9 - Why Did It Hurt?

I was expecting Shawn to ask about Kyle but he didn’t, the drive home was quiet with Shawn seething beside me while I was too drunk to care, instead I focused my attention on the fleeting cars passing by my thoughts still very much clouded with – Kyle. But Shawn stepped on the brakes suddenly and I lunged forward, when I looked out I saw that we were home, but Shawn wasn’t getting down and he left the engine running.

“What the hell is your problem Aria?” he said suddenly with his voice slightly raised.

“What the hell?” I slammed back confused.

“I told you I was busy, and I had a lot of work to do why do you – ”

I cut him short immediately, “Oh I’m sorry you couldn’t spare five minutes to pick your drunk girlfriend from the club.”

“I wouldn’t have to come get you if you didn’t get drunk in the first place.”

“Oh fuck you Shawn!” I yelled, then getting down from the car and slamming the door, I heard Shawn do the same thing while he charged behind me into the house.

The warmth of the house enveloped me immediately, but it was nothing to the anger that was already boiling within me, then suddenly I turned back to face Shawn.

“All you talk about is work, work work – all the damn time, you never mention anything else.”

“That’s not true – ” he tried to defend himself but I stepped closer, interrupting his statement with my finger pointed directly in his face.

“When last did we go on a date Shawn? When last did we have an actual conversation in this house – no when last did you actually try to fuck me?”

Shawn’s mouth fell open in shock but he righted himself immediately, “So that’s what this is all about? This morning? Sex? Is it, Aria?”

I groaned feeling my frustration rising, both sexual and the physical one Shawn was dishing out to me that moment, “It’s not just not this morning, you never want to do it anymore.”

“So what do you want Aria?”

“I want you to fuck me like you love me, like you fucking want me.” I moved closer to him as I said this, feeling the horniness wash over like a tidal wave. It was a pent up feeling in my body, holding me captive until I had released every single bit of frustration held up within me. My eyes were fixed on Shawn under the dim kitchen light and then I heard him groan, a guttural groan I hoped was going to get me what I wanted.

“Oh fuck Aria.” he called my name, before grabbing me by the waist, turning me around before bending my drunk self over the kitchen counter. He pulled my dress up and slid my soaking wet panties down, I felt the hardening budge in his trousers pressing against me and a groan escaped my lips as he tried to find the entrance to my core and when he slipped it in I moaned softly, adjusting myself properly so I could feel him better.

It was Shawn drilling into me but my brain pictured Kyle and I had to bite my lips down to stop myself from moaning his name. Shawn’s thrusting was hard, short and I couldn’t just seem to get enough. I gripped the kitchen counter tighter ready for him to flip me over to a different position, but just then I felt him vibrate behind him, thrusting harder and just as I was about to get into it, he pulled out of me and spilling on the floor while I moaned in disappointment.

“I’m going to take a shower.” he muttered before walking away and I slid down to the floor, my hair disheveled, a certain headache brewing and still very much drunk and horny.

***

The next week at work, I was seated in my cubicle with my eyes fixed on my computer when Janine walked in dropping a pile of files on my desk with a sweet smile on her face, the smile she used when she wanted a favor.

“Could you please take these files to Mr. Hart’s office, I have a ton shit of work today and I’ve bee distracted by my phone all day.”

“What! Why me? Aren’t there any interns around?”

“I can’t trust interns with confidential company files.” she said.

“You can’t trust me either, I’ll blab.”

“Oh come on Aria,” she pleaded and I rolled my eyes because I couldn’t say no to her.

“Fine.” I said, and she smiled gratefully before walking back to her cubicle. I stared at the pile on my desk then I looked up the next floor above me to where Kyle’s office was. I had done a good job all day perfectly avoiding him and now Janine was going to ruin it. My heart thumped a little at the prospects of seeing him, clad in another designer suit, hair curled to perfection and those piercing blue eyes that always made me nervous, how would I see all that and be able to act normal around him without my hands trembling and my eyes unable to focus.

Okay, Aria you can do this! It was a repeated mantra in my head as I stood with the files held tightly in my trembling hands. I made my way to his floor using the elevator, my high heeled shoes clanking on the floor with every nervous step I took. I stopped in front of his office and paused to see if I’d hear any voices from within but then it occurred to me that most offices were soundproof so it also made sense that the CEO’s office would equally be soundproofed.

With a deep breath, I pushed the door open and immediately my eyes widened with my mouth falling open, and the files unconsciously slipping from my hands.

There was Kyle in a liplock with a model looking Russian girl dressed in a mini skirt suit and her red lipstick perfectly smudged from her lips and part of it stained on Kyle’s face and it felt like my heart stopped.

Why was my heart stopping? He wasn’t mine anymore.

But why did I feel betrayed, why did I feel like a dream I unconsciously seemed to pursue was already slipping away from me without even falling asleep.

Why did it hurt?