Chapter 74

***Alicent***

I have to confess. I’ve become lazy and careless. In the last few weeks, I’ve almost forgotten about the imminent danger that was hanging over my head. My body seems to be completely dependent on Ethan now. He went to Summerville today because he was worried about Vi, and I already miss him terribly, as if I had a freaking addiction. I’ve even noticed that I got a few pounds in the last few days.
I’ve also noticed that it isn’t only my weight that has changed. Before, I used to not care about the clothes I wore, partly because I, well, didn’t have the money for them, but now, I always want to dress nicely and presentably. This has done me good after years of dressing in poorly made clothes. Boy, I’m going to sound really futile, but I’ve recently found out that there’s nothing more powerful than wearing a matching bra and panties. I feel sexy. I feel good about myself. And I feel even better when night comes and, like a wild animal being let out of his cage, Ethan savagely pulls the set off me with that dark heat in his gaze. 
So, is this what it means to be happy? Is this what it means to rely on a partner for your safety? God, this feeling of protection is so good and so easy to get used to. While it scares me a little, I wouldn’t trade it for anything in this world. And frankly, it’s all I want. But still, this feeling that something is going to happen and ruin all my happiness won’t stop lingering in my stomach. Especially today. Today was the day I had this bad feeling growing the most, as if something bad was close.
But I don’t want to think about it too much. Maybe if I ignore it, this feeling will eventually go away.
Ethan and I agreed last night that in a week we’ll get married. There was no way we could do this weekend because it’s Lily’s birthday party.
I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. Shoot. It’s Logan. I have to tell him. It’s about time to tell him that I’m getting married. I owe it to him. “Maggie, can you please take the cake out of the oven in ten minutes?” I ask. “I need to take this call.”
“Sure thing, honey. You can go,” she answers with a smile.
I make my way to the living room and rest my elbows on the countertop of the big open window. Outside, the colorful garden with its many flowers is vivid in the bright sun.
“Logan? Hi!”
“Hey, Allie.”
“How are you? Has everything been okay?” I ask, almost fishing to see if he’s safe. However, I guess if he wasn’t, he wouldn’t be calling me.
“Yeah. I’ve just been really busy lately. So, Az can’t come over this weekend yet.”
Oh, thank God. “Oh, no, that’s... sad. Um, listen, I wanted to tell you something,” I trailer off.
“What is it?”
“I’m getting married.”
“What?” he yells on the other end. “Allie, say that again... I think there’s something wrong with the connection because I heard you say you’re getting married.” 
I clear my throat, trying not to smile. “No, no. You got it totally right.” 
He’s silent for a moment. “Are you marrying Ethan?” 
“Yes. Who else would be?” I chuckle. 
“You’re sure, Allie?” Logan asks. For a moment, his voice sounds worried. I was expecting him to make a fuss, but he’s acting weird. 
“Yes. Why do you keep asking? I want to be with Ethan. I love him, Logan.”
Oh shit. 
Oh fuck. 
Have I just blurted that out? 
I haven’t even told Ethan that I love him yet, and out of nowhere, I tell Logan. 
Wait, I love him.
God, I’m such a dork. I’m realizing just now, right here, that I love him. I love Ethan.
Oh my God. Oh my God.
“Oh my God... I love him!” I say absently.
There is a moment of silence as I freak out in my mind about my new discovery until Logan barks, “Enough!”
“Logan, you’re with Chelsea. What’s the matter if I’m with someone else?”
“So it is that. Are you marrying him just to punish me? Just to show me in my face that you found someone else?”
“What?” I ask, frowning. “No. Of course not, Logan. This has nothing to do with you.”
“You’re still mad at me for my engagement with Chelsea?”
“Logan, you have every right to do whatever you want with your life. Just like me. We’re not together anymore.”
“Did you mean that?” Logan asks. He has the nerve to sound *hurt*. “Do you really love *that* man?”
“Yes. But I didn’t say that to make you angry.” 
“Has it ever crossed your mind that it’s not easy for me to know that you’re going to marry someone else, Allie? We were married for ten years, for God’s sake. Didn’t that mean anything to you?”
“Yes, it meant something to me,” I say in a quiet voice, remembering the son we had together and how much my ex-husband protected me without even knowing that he was doing it.
“Good,” he replies. “Allie, are you marrying this guy because you’re in danger?”
“What?” I ask. *How does he know?* “Why are you asking me this?”
“I’m always wrong in your eyes, aren’t I, Allie? I just want you to know that if that’s the only reason, don’t do it. Because I know some people now who can protect you.”
“Logan, please tell me you’re not involved with bad people again.”
“I know you won’t tell me why you’re so worried about my safety, but just know that I’m not just another nobody like before. I have connections now, Allie. I have secrets, too. You’re special to me, Allie. Don’t marry this guy. You don’t need this.”
“Logan, you do know that you’re going to marry Chelsea, right?” I remind him. “Besides, I told you, I love Ethan.”
“Is Az happy about this? I want to talk to him.”
“Um, he’s not around right now, but he can call you later. And yes, he really likes Ethan,” I lie. Well, he doesn’t need to know the whole truth. Besides, Az is much closer to Ethan now.
“Okay, Allie. I have to go. I’m going to surprise Chelsea for being away for the last few days because I’ve been working. I’m a very hard worker.”
Where was this Logan when I was married to him, for God’s sake?
“Sure. Bye—”
Logan ends the call before I can even finish talking. Well, he didn’t threaten to take Az away from me or ask for money, so I’ll count that as a win.

🐺 🐺 🐺

“Are you sure, sweetheart?”
“Yes, Aunt Allie.”
“We can invite more people if you want. There’s still time,” I say as I place the last glittery clip in Lily’s soft curly hair. “There’s plenty of food and drinks for that. Besides, your little friends would love to celebrate your day with you.”
“No!” she answers firmly. “I don’t want anyone to come.”
“Okay, then. Today is your day, and all I want is for you to enjoy it!”
I don’t push her any further because I guess it’s already tough that her parents aren’t here for her birthday party. Jordan decided to travel yesterday. He told Lily he would visit her Aunt Kelly because she was sick. I thought at least Vi would be here, that she would come with Ethan from Summerville, but he arrived early alone.
Lily’s cute dress looks like a princess’s; Ethan said it belonged to Vi when she was younger. “You look beautiful,” I compliment. “Why don’t you go see if Az is ready? I’ll go downstairs. Everything is already done.”
“Okay, Aunt Allie,” Lily says as she leaves the room, but then she suddenly comes back and hugs me. “Thank you for being here. Thank you for the party. I’m so happy you and Uncle Ethan are together.”
“Aw! I’m happy, too. Az loves living here, and he’s been glued to you since the first time he saw you,” I smile. “It’s like a magnet. You two are always stuck together.”
She gives me a huge smile. “Yes!”
But for some reason, her smile diminishes when I say, “I know it’s silly saying this, but it’s magical.”
She hugs me tighter. “Thank you again.”
A few minutes later, Ethan and I are sitting on the couch together. I spot Maggie taking pictures of everything. “I don’t know how you had the stamina to blow up so many balloons without a pump, Maggie,” I say.
Josh pulls her to sit on his lap, but that doesn’t stop her from continuing to take pictures of everything around her. “It’s beautiful, Allie. Different from the last few years, more homey,” he points out. “Where are the kids?”
“Theo, Lily, and Az said they were going to play a game, like being animals or something, but they’ll be back soon,” I reply. “Those kids. Lily even said that they know Az is the biggest wolf and that he’ll run faster, so Theo should give up already,” I laugh, and Josh and Maggie look at each other, and then they both look in Ethan’s direction. “Well, it was Lily’s idea. It’s her day, let’s not judge it.” 
Ethan grunts. Maggie clears her throat before saying, “Well, I’ll check on them in a bit, but I’m sure they’ll probably come running when they get hungry.” 
Suddenly, I see Ethan smiling, and I think it’s because of what Maggie had just said until he stands up. Along with him, Josh and Maggie stand up too. 
“Where’s my favorite person in the world?” A woman’s voice says from the hallway. I can’t see who it is yet because of the wall.
“Surprise!” a couple says seconds later, holding hands. 
Good Lord, everything about the couple screams money. Honest to God, I’m pretty sure there isn’t a piece of clothing on their body that doesn’t have Prada or another expensive brand that I probably don’t know written on it.
Ethan walks up to them, and they immediately hug him when he gets close. “Ah! I missed you so much, Son.”
“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming? I would have gone to get you!”
“Oh, no! We wanted to surprise you all!” the man replies. He has brown, almost black, hair with liberal streaks of gray. He is handsome and has Ethan’s dark eyes. 
The elegant woman dressed in a dark green skirt with a matching blazer next to the man steps forward. Her dark hair is swept back into a bun. Her face is largely unlined and perfectly made-up. It was like looking at an older Violet. But without the friendly smile. She must be her mother. “Where’s our Lily?” the woman asks. “Maggie, honey! You look beautiful as always.” The two hug each other, then she hugs Josh as well.
I shyly stand up and walk over to them, feeling like an intruder.
The couple finally notices me, their eyes widening for a moment before they shift their gaze, taking in the birthday party decorations as if they’re just now realizing they’re there too.
“I’ll go get the kids. Lily will be so happy you’re here,” Maggie says, and Josh follows her out.
The woman raises her hand in a hello motion for me. Her intricate-expensive-diamond necklace catches the light when she turns to Ethan again. “Son, we have so much to tell you about our trip, but I don’t want a member of your nightclub staff hearing about it.”