35 - THREE WORDS, EIGHT LETTERS

I couldn’t really get into the kiss with Ken, because it didn’t feel like anything. The pretend stars weren’t falling from the sky like sprayed confetti but my eyes had slipped open and I could see Diana, her eyes shooting lasers at us, I nearly smirked into the kiss. I ran my hands over his biceps for her to see only for Ken to even pull me closer to him and I let him because it was even more satisfying to see her face redden with jealousy but it wasn’t long before I felt Ken being pulled away from me and to his feet with a large force and before I could register anything, a hard punch reached his jaw while he staggered to the floor and there was Kyle standing over him with an angry looking on his face.

He was going in for another punch when I stopped him.

“Stop!” I yelled and this time Diana had reached us and she was charging towards me before Ken had jumped to his feet and stopping her before she got to me.

“You fucking love her, why don’t you just admit it?” Diana yelled at Ken.

“Well goddammit, maybe I do” he yelled back and silence fell over us like a thick blanket and Diana began to stutter, I nearly giggled but I managed to hold myself back – Kyle wasn’t having it.

“What the hell did you just say?” I could see Kyle pulse with anger, charging towards Ken and grabbing him by the throat, not caring that we were now a source of entertainment to everyone at the beach. The whole scenario was exactly the same from the vacation we had years ago, Ken had kissed me drunkenly after I told him he was special and Kyle had walked in on us and went straight to beat the liquor out of Ken and Diana had pounced on me, calling me a whore.

“We’re getting married soon Ken – ” Diana had tears slipping from her eyes but Ken wouldn’t look at her face.

“I’m calling it off, you should return the ring back to my mother”

“What!” her face fell in shock, her eyes blinked multiple times like she couldn’t believe it “You can’t do that, we need each other”

“No you need me Diana, I’m tired of being controlled by you – I’m out of here” Ken stalked away with Diana trailing desperately behind him leaving just Kyle and I with an awkward tension surrounding us.

“Let’s go” he muttered quietly as he walked past me and didn’t say a word to me throughout the ride to the hotel and when we finally reached he said to me

“Go on, I need to be somewhere” he didn’t look at me while he said it, I could literally feel his anger pulsating within him and I began to feel guilty but then Diana’s words had began to ring in my head once more
He’s done it before, what makes you think he won’t do it again?

Her voice rang sharp in my head, over and over repeatedly till I got down from the car and slammed the door.

By the time Kyle came back a few hours later when it was already dark out, he was drunk. I could smell the liquor on him as he staggered across the hotel room to the balcony without as much as sparing me a glance and his silence was choking me. Why wasn’t he talking to me? I stalked outside to the balcony but I stood by the door, watching him watch the city’s view with his back turned to me.

“I let Diana’s words get to me” I said, breaking the silence and this time he turned to me, but his eyes felt distant

“Why do you care?” he said

“What?”

“You said you wanted nothing to do with me at the elevator the other day, so why do you care?” his words slurred slightly but they burned deep. He turned around and walked towards me, so close that I could smell the booze on his breath but it was rather inviting than repulsive, his intoxication stirred a boiling pot within me.

“I’m going to ask you again, is there any part of you that still has feelings for me”

“No you don’t get to ask me that when you were the one that left, I should be the one asking you” I flared now

“Well do you need me to actually spell it out for you?” he matched my exasperated tone which even made me more exasperated.

“Hell yes Kyle, because you’re so bloody inconsistent. Today you act like you’re so into me and then you wouldn’t look me in fucking eye the next so forgive me if I want some fucking clarity from you Kyle Hart” our heavy breaths fell into rhythm and our eyes stayed glued to one another, neither of us willing to break the stare, but I broke it first regardless because I couldn’t stand the intensity of his gaze, I wasn’t strong enough and we both knew it. I pulled my eyes away and stared ahead of him instead, I took a step back to reduce the heat that emanated from our bodies being so close to one another.

“Don’t talk about inconsistencies, you were the one who kissed Ken and for the bloody second time”

“It didn’t mean anything” I clarified “and neither are you a saint”

“What do you want from Aria?” Kyle asked and the question hung in the air. I knew exactly what I wanted from Kyle but the fear ran deeper than my need for it. He looked at me expectantly, waiting for me to make my demand but the words hung in my throat literally choking me.

“Aria – ” he called impatiently and I closed my eyes while I stepped closer to me where the smell of booze and cologne hit the strongest.

I held his gaze “Those three words Kyle – ”

It was hard to read the look on his face when it was tainted by his drunkenness, but uncertainty flashed and disappeared in his eyes. I placed my hands on his chest to feel the rapidness of his heart beat to know if it matched the erratic beating of mine and he placed his hands on top of mine, hope began to lurk in the shadows.

“Three words, eight letters – say it and I’m yours” I felt like Blair Waldorf and Kyle was my Chuck Bass.

“I – ” he started and I waited patiently

“I – don’t want to hurt you Aria”

Hope disappeared.