking. You’re going to marry me.”
“*Marry*?” Her brow furrows as her index finger points at me. “*You*?”
“Yes.”
“And you’re not joking?”
“No. I would never joke about that. Believe me.” She takes a step back, wiping away her tears. I continue, “I can’t promise that you won’t get hurt...” I tell her slowly. “Because I can’t predict the future. But I do promise to try really hard to avoid that.” 
I talked to Kral. I would never make a decision like that without talking to my wolf first. And he allowed it. It’s the first time Kral let me get close to a female other than just for sex. But he has *one condition*. And I’m sure Little Dove won’t like it. It will probably break her heart.
“But...” Little Dove blinks a few times before going on, “I don’t want you to get hurt either.”
Poor human. “I can protect myself, okay?” I say. 
She nods shakily, but says otherwise, “I can’t do this. I’m sorry, but this is a really stupid idea.” 
Fuck. I wish I could tell her about my world. “Sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith. Trust me, Little Dove. I’m here to catch you. Nothing will happen to you as long as you have my protection.” 
“How would marrying you solve all of this? Or protect me?” she says, rubbing her face. I can see how exhausted and desperate she is. I know desperation better than most. I know the lengths to which I will go to protect my family.
Reaching up, I cup her chin with my hand so she looks up at me. Goddess, she’s so beautiful. My blood is warmer than hers, yet I want to soak in her sweet warmth. Even if for just a little bit, so when I return to my cold, numbing life without her, I don’t freeze over.
My voice is firm when I say, “I’m your best choice.”
Little Dove, I’m already certain, is not a woman who likes to have things handed to her easily. She’s stubborn. And sweet. Too sweet for my liking. She would never put me or anyone else in danger because of her. Hell, I can see in her green gaze that she would rather die than let that happen. 
If I want her to do what I say, I have to hit her where it hurts the most. In her good heart. So I say, “They only found you after you got divorced. What makes you think that running away from here will throw off those murders? You’ll be much safer here with your son than anywhere else. Well, I suppose you’re not going to abandon your little son behind, right?” I look at her coldly. “Az would be devastated to find out that you abandoned him. The best thing you can do is stay here and not leave my pa, I mean, uh, not leave Blackmoon. We have tight security here, and I guarantee that no one will find you or your son while you’re in my territory.” 
“But why would I have to marry you for that?” 
“Do you want them to find you by your last name? I doubt they know where you live. Your address is likely unknown to them. Otherwise, they’d have done something by now.” 
“Uh, that makes sense, I guess...”
I don’t add that it would be easier for her to just change her name because, to be honest, I’m grasping at any chance to keep her.
“What about Logan?” she says, her voice dripping with worry. “He’ll be in danger!”
“You’ll have to tell him. He’s an adult, he can handle himself.”
She gasps. “Ethan! I can’t tell him this!” she says in horror.
“I don’t fucking care what you tell him. Lie. I couldn’t care less. But neither you nor Az are leaving here anymore. Do you understand? I won’t have it. Do you remember what the killers looked like?”
In a soft voice, she lowers her face and sadly says, “Um, yes... Unfortunately.” I move my hand to cup her face. “But I don’t know their names.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll find out who they are and where they are. You can’t live in this misery.”
She bites her bottom lip, and my eyes go straight into them. “But what about everyone, Ethan?”
“What about everyone?”
“Your family. Vi. Everyone! Everyone here has complete trust in you, Ethan—they even refer to you as *Alpha*!” I try really hard not to grin. If only she knew. “What will Vi think of me? What if everyone hates me?”
“If that’s the problem, then it’s solved. Because my sister and everyone in Blackmoon already like you.” 
“That’s not true!”
Well, it’s. So far, I haven’t heard a single complaint about her. It’s quite the opposite. Must be her aura.
“How could anyone not like you?” I say with a small smile. 
“Easily. Ask Kelly.” 
I sigh. “That has nothing to do with you. And everything to do with me. Stop worrying. Everything will be fine. I promise.” 
“Right. Sure. Uh-huh.” She takes a deep breath before sighing. Then Little Dove says, her voice small. “You might feel obligated to protect me and all, but this is my issue to solve.” 
“That’s bullshit, Little Dove. You know I can help.” 
I want to say more, but I can’t. I need to be careful with her, I think to myself. Little Dove is intelligent, that much is obvious. She’s been living here for a while now. I have to be careful what I say. Or else she’ll get suspicious. She’s too observant. My lips pressed together.
Her throat bobs, eyes turned down. “This is my problem. Alone.” There isn’t venom in her tone. Instead, she sounded sad—resigned. 
“That’s the fucking point. You’re not alone anymore,” I say, taking a step back, needing to do something with my protective, possessive energy. Because that’s what my wolf and I feel for her. 
Protective. Her past story has been like a punch to the gut, stripping me of oxygen. 
When I find those fuckers who killed her family and are after her, I will kill them. When I say they won’t come for her again. They won’t come for her again. 
“Quit trying to deny me. What more do I have to tell you to get that I will protect you from the shit you’re running from?” 
Unshed tears line the rim of her eyes, and she studies my face. The emotion in her expression guts me because it looks like a mournful goodbye. “Ethan... I don’t want you in my mess. I don’t want you to get hurt. They’re cruel.” It comes out as a whisper.  
I stare deep into her eyes. “Not as cruel as I am when it comes to someone I care about.” I feel a shiver run through her body, and without more details, I hope she understands that I’m not bluffing.
It is there as I look at her sad doe-eyes and bright aura that I begin to wonder if what I feel for Alicent is something more than I care to admit. I dare not slip into those thoughts, though, because I know fate and the Goddess don’t give so freely. It lures us like a siren song, pulling us towards a deep, inevitable pain. Alicent is a liability. A weakness in my mission to break my curse. Yet, the radiance she gives off is fucking addicting. A warmth that reminds me how cold and numb my curse can be sometimes. 
That’s why I said I’d marry her. Because I’m addicted to how she makes me feel. Plus, as frustrating as it gets, my last lead didn’t lead me anywhere. 
By sheer of fucking coincidence, we stumbled upon someone in my nightclub selling rare, hard-to-craft potions by witches. The male told us who gave it to him to sell, and we followed the trail back. Then it led to a vast, serene forest, its clearings perfectly framed for gazing at the moon. 
An ideal spot for brewing potions beneath its phases. 
A place too perfect not to be used during a Black Moon.
When Vi and I arrived at the territory, it didn’t seem like anyone had been there for years. Even though Vi’s now delving into why the lead came to nothing, pushing herself far beyond what she should as she always does, I thought I could be *selfish* with the time I have before my curse is lifted. Like marrying her.
Her breath came out in a large sigh. Tears enter her eyes. “I’m so tired, Ethan.” 
“I got you.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, Little Dove. I’ll protect you. No one is getting to you. No one will hurt you. I promise.”
She places her hand in my much larger one that is cupping her face. Closing her eyes, she takes in a shuddering breath before opening them again.
“Come here.” I reach out and pull her close, pressing her against my chest before scooping her up into my arms. With steady steps, I carry her to the bed and sit on its edge. I lift her, positioning her so she’s straddling me.
Little Dove’s so consumed by worry that she doesn’t seem to notice I’ve got her. “Stop. Everything will be all right.”
I cup her beautiful face with my hand before raising it up, feeling the way she is trembling. 
“Hey, hey,” I say soothingly. “Look at me. That’s it.” 
I stare into her meadow-green-colored eyes, and I see the devotion there. Her faith in me is breathtaking. When she looks at me with such love and belief, I can’t help but be taken aback for a moment. Little Dove doesn’t want to marry me because she doesn’t think I can protect her. No. And that speaks volumes. She doesn’t want to marry me because she’s afraid of what might happen to me. 
I hope to Goddess that this tiny woman never sees me clearly, or she will turn and run so fast and so far away from me that I’d never see her again.
“Everything will be all right, Little Dove,” I say firmly. “I’ll make sure it will. I promise.”
“I hope so. I really do.” Leaning, she buries her face in my neck and I hold her tight. Goddess, she feels so right tucking onto my lap, I just want to wrap her up in the protection of my arms.
When she looks back at me, she takes a deep breath before saying, “Fine.” Little Dove sticks her hand out to me, and I instantly let my palm meet hers. Thank Goddess I can’t feel the dainty bone in her wrist against the pads of my fingers like before. “I guess I’ll marry you then,” she says with a cute, shy smile.
I smirk, trying so fucking hard to not lean in and kiss her. I look at her plumpy lips. My face is only inches from hers. 
But after that crazy emotional rollercoaster of a conversation about her past, I can see that she’s exhausted, and part of me just wants to tuck her into bed. 
Question is, which bed?
Mine or hers?
I stare into her eyes once more, knowing that the love she so wishes I could express for her will never come. 
Nothing will grow in my cold heart for her. 
Nothing will pierce through the veil of my curse. 
Not even the sweet warmth of her love. 
My heart is impenetrable. 
I can’t love her. 
I simply can’t love.
But I’ll protect her and hope that in some way Little Dove sees this as love.  
Even though I *mean* what I’m about to say, I deserve to be slapped by every female on Earth. “Before we continue, there’s something I need to tell you.” I clear my throat. “There’s just one thing. I have one condition for marrying you.” 
Her eyes widen as my words seem to make sense to her. “What would it be?”