65 - DEEP QUESTION

*Confirmation for Lexington hall has been confirmed – check

*Please approve the open bar for the banquet dinner - check

*Sent out invites to all eligible corporate companies and their top employees for the occasion – check

*Sent out request to the florist and interior décor - check

“Aria, we have more names for more invites. I sent them to your email” Janine called out to me from her cubicle and I threw an absent-minded nod at her. My head was swarmed and I could barely stay focused. It was one thing to multitask but it was an entirely different to multitask while your mind stayed occupied with so many other things – example finding out Shawn had been unfaithful. It had been at least a week since I stumbled on his phone but I had kept my findings to myself. I had pretended everything was and got into bed with him that night, my hair still full of beach sand even as he pulled me close in a snuggle, whispering in my ears

*“I’ve missed you pumpkin”

I had stayed quiet, not because I had seen those text messages because what exactly was I going to say at that moment to him in his half slumber. A few moments ago Kyle had been deep in my guts, drawing out the desires only him could ignite but why did I feel jealous still, why did it hurt somehow at the thought that Shawn had eyes for another woman. It was barely a few months after we moved to LA, a time where I has supposedly forgotten about Kyle and I was beginning to embrace Shawn in my life. A time when I looked at him, and my eyes sparkled with admiration. He was cheating on me? I was no saint but why did it cut so deep?

“Aria, I said there were more names for more invites and I – ”

“Oh my God Janine! I bloody heard you the first time” I snapped at her suddenly and instantly her mouth fell open in surprise, a slight quiver forming at her mouth and I caught myself suddenly – oh shit!

“Janine – I’m so – I’ve been so stressed lately – Janine” she scurried away immediately before I was even done spilling out my half hearted apology.

“Shit!” I cursed silently and then turning swiftly around and just then, I bumped into some hard chest, the papers that I held in my hands spilling on the floor. I have had it with my clumsiness that day and I stooped to the floor to pick up my papers the same time the other person dropped to pick them – who expectedly turned out to be Kyle. He was the only one that would let me bump into him so yes I wasn’t surprised but that didn’t the usual belly fluttering I felt when I saw him or came in contact with him was absent.
We rounded the papers together and he handed his half to me, his fingers slightly grazing my skin and I pulled my hands away still feeling the buzz of electricity that coursed through.

“We’re at work” I glanced at him through my eyelashes.

“Right – sorry” he cleared his throat and I looked over at my other colleagues who seemed oblivious to Kyle and I, I looked back at him looking all fancy in his crisp suit, his black always wavy with too much gel and there was his – those eyes, always searching mine and I always let him.

“Want to get out of here?” he asked me

“I’m swamped with work – the banquet dinners is in a few days”

“Exactly why you need to get out of here, we’ve covered a lot of grounds, we’ve gotten the building, invites are sent out – what else?” he seemed so at ease

“The florist, interior décor, the order for the ice statue is still on hold and I have to take care of it”

“Ice statue?” he looked a puzzle “For what?”

“Décor” I shot him an odd look because he had asked for it, so his confusion was a bit puzzling to me “You asked for it remember?”

“You’ve been dreaming about me a lot haven’t you?” he teased and I rolled my eyes at him

“You wish”

“So are you coming or not? Trust me every other thing can be taken care of by anybody else. Give it to Janine, I’m sure she’ll be elated to take the floor now”

“Yea about that, I kind of yelled at her earlier and she’s pissed” I said to Kyle and immediately, he took the papers from my hands and dropping it on the nearby desk and he urged me out of the room by my shoulders and by the time we got outside he tried to grab my hands but I quickly pulled it away and instantly turning around to make sure that no one saw.

“You’re going to get both of us in trouble” I said to him and he shrugged

“I’m not scared of trouble” he said back, just before we approached his car but he didn’t walk around to get into his car, he stood before instead with his tall frame shielding the sun away from my eyes.

“What are you scared of then?” I had asked him back.

He didn’t waste any time before he responded, with his voice laced with emotions that ran deep “Losing another opportunity with you”

I stayed quiet at the unexpectedness of his statement, and we stayed silent like that with our gaze still locked in “You – you always say the most unexpected things” I managed to say. He took his hands up to my face and pushing the stray strands of hair away.

“You can’t touch me like that out here – you’re my boss”

“Is that the only reason?” his hands hovered above my skin

“What other reason could there be?” we were both baiting each other and I wasn’t going to fall first, but Kyle shook his head and turned away first heading to his side of his car before he stopped and turned around to face me.

“I want to ask you something and I want you to be completely honest with me” he said and I urged him to go on.

He stayed quiet, as if fighting some internal conflict and I didn’t want to push, I needed to hear what he had to say

“Do you ever think about what could have been – I mean when you were pregnant with my child”