84 - KYLE!

SOME DRUNKEN YEARS AGO

ARIA’S POV

It was the week after my father had died and had been buried already. It had been the longest and most agonizing week of my life and it didn’t help much that I was beginning to feel like Kyle was being distant even as we were living together at that point. He couldn’t meet my eyes when he managed to speak to me, he claimed he was giving me the space I needed to grieve my father but I felt like it was something else, I knew it was something else but I just couldn’t place my finger on it

Just until that fateful night, I woke up in the middle of the night, my entire body gripped by a sudden sharp pain. At first I thought it might have been another bout of morning sickness that usually chose to attack me in the middle of the night or perhaps the stress of losing my father finally catching up with me. I was merely three months gone and sometimes it was better to ignore that I was pregnant at all to kill the overwhelming that plagued me of not taking care of myself properly. But as the cramps intensified that night and then I felt warmth spreading beneath me, panic set in. To my horror, when I looked – I saw blood and I screamed immediately jolting Kyle awake.

“Kyle” I managed to call through clenched teeth “Bl – Bl – Blood – there’s blood. There’s fucking blood Kyle” I yelled loudly as his eyes grew wide at my alarm and the painful expression on my face.

“Shit!” Immediately, he jumped off the bed grabbed the car keys and helped me to the car, his hands steady around my waist as he counted my steps with me. He rushed me to the hospital, the drive was a blur of agonizing minutes.

The doctors rallying around me felt even more like a blur, their clinical voices sounding like a detached backdrop to the storm raging inside of me. I clung to Kyle’s hand seeking some sort of comfort as the doctor spoke and confirming our worst fear, or my worst fear – a miscarriage. The tears spilled out of my eyes as Kyle moved away to cry his silent tears so I wouldn’t see them, but I needed him beside me, I wanted him to wipe my tears and tell me it’ll be okay and that he loved me, and we’ll go through this together but he disappeared from my side in a flash leaving me with pitiful looks of the nurses as they cleaned me up.
Days passed by in a haze of grief and physical therapy. I returned home from the hospital feeling hollow, my body sore and my heart heavy. Kyle was being distant again, his normally warm eyes cold and avoiding mine all the time.

“What’s wrong?” I reached out to him eventually, tired of being treated like a ghost and he looked at me

“What do you mean?”

“You’re quiet, you haven’t said a single word to me. It’s like you’re mad at me and I don’t know what for – ”

“I’m not mad at you – ”

“Then what is it?” I yelled now, I could feel my frustration rising to a climax at my throat and I had no way to control the budding anger.

“Nothing – it’s just – I don’t know Aria”

I scoffed out loud, placing my hands on my waist and pacing for a second “I just lost my father Kyle and if that wasn’t enough, I lost my baby too and we’re supposed to go through this together, we’re supposed to be there for each other not you pushing you away – ”

“I’m not pushing you away – ”

“Yes you are!” I cried “You haven’t said a single word to me since the hospital”

Kyle didn’t say anything, he sat at the dining section with his face buried in his palms before he stood up abruptly and grabbed his keys immediately

“Where are you going?”

“I need some air” he said coldly before brushing past me and walking out of the house, there again leaving me in the daunting silence
Later that evening, I heard Kyle storm into the house angrily with his footsteps heavy and his jaw set in a hard line. Immediately I braced myself for possibly an argument or a confession but nothing could have prepaed me for what he said next

“You need to leave” Kyle’s voice was cold, cutting through the air like a knife. I stared at him in disbelied, the pain stirring within me. I searched his eyes for any hint of remorse, any trace of man I was love with but only drunken emptiness stared back at me.

“What, why?” my voice was barely a whisper, barely audible above the ache in my chest.

"I can't do this anymore," his voice cracked, a hint of anguish flashing across his face before it hardened again. "This was a mistake. You were a mistake. Bringing you here was a mistake, keeping the baby was a mistake"

“What – ” I felt my world shatter around me, my vision blurred instantly from the cloud of tears that stormed my eyes causing a downpour to rain down my cheeks. “You don’t mean it Kyle, tell me you don’t mean it”

“We should never have met, you should never have fallen in love with me. I was never good for you Aria and you know it but you chose to keep frolicking with the devil. I don’t want to hurt you anymore – ”

“Kyle – ”

“You deserve better than me Aria” he said then walking into the bedroom to pull out my things while I walked frantically behind him in a bid to stop him, my cries rising to a dramatical tone.

“Kyle no!” I tried to pull him away but he was already pulling out my bags and dragging them outside

“You’ll be better and happier without me – I’ve done a lot of horrible things so just go okay – go” he said then he shut the door in my face while I pounded on the door heavily.

“Kyle don’t fucking do this!”

“Kyle!”