41 - SURPRISE SURPRISE

My stare was murderous matched to an even poisonous glare from my father, we stood with our eyed fixed on each other, my jaw set even and ignoring the pain that radiated through my face from my father’s hard punch. Our relationship had always been chaotic, his love and attention was earned and no matter how much I tried, I never seemed worthy of it. I fought it every time, always desperate and frantic - fighting for a word of praise from but no matter how hard i tried, I never did it well, it was never enough.

“I made you!” he roared “You’d be nothing without me – ”

“You’re wrong” I matched up to him “You’re the one who’d be nothing without me, that’s why you’re scared that if I get back together with her again you’ll get exposed for what you made me do. Don’t you interfere anymore – it’s a warning”

“What are you going to do?” he was squaring up to me and I know had to pick my words carefully, I could see his hands squeezed in punch and ready to strike if I angered him again. I backed away, depriving him of the reaction he was seeking but immediately, I turned back around as I changed my mind. I was sick of him manipulating me, using me when it benefitted him most and interfering with my life.

“You always do this, challenge me like you’re trying to purposely enrage me, to see how far I’ll go”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about you being a bloody manipulator” I yelled now “You give so little yet you take so much and it’s never enough because you keep taking – and taking – and taking”

“What – ” he was doing the thing where he tried to act clueless to make you lose crazy.

“No” I stopped him, the anger was setting in now, completely taking over me and I felt blinded it, I felt overwhelmed that my body rocked with an irregular frequency but he cut his way through regardless.

“Is that what you tell yourself to help you sleep better at night?” he asked and I fumed even further, how condescening.

“First it was mom – ”

“Your mom left on her own” he countered

“No you drove her away with your madness!” I yelled in his face “You made her resent me that she can’t even look at my face because I remind her of you” I remember the time she spat those words to me. I was barely over thirteen and just after she had found out he was cheating, they had had a terrible fight that left her with a blood trickling down the side of her head.

*“You look so much like him and I can’t even look at you”* she fired at me and her words cut deep and engraved themselves on my heart.

“So what do you expect me to do?” he spat, and not even the slightest ounce of remorse tainted those eyes.

“Then Aria – you snatched away from me with your greed” I said

“It had to happen, when she walked talking about who her father was, I knew it had to end. What made you I was going to choose your nonsensical teenage relationship over my own life and freedom?”

I gasped unbelievably “You’re evil – ”

“A little evil is always necessary and the faster you understand that the better” he said. I ran my hands through my hair I frustration

“I’m not going to keep paying for this crimes, I’m going to atone for my sins one way or the other”

My father shrugged, crossing his hands across his chest and his face now devoid of any form of emotions.

“Don’t bloody interfere in my life anymore” I spat quietly before I walked away from him even though my body still rocked with anger that kept piling up. I needed to walk away, I needed to get ready for work.

***

I knew that I should avoid but a part of me was excited to get a glimpse of her face, a part of me was craving to inhale her scent if she walked past me and of course I was going to put myself in a position for her to walk past me.

I dressed up quickly in one of my designer tailored suits but my head was plagued with Aria, using her face as a mechanism to forget the unpleasantness that was my morning. I could’ve lost her again if I didn’t interfere, if I didn’t go through those five painful hours of trying to get to her, to save her because I couldn’t let her slip away again – not after the last time – not after what I did, it was like I owed it to her to always protect her even if it meant my life on the line.

I walked into the quietness of my company, the weight of anticipation hung heavy in the air. Thoughts of Aria – her smile danced on the edges of my consciousness. The longing gnawed at me, I couldn’t help but anticipate catching a glimpse of her face – just a fleeting moment of connection.

“Good morning boss” I heard someone greet and I recognized her as Janine Rivers, and she walked hand in hand with a brunette lady I wasn’t sure I remembered her name.

“Good morning Janine and – ” I looked to the lady, stylishly asking for her name

“Monica” she offered, a shy smile playing on her face and I nodded but I wasn’t in the mood to exchange further pleasantries so I let them walk ahead of me while I dawdled behind but we all reached the elevator together and I got in behind them.

I kept my face straight ahead, my eyes fixed on the countdown seconds on the elevator when Janine struck a conversation with Monica and I was forced to listen. I wasn’t generally paying attention until her next words froze me all over.

“Did you hear?” she had started and at this point I was still a bit absent minded until she went on “Aria Thorne got engaged yesterday”