Chapter 48

“Alpha? Where are you going? Alpha Ethan? Alpha!” I hear Kelly ask as I make my way back to the packhouse.
However, when I return to where she was, only the mess of her papers remain on the coffee table in the living room. Little Dove is walking up the stairs. Her aura exudes hints of sadness.
“Little Dove, wait.” I call to her but she doesn’t stop walking up the stairs. She doesn’t even look at me. “Alicent. Come here.”
I use my Alpha voice. The one that garners instant obedience from any werewolf close by. So, no one is more shocked than me when she defies me. 
What the hell? “Little Dove, I’m talking to you. Stop ignoring me.” Once more, I command her with my Alpha tone. 
Yet, she continues walking as though I am not talking to her.
Fuck. ‘Perhaps she’s scared you would hurt her more,’ Kral says. ‘She’s hurt. Her aura screams it.’
‘She knows I would never!’ I say to my wolf as I rest my hand on the railing at the bottom of the stairs.
‘Alpha, we’re going to be late,’ Kelly mindlinks me.
Fuck my life. I slap the railing before I make my way back to the car.
I totally forgot I had this event to attend to. Vi told me she couldn’t go for me this time. I’m used to inviting Kelly to these stupid events. This time, I wanted to ask Little Dove, but she said she had a routine that worked for her on the weekends and that she wasn’t going to change it. That’s why I asked Kelly instead.
If Alicent is upset with me, it’s all her fault. She could have come with me instead of Kelly. She was the one who refused me.
Clenching my jaw, I get back in the car and start driving.
“Alpha Griffin will be there, I heard he...” Kelly starts to say.
Kelly used to tag along with me to these stupid events, but this time it feels wrong. Well, more wrong than the last ones.

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I’m sitting at this round, linen-draped table, staring blankly at the wine glass in front of me while the same old tired speeches go on up on stage. Kelly is talking to some socialite whose name I didn’t even bother remembering, she is probably prattling about the designer of her dress or her last yacht trip—I’m not sure. I haven’t heard a word. I give a polite nod once in a while, and that seems to be enough for them. Around us, chandeliers cast a pretentious golden glow, bouncing off every perfectly polished champagne flute and reflecting from the sea of diamond bracelets and designer suits. 
Some CEO is on stage now, droning on about how this fundraiser is “really making a difference.” It could really make a difference if they started looking for newly turned wolves to help, like Azrael, who are feeling lost right now. However, only part of these people here are werewolves, and the other part barely knows the world they live in, like Little Dove. I grin at that thought, eyes scanning the room of obliviously wealthy donors sipping their wine, each nodding earnestly as if they’re single-handedly saving the world just by agreeing.
Kelly touches my arms as she continues to talk to the other woman. I once thought in my most desperate days that maybe if I couldn’t break the curse, it would be good for my pack to have a Luna. I could even choose Kelly as my chosen mate, I know she would be thrilled to take on the role. It’s no secret that Kelly wants to be Blackmoon’s Luna. However, besides the fact that I don’t feel anything for her, my wolf doesn’t like her and would not accept her either.
After a few seconds, I yank my arm away from her, repulsed by the lack of sensation. It’s an unnerving thing to watch someone touch you and just feel nothing. Well, I haven’t felt this way lately. I can feel Little Dove’s warm touch on my skin, unlike Kelly’s. But Little Dove is a distraction. An irritatingly unwelcomed one. Because I feel like I’m betraying my fated mate with her.
That’s why I like Kelly better. I’d rather be numb.
A faint clearing of a throat at the mic finally catches my attention. My name echoes through the ballroom, and I watch heads turn as people start clapping politely. I push back my chair, ignoring whatever Kelly says, and rise with the barest hint of a smile. Time to collect my award and play the part yet again. Hopefully, I might have my fated mate with me next time.

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***Alicent***

I wipe away my tears, feeling more pathetic than ever. I ignored Ethan like a bratty child. But how can anyone judge me for acting without thinking properly right now? Besides, I’m afraid of what Kelly might do. Last time, my head hurt for two weeks, and I think I still have the aftereffects of that push. I can’t afford for her to push me again just because I get close to her Alpha. Alpha. Alpha. Alpha, I imitate the way they call him here. What a stupid way to call someone. 
I hear someone knocking on my bedroom door and go to see who it is. Az is asleep, but he’s such a heavy sleeper that I doubt he’ll wake up.
“Hey, Allie, I—” Vi pauses for a moment, looking at my face. It’s probably red and swollen from all the pity party. “Are you okay?”
“Uh, yeah.”
“Allie.” Vi uses the same stern tone she uses with Lily, and then she repeats my name much more softly.
I close the bedroom door behind me so I don’t wake Az.
“What happened, honey?” Vi asks me. “Come with me.” She places her arm around my shoulders and leads me to the living room on the bedroom level. “Why were you crying?” she asks as we sit on one of the green suede sofas.
“I,” I try to say but the tears in my eyes make me pause. “Never mind,” I settle with that. I remember her telling me to forget about her brother. As I should. Yet, here we are.
But it seems Vi can read me more than I thought. “It’s about Ian. Am I right?” I almost wait for her to say ‘I told you so’. “What did he do?” she asks with a sigh.
“No, he didn’t do anything.”
“Is it because he went with Kelly to the event?”
My chin trembles. “And why wouldn’t he? She’s beautiful and tall, and they look perfect together,” I start to cry like I’m half my son’s age.
“Allie!” Vi runs her hand up and down my back. “You know they’re not together, right? Kelly’s just Ian’s back up plan to go to these events when I can’t.”
“Oh, come on. You know damn well they’re more than that!” 
My vision is blurry with tears, but I see her biting her bottom lip. “Okay, they fuck sometimes, but that’s it. To be honest, I don’t think he had anything to do with her since you moved in with us.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Like I told you, Ian can’t, I mean, doesn’t want a relationship. And trust me, he doesn’t want anything serious with Kelly,” Vi says, then she tilts her head. “To tell you the truth, he seems to have more feelings for you than for her.”
Yeah. Like anger.
“You’re just saying that to make me feel better! You don’t have to. I’m not blind. There’s no way Ethan would want anything to do with me over her. Look at me. No one would say we’re together. Even though I’ve changed, I’m still so ugly—”
“Hey!” Vi interrupts me. “You’re beautiful, Allie. And I don’t want you talking shit about yourself.” 
I sniff. “Sorry.”
“Don’t worry. I’m your best friend. It’s my right as your best friend to tell you when you’re being an idiot,” Vi declares.
I giggle. “Aw! You *are* my best friend!” I say, wearing a smile. “Ahh, I feel so horrible.” I wipe away my tears. “I treated Ethan so badly. I think I should apologize to him.”
“You’re probably wrong, but go on.”
“Remember a few days ago when I found out my ex-husband was getting married again? I acted like a bitch to him when he just tried to talk to me about what I was going to do this weekend. He mocked me, saying if I didn’t get tired of doing the same thing over and over again with that cocky grin of his.”
Vi blinks at me, seeming confused. “He asked you that?” I nod and then her eyes widen and she slaps my knee. 
“Ouch!”
“Allie! He wanted to know if you were free to go with him to the event he went to today!” 
I pause, taken aback. “Really?” 
“Yeah! Okay, I confess he asked in the dumbest way he could, but yeah! He was trying to invite you to the event. Knowing my brother, I’m pretty sure he just wanted to know if you were really free before he risked asking you that. No offense, but you don’t know how to say no to people.”
I raise an eyebrow, trying not to smile but failing. *Was he actually fishing for a date invitation?* “Does that mean he wanted me to go with him to this event?” 
Vi’s grin widens, and I’m pretty sure I have my answer. But I’m relieved when she says, “Yes!”
“Oh God, I feel so stupid right now for saying I had plans and would stick with them because they work out perfectly for my weekend. I even asked rhetorically why would I change them? Ugh!” 
And now he’s there with Kelly!
Vi laughs. “Seriously. I don’t know which of you two is dumber. Ian for not asking you straight away or you for crying over him not inviting you when you told him you already had plans.”
“Hey! Don’t laugh at other people’s misfortunes!” 
She laughs louder, making me laugh along with her. 
My laughter slows down when I recall that even if he did ask me, I wouldn’t be able to accept his invitation. For a brief moment, I almost forgot. I couldn’t go with him and it’s not because I wouldn’t have fancy clothes to go to an event like that, but because I can’t expose myself. Photos of these events are featured on a bunch of websites. I can’t risk them finding me.

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From where I’m sitting, I can see the moon almost full in the starry sky through the living room window. I thought Vi was going to sleep in her room since it was already late when she said goodbye, but then she said she was going to a friend’s house nearby. Today, the mansion is much quieter than usual. Everyone must be asleep by now.
I try to read the chapter of the book I picked up here in the living room one more time. I zone out again. It’s quite late, I should go to sleep, but sleep hasn’t come yet.
Suddenly, Ethan appears in the living room, he’s probably heading to his room. My head snaps in his direction and then I look back at the book in my hands with a grin on my face.
He thought about *me* before asking Kelly to go to the event with him. I pretend to read the book, even though I feel him approaching where I am sitting. My smile gets bigger when I notice Kelly’s not with him.
“Where is Kelly?” I hear myself ask him. Ugh. Why can’t I be cool once? Is it too much to ask?
I lift my head to look at him, and Ethan is there with that half-smirk that somehow makes my knees a little wobbly. I curl my lips. He probably heard my jealousy in the tone of my question.
Ethan sits down next to me, and after a moment, he says, “I like this book.”
I close the book to read the title on the book cover again, completely forgetting it was in my hand. “Good for you.”
“She stayed in Summerville,” Ethan says.
I control myself as much as I can not look at him as I ask, “Didn’t you want to stay there too—” I clear my throat “—with her.”
“I prefer the Blackmoon’s peace because the moon is almost full,” Ethan says, turning his face toward the open window.
Only I laugh at his joke. I stand up and lean my elbows on the window. “The moon is really beautiful today,” I say. “You can’t see the stars in the sky like this in Summerville.”
Even though I’m afraid of Kelly’s crazy arm strength, now that I’ve found out that she and Ethan are not serious, I can’t help but feel hope about him and me.
I sense him approaching behind me. Then he stands beside me. Seemingly unaware, Ethan begins to stroke my forearm, resting on the windowsill as he admires the stars in the sky as well.
When Ethan’s gaze shifts down to look at me, my mind goes numb. Gosh, he’s so sexy. And he has to stop looking at me like this. Seriously. He really has to stop it. These are my last pair of clean panties, and right now, they are soaking through. 
The warm and soft caress of his big hand on my forearm is enough to give me goosebumps. Is he trying to make me self-combust? Is it possible to come just from this alone?
He says something, but I’m not even paying attention. Then his smile widens, and I try to snap out of the spell he’s putting on me. “What did you say?” 
He looks at my mouth and bites his bottom lip as if he’s trying to control himself. Then he releases it and blinks hard. “You should go to sleep.” 
I have to school my face to keep from showing my disappointment. “Okay,” I say and turn to leave.
But then, with a force that I do not expect, my body spins around, and the cold living room wall presses into my back. Ethan steps toward me, diminishing the space between us and placing both his hands on the wall behind me above my head. Caging me.
Ethan looks down at me. His dark, onyx eyes search mine with a heat that makes my breath catch. I feel like prey again. Prey that is stupidly content with its hunter.
His face is so close that I can see his muscles pop when he clenches his jaw. He tilts his head, his lips dangerously close, hovering, almost grazing mine.
“You always make it so hard to walk away, Little Dove,” Ethan murmurs, his voice low and rough, just a breath away. His gaze flickers down to my mouth, and I can feel myself drawn in more and more, pulled like a magnet to the darkness in his eyes. Ethan’s waiting, teasing. Daring me to close the last inch between us.