18 - Broken Heart

*Present*

My eyes shot open with Kyle’s last words to me clouding me head, and when I realized the bed was empty and Shawn didn’t come home last night, I began to panic. I sat up suddenly and running my hands through my already messy hair, I picked up my phone from the bed side table and called Shawn countless time but each time it kept going to voicemail.

My heart pounded in fear, I didn’t want to lose Shawn, I didn’t want to throw everything we had away, everything we had built so far. “Shawn pick up please.” I cried into the voice but instead the metallic voice of the receiver screamed back at me.

I jumped down from the bed and dressed up for work but firstly I had to see Shawn and I knew the only place he’ll be will be by that time in the morning would be at the law firm so I took a quick uber before I went to work. As I stepped into the grand lobby of the law firm, the polished marble floors reflecting the soft glow of chandeliers hanging from the high ceiling. The air buzzed with the sound of ringing phones, murmuring voiced and the click-clack of heels echoing through the corridor. I navigated through the bustling hallways, shuffling through lawyers with a stuck up expression and most likely throwing me dirty stares because I was obviously the odd one out dressed in a black gown that clung to my body with a halter neck that left my shoulders bare and exposed – was it obvious that I wasn’t part of them. But I kept my eyes forward, I came here to find Shawn, to win him back because after all I really couldn’t afford to lose him.

Suddenly, my heart skipped a beat when I finally spotted Shawn. He was still dressed in the suit from the night before but looked oddly well rested. He stood near a group of colleagues, engaged in a conversation with strikingly beautiful woman and my chest constricted in jealousy. Her dark, cascading hair framed her delicate features, I couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy as I watched the way they interacted. I took a deep breath, trying to compose myself and I made my way towards them. The closer I got, the more my jealousy intensified. My mind raced with doubts and insecurities and I wondered if something was going on between them.

“Shawn.” I breathed when I got closer to them and Shawn’s eyes widened when he saw me, a mixture of anger, guilt and surprise flashed across his face.

“Aria,” he called back, “What – what are you doing here?” he switched glances between me and the lady beside him and I couldn’t help but stare at her and I secretly hoped I wasn’t glaring.

“I need to talk to you.” I said desperately.

“Now’s not a good time, I have a big case coming up.” he said but I shook my head unwilling to hear anything other than an affirmation.

“Please.” I begged and he sighed deeply before excusing himself from the lady whom I had yet to be introduced to. Shawn led to me his office and closed the door behind before turning around to face me, with an expression on his face that I couldn’t comprehend.

“What are you doing Aria?”

“You didn’t come home last night Shawn,” I said, “Were you – were you with her? Is that her? Janet? The woman you called last night before you left?”

Shawn nodded and I gasped at his revelation.

“Nothing happened,” he said before I could conjure up more assumptions in my head, “I slept on her couch last night thinking about you and you know the image that kept popping up in my head – it was you in his arms looking at him like he was the only guy in the world, the only guy you’d rather be with – ”

“No – that’s not true Shawn. It’s you I’d rather be with.” I said, the tears gathering in my eyes and my broken voice an evident of it.

“Fuck!” Shawn murmured, “You can’t be doing this, not on the most important day of my career.”

“Shawn – let me fix this.” I pleaded but he shook his head and I began to break down further.

“I thought about it Aria, I don’t think I can compete with that, with him not with the kind of history you guys have, I can’t bloody compete with that Aria.” his eyes weren’t meeting mine when he spoke so he couldn’t see the tears falling from my eyes .

“What – what are you trying to say?” I asked him and this time he looked at me, straight into my eyes with his eyes unwavering.

“I can’t do this anymore, I’m sorry/”

“Shawn,” I gasped, “There’s – there’s nothing, absolutely nothing going on between us.”

“Not right now but there will be, it’s only a matter of time and I don’t want to be caught in it when it happens Aria.” he said and I was about to say something when there was a knock on the door and Janet peeped through, she looked between both of us and sensing the tension with the obvious tears in my eyes but she focused on Shawn instead.

“Court starts in ten.” she said.

“I’ll be out soon.” Shawn responded and looked back at me.

“I have to go now and I’ll pick up my stuff over the weekend.”

“Shawn wait – no.” I held unto him but he was out of the door before I could even hold unto his shirt and in that moment, I completely broke down.

I walked out of the law firm broken hearted with tears streaming down my face and people staring at me but I could care less. I took an uber back to work but when I stood in front of the company, I didn’t have the heart to go in. I stared at it, my legs unwilling to move and carry me inside so instead I turned back and got into a cab instead, and I went to the movies. It was the only place that I could relax and unwind my thoughts and at this time of the day it was mostly empty.

KYLE’S POV

I saw her through my window, her face was sad and tear streaked. I saw the conflictions rise within her as she looked at the building, judging whether to get in or not. I wanted her to come in, even though I couldn’t physically comfort her at the office, I wanted to feel to her presence still. So when she turned around and walked away, my heart fell. But I couldn’t let her go, I couldn’t let her be on her own with tears in her eyes, I had done that before and I couldn’t bear to do it again.

So I followed her.