34 - HISTORY REPEAT

“He doesn’t have feelings for me – ”

“I don’t have feelings for her – ”

Ken and I said at the same time but somehow it felt like we were overcompensating. Diana’s deep brown eyes searched mine suspiciously and it confused me because I hadn’t seen both of them in years, since the summer we spent on an island in Europe, but I couldn’t blame her, we all never talked about what happened.

The tension seemed to be thickening with every passing second and Kyle stepped in our middle, acting like everything that went down didn’t affect him the most – but that was Kyle, he always wanted to be seen as the Messiah.

“Okay, let’s just enjoy the beach now shall we? It’s been years, let’s move on” he said and Diana grabbed Ken’s hands pulling him with her and I moved up to Kyle’s side.

“This is going well” Sarcasm dripped from my voice but he pretended not to notice, instead he took my hands and pulled me closer to him.

“You know I never really blamed you for what happened then, honestly it was partly my fault” he said, and I was going to respond but Kyle didn’t give me a chance to, instead he ran off to join Ken and Diana, leaving me alone to dwell on his words because in all honesty, I thought he hated me for it.

The sun hung high in the sky, burning down on us as we settled onto the warm sand, the boys had run off into the water and it was just me and Diana together, the air thick with tension as I was unsure on what to say to her. I took off my dress revealing my black bikini that I wore underneath and I could feel her eyes on me. Her gaze bore into mine – sharp and accusatory until she spoke first

“So what’s the deal with you and Kyle anyways?”

I sighed in relief, at least she wasn’t accusing me of trying to steal Ken

“There’s no deal” I shrugged, turning to her and noticing she too was clad in a blue striped bikini, her blonde hair pulled back into a pony tail.

“So how are you guys here in Florida together?” she went on, flashing her fingers in front of me for what seemed to be the twentieth time in the span of just one minute.

“I’m here on a business trip and Kyle is – well he’s my boss”

Diana’s eyes lifted curiously and flashing her hand yet again in my face that she almost blinded me “That’s a nice ring” I said finally and her face lit up.

“I thought you’d never notice” she said and it took me back to our college days. Diana was a rich girl, same as Kyle and Ken alike except me who was just the odd one in the bunch but only fitted in because Kyle was my boyfriend. But Diana liked to show off, she would flash her pretty bags and shoes in my face, expecting a reaction from me and when I showed no interest in the things she had, she might or might not throw a fit.

“So I’m guessing he proposed – finally” I said

“Our families want us together, it’s his mother’s ring and she gave it me. We plan to get married in the winter. I’ve always dreamed of getting married in the snow” I had forgotten how insufferable Diana was and at this point I just wanted her to shut up so I could relax and soak up the sun but it didn’t look like she was done talking.

“Somewhere exotic with lots of snow, and my dress would match the snow even though I’d be freezing but it wouldn’t matter because it will all be worth it”

“Would it?” the words slipped out of my mouth before I had the chance to stop and there was a visible frown on Diana’s face which she managed to hide quickly but she didn’t give me any response, instead she looked me dead in the eye without even the usual twitch that bugs her left eye

“I’m surprised you’re even still hanging out with Kyle after everything he did to you, look at him” she urged at his figure surfing in the water, his hair drenched and his wet torso glistening in the sun

“Look at him, I know you’re waiting for him to love you the way you want to be loved, to cherish you and be like old times well before he got damaged, but I hate to break it to you pumpkin – that’s never going to happen. He’s only going to reel you in to keep himself entertained and then when he gets the slightest notion that things might be getting real, he’s going to get rid of you – ”

“Shut up Diana – ” there was a sick feeling building at the base of my stomach, the sun burning my skin no longer felt refreshing and it felt like my skin was on fire.

“He’s done it before, what makes you think he won’t do it again?” and this time I stood up, my eyes gazing down on her in anger but I couldn’t say anything. What could I say? I knew she was saying all those things to spite me, but it was the truth and that was why it hurt deep to my bones.

“What?” she matched my gaze, unrelenting “It’s true”

I turned away from her, running in the direction of the water to cool the heat off my back before I actually jammed my fist into Diana’s face.

“Do you want to try surfing?” Kyle yelled out to me when I reached them and he was the last person I wanted to talk to at that moment.

“No, thanks” my reply was cold and I didn’t bother sparing him a glance as a dug my feet in the water, that felt warm from the heat of the sun. I spent good time sitting on the wet sand, my legs covered with water watching the men surf and at the same time deliberating keeping my eyes from Kyle even though half of the time his gaze shifted to me, questioning, reaching but I avoided it all – Diana’s words had cut through to me.

I was still seated on the sand when Ken approached me and sat down beside me. I could smell the saltiness in his hair and on his body, and when I looked at him his eyes matched the sea – light blue and mesmerizing. Ken had always been good looking with his tall lanky frame and black curly hair, he was also a bit dumb sometimes and I could see why Diana had been able to latch on him.

“You good by yourself over here?” he asked me and I nodded

“Just needed some space”

Silence enveloped us for a second as we watched the people surfing before he spoke up “You know, I wanted to apologize for last time, I was drunk and stupid and dumb, I should have never tried – ”

“You’re not dumb” I said to him cutting him short and his blue eyes suddenly dilated in admiration.

He sighed, running his hands through his curls “You see, when you say things like this it makes you so irresistible”

“You’re engaged” I reminded him “Diana said you guys are getting married in the winter, congratulations by the way”

Ken seemed to go pensive and he fiddled with his fingers looking like he was fighting an internal turmoil “I don’t love Diana and I don’t want to get married to her”

“Then why – ”

“Her family needs mine and Diana she – she always has a way of getting what she wants. She’s controlling and she’s not like you”

I studied him, my eyes drifting to Diana who was busy on her phone but the moment she lifted her head, she was going to spot us and I bet a thousand dollars she was going to throw a fit.

“What am I like Ken?”

“You’re sweet – and in a fucked up way you seem to understand me, you don’t think I’m dumb like everyone else, even Kyle sometimes seems to think I’m dumb and stupid. Also I don’t think you try to control every situation to suit your narrative”

“You know when Diana said I was in love with you – it wasn’t totally a lie” he said but I only looked at him because I already knew that with the way his eyes twinkled at me.

“Why – after all these years?”

“You said I was special, words like that stick to a guy like me” he said quietly and when I turned around, my eyes drifting to Diana who was now watching us with a scowl on her face and I wanted nothing more than to piss her off more.

“You should stand up for yourself more Ken” I said to him.

“And how do I do that?” he held my gaze intensely, his face automatically moving closer to mine like a magnetic pull.

“By doing whatever the fuck you want” I knew what he was going to do but I didn’t want to stop him for obvious reasons, mainly because I had nothing to lose. I wanted to see Diana’s cocky face go sour and somehow I wanted Kyle to burn with jealousy.

“So can I kiss you then?” he gaze moved from my eyes to my lips slowly, and he placed his hands at the back of my head, pulling me closer to him but our lips barely touching until I closed the gap between us in response.

This was history repeating itself and it felt like that vacation over again where Ken had drunkenly kissed me