Chapter 43

Her force totally catches me off guard. 
I’m flabbergasted. 
The room spins slightly, and for a moment, I can’t comprehend the superhuman strength she just displayed. All I can focus on is the dull ache in my head as she slowly approaches me.
“I know you’re just after his money and premium sperm,” Kelly says. 
*Premium sperm*? What the hell?
“But don’t forget that you are easy to break.” Kelly looks down at me on the floor as she says through clenched teeth, “Stay. Away. From. Ethan.” 
My arms act on instinct, pulling me back, while my eyes stay fixed on her in horror, fearing that if I blink, she will strike me again. However, the wall behind me blocks me from going any further.
“Or else,” she goes on. “Next time, this little push will come from somewhere much higher.”
And then she’s quickly gone, or maybe I’ve had my eyes closed for too long.
I blink, trying to clear my vision as her words leave me momentarily dazed. 
I have to find another place to live.

🐺 🐺 🐺

“I’m not sure about this, Vi. I don’t usually shop where you do,” I say nervously, biting my lip.
“It’s on me, Allie! My treat for you helping me,” Vi says as she stares at her collection of luxury handbags, trying to choose which one to wear. She takes a navy blue purse and places it next to her dress, which is slightly darker.
“Well, if you’re going to go with that logic, then I should be the one treating you since you’ve been so helpful,” I point out. 
“No worries. You already settled your debt with cookies.” She gives me a mischievous smile. 
I shake my head, but I make a mental note to bake more cookies for her tomorrow.
“What do you think about this one?” 
“It’s beautiful! Totally casual,” I narrow my eyes to her playfully. 
She giggles before grabbing her things and adding to the blue purse.
When I asked her what to wear, she said to wear something *casual*. I should have known that my casualness is completely different from hers.
I don’t think Vi knows how to dress casually. Vi couldn’t wear casual clothes even if she tried. 
I get up. My tailbone is still hurting from when Kelly pushed me two weeks ago. I still struggle to process the shock of the force of her shove. She’s so slim!
I’ve had a headache the whole first week, but even though I felt sore all over, I haven’t told Vi about what happened. I don’t want to get between her and her friend. I guess If Vi had to pick a side, she would definitely choose Kelly over me since Kelly is her friend first.
Since I hate lying, instead of telling Vi the truth when she realized something had happened, I agreed to go shopping with her, after saying no over and over. She doesn’t get why I turned it down. I just don’t have much left after bills, and where Vi shops is way out of my budget.
Even though Vi’s treating me to clothes, and she said I won’t spend a thing, I’m still gonna pick up some stuff for Az. I want to spend the money Logan left in the account before he does.
Maggie’s taken Az and Lily out early to hang out at the waterfall with her son, so we’re free to go to Summerville without the kids.
It’s weird having people to help me out. I’m not used to it. I’m still getting used to not feeling guilty about leaving without my son.
As we make our way out, we pass Ethan. He’s walking toward us, heading to his office.
“Let’s go, Allie,” Vi says, grabbing my arm to make me walk faster while she turns her face away from Ethan.
“It’s not my fault Jordan doesn’t do a good job,” Ethan says as we pass him.
Vi lets go of me and turns to her brother. “Seriously, Ethan? Why would you give him the position if you were going to threaten to take it away?” She snarls. “Now he thinks it’s my fault.”
“That’s bullshit,” Ethan snarls back. I turn my face back and forth between the two of them until they seem to notice I’m here, too.
Then Vi clenches her hands and locks her gaze with Ethan. The message passes wordlessly between them, making my stomach knot tighter. There is anger there. They don’t say a word but seem to reach each other just by their eyes.
“Are you guys… okay?” I ask hesitantly.
Ethan gives me his sexy smirk, and Vi gives him a look. “Yes,” she says, much calmer than before.
That’s it? Did they stop fighting after a conversation with... their eyes?
They stare at each other for a moment longer again before Ethan says, “I’ll think about it,” he says to her and then turns to me, his eyes roaming my body in a way that makes me blush.
Vi looks from him to me and then back to her brother. She crosses her arms and displays a smirk on her lips. “Totally over,” she says to him, shaking her head. “Oh, shoot! I forgot my keys!” Vi turns to go back to get her keys, and I’m about to follow, but she stops me. “I’ll be right back.”
I look at her brother and then back at her and whisper just to her, “You’re throwing me to the wolf!”
She giggles and starts walking quickly. “If you only knew!” Vi singsongs.
I shake my head before locking eyes with Ethan. “Where are you going?” he asks, frowning. 
“I’m going to Summerville with Vi,” I reply, fidgeting by placing my hands in my front pocket, then removing them and adjusting my bag strap from one side to the other. I forget how to even stand still around this man. He really messes with my head! 
“Absolutely not,” he says deadpan.
“What?” I ask, tearing my eyes away from his bulging arms. “Oh, God. I called you Alpha once, and you think you can boss me around, too?” I tease him. I’ve been saving this tease for weeks but haven’t seen him to use it.
“Stop calling me that!” Ethan says right away.
“Oh, so you don’t like it,” I say playfully. “That’s so good to know!”
“Little Dove...” he says in a deep voice. Hell, I’m going to need to change my underwear.
“I told you if you need to—”
“Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go!” Vi says, interrupting him as she rushes over to us, then links arms with me and drags me along.
I giggle, “See ya!”
Vi giggles too, but out of nowhere, she yells at him with a smile without looking back, “I know!”
“You two are crazy,” I say. I give up trying to understand them.

🐺 🐺 🐺

I open a message from Logan saying that he can’t see Az this weekend because he’ll be really busy. The reason? Chelsea is having a party at her house.
“Oh my, Moon Goddess, is this the same bullshit as this morning?” Vi steps around me and stares down at my phone in my hands.
“These past two weeks, Logan has been so kind to me...” I say. I showed her the message he had sent me earlier. “These are the times I miss being married to him, he loved me—”
“Is the love in the room with us?” Vi cuts me off. “From what you’ve told me about your relationship with him, you gave him love, but he didn’t give you the time of day!” 
I throw my phone in my bag and start browsing through the sweaters. Vi follows me and looks at them. “I know... Sometimes I wonder if he misses me too...” I say, avoiding looking her in the eyes.
“He cheated on you! And frankly, Allie, after you showed me what he looks like, you have no business being like this for such an average guy!” Vi says, grabbing an ivory sweater.
I laugh. Well, she’s right. Compared to Ethan, Logan doesn’t stand a chance.
My phone vibrates and I quickly grab it from my bag. Vi doesn’t spare a glance at my way but she says, “Okay, girl. Go on with your creepy behavior.”
“It could be Maggie!” I say, but it is just spam.
“I like this one for you,” Vi says excitedly, lifting up a silk dress with an amazing flow.
“Wow! That’s so beautiful!” I say. I’m sure my eyes lit up. I glance at the price tag. “Such a shame I just have two kidneys!”
Vi laughs, taking the dress and heading towards the fitting room. “I told you. It’s on me!” 
She goes into a room with a green dress to try on as I enter another room.
I wear the dress she chose. The silk of the dress touches my skin in such a pleasant way that I don’t think I’ll ever want to take it off again. I leave the room to look at myself in the large mirror next to it while Vi is still in hers.
As I run my hand over the silk dress once more, I admire my glossy, fire red nails, turning my hand to catch the light. Apparently, it has taken just one day of pampering for me to become a materialistic woman. And, honestly? It’s empowering. Who knew that a little pop of color could make me feel like I’ve got my life together? It’s just nail polish, but suddenly I’m feeling better with myself.
“Oh, Allie!” Vi says when she sees me. “You look beautiful!”
I glance at the dress again in the mirror. “It’s stunning!” I say, pausing for a moment. “I don’t even know the last time I went out shopping or had this much fun. I’m genuinely happy. It’s been a rare thing to say since my family died,” I find myself confessing.
Vi looks at me with worried eyes through the mirror as she approaches.
I run my hands again through the silk dress and tuck them into the hidden pocket. “Az would have loved to have my brothers as he grew up. They were so sweet and snarky.” I smooth my hand over the soft silk and smile, feeling the story come alive all over again. “When I was eight, one of my older brothers, who was eleven and was always in his own world, tripped, and his orange juice splashed right across the front of my dress. Mom had saved for months to buy this dress, and I felt like a princess. The dress was so silky, just like this one.” I say with a smile. “I was so horrified. But my brother was more. He looked down at the mess he’d made. ‘I’ll fix it, Allie! I promise!’ he said, and in a way that only a kid can, he actually believed he could. He ran to get a bar of soap, scrubbing at the stain with a serious look on his face. He tried everything to make it up to me. Finally, he looked at me with these big, guilty eyes and whispered, ‘I’m really sorry, Allie!’” I mimic his voice and then stop, feeling a warmth bubble up in my chest, half-bitter, half-sweet. “But as I stood there watching him, something inside me softened. And somehow, the dress didn’t matter as much anymore. I hugged him, stained dress and all, because he was my big brother, and I didn’t want him to feel bad.” I pause, the words sticking in my throat a bit.
My fingers linger on the silk. I realize my hand is slightly shaken. 
“He was my closest brother... Gosh, how I miss him!” I say, letting out a shaky laugh. Vi’s hand rests over my shoulder, but I’m hardly aware of it. “But unlike that stain on the dress, he's gone,” I say quietly. My nose starts to sting, but I sniff it and any threat of tears away.
“What was his name?” Vi asks.
I lift my eyes to look at her through the mirror. Way to kill the mood! “His name was Cedar.”
“Cedar,” Vi repeats his name. I caught her brown eyes turning almost black as they dilate in an impressive way through the mirror. “That’s... That’s a beautiful name,” she says after blinking a few times.
“When we get to the Blackmoon, I’ll take you to this hidden spot. Flowers everywhere, like a sea of colors. There is an old cabin there but,” she frowns for a moment before continuing. “You’ll see why it’s my favorite spot. And right there, there’s this enormous cedar tree. My favorite tree as well!” 
A cedar tree. I smile. “Thanks, Vi. I'd love to see it,” I say, hugging her.
I can still see their faces in my mind, but I can’t hear their voices anymore. Maybe if I talk about my family with Az, I’d hear their voices, their laughter, again. Maybe if I stop avoiding their memories, they’d get brighter, not fade away. But unfortunately, the thought of my family sours my gut, as it always does. I wonder when I’d be able to look back at my mom fondly without the memory of her choking on her own blood in my arms. 
I shake my head. “What did you say?” I ask Vi. I wasn’t paying attention.
"I was saying—" Vi peeks at my hair before continuing. "You know what? You need to change that hair color, like now.”
"No, no, no, no, no, Vi!" I say. “I can’t!”
“Yes, you can! I love you, Allie, but this color is just bad on you. I said what I said!” she says, shrugging. “Let’s go. Let’s make sure your hair matches this gorgeous dress!”

🐺 🐺 🐺
***Alpha Ethan***

From the trail, I spot them, for human eyes they’re just dots from this distance, but I can see them as I can hear their laughter mixing with the sound of the waterfall crashing nearby. 
As I was driving near the waterfall, Josh asked me to pick up Maggie and the kids.
I watch Josh and Maggie’s son, Lily, and Azrael, dart around in the open, their carefree shouts echoing through the trees. When I approach them, just as I’m about to call out, I see Lily—a flash of pink and pigtails darting too close to the edge of the rocks. And then her foot slips.
Before Lily even hits the ground, Azrael lunges toward her with a horror worried face. But then, something impossible happens. I nearly trip over myself. Azrael's outline blurs, and in a split second, where the boy stood, a wolf appears.