Before his presence

Becky's P.O.V



My feet were hitting the cobblestones with heavy thuds and it felt like every step I took was like a drumbeat of anger that echoed loudly in the quiet night. The accusation I had just heard felt as if it had struck me like a hard punch leaving me in shock and struggling to regain my balance.


Karl poisoned? That thought seemed completely ridiculous! I found myself walking away in a rush feeling overwhelmed by a mix of emotions. The air around me was filled with the sweet fragrance of honeysuckle but all I could really focus on was the sharp metallic taste of my own anger.


“Hey Becky!” came a voice that seemed to come from the dark shadows. “Pssst! Over here!”


I came to a sudden stop and turned around quickly to see where the sound was coming from. There I saw Jake leaning casually against the rough surface of the stone wall in the alleyway. The light from the flickering torch illuminated his dark hair making it shine in the dim light.


“What is it that you want Jake?” I said sharply making an effort to keep my voice steady and not let it shake.


“Please just hold on a moment.” he said as he emerged from the dark shadows in which he had been hiding.


A look of worry and concern was clearly visible on his face. “You seem really startled as if you have just encountered a ghost. Is everything okay with you?”


“Karl is not feeling well at all. And healer Sage told me that he has been poisoned.” I said trying to control my anger that was bubbling up just below the surface.


Jake's face changed from looking worried to looking surprised. He said “Poisoned? Karl? Honestly I think that's a good thing. If you want my opinion he's not someone worth missing. Just look at everything he made you go through...”


“What?” I exclaimed my voice becoming louder because I couldn't believe what I was hearing. “No! I really do not want to see Karl in pain Jake. Are you truly paying attention to what I'm saying?”


He ran his fingers through his hair clearly showing how frustrated he felt in the way he was standing. “Becky you need to understand that he is a terrible person. He has caused you pain repeatedly. So why do you even worry about him if he's going through hard times right now?”


“Because it's not right.” I said my voice strong and steady even though I felt a deep sadness inside me. “I might not have any fond feelings for him but I really do not want him to be dead or suffering in pain. It makes me really upset that Brian is blaming me for this situation! He believes that I am the one who poisoned Karl!”


“Well perhaps what you should do is confront him directly and have a talk with him!” Jake's voice grew louder as well fueled by his own feelings of anger. “You should really tell him to take his accusations and stick them where the sun doesn't shine—“


“Jake please stop what you're doing!” I said cutting him off. My breath got stuck in my throat making it hard to speak. The idea of having to face Brian again filled me with an intense feeling of fear and anxiety. I just couldn't bear the thought of going through that whole situation once more. I really... I just need a little bit of time to sort through my thoughts and emotions.”


“Time?” Jake said in disbelief his eyebrows raised. “Do you really believe that just letting some time pass will make those nasty rumors go away? You actually think that Brian will simply choose to forget about it? Come on this guy has a serious issue with you. He has been looking for an opportunity to confront you ever since the moment you stood up to Karl.”


I shook my head as I tried to make my thoughts clearer. “Hey I really appreciate that you want to stand up for me but I can take care of this situation on my own. I plan to talk to Brian tomorrow. Right now I just need one night to gather my thoughts and calm down. So please don't get involved okay? I really need you to promise me that.”


His jaw clenched tightly and his eyebrows furrowed deeply as he showed his frustration. He looked at the person in front of him and said “You have to understand that I really can't make any promises about this situation especially if there is a chance that you could be in danger. But I want you to know that I will do everything I can to help you and get you out of trouble no matter what it takes.”


“Could you please do this for me Jake?” I said trying to sound gentle. There was a little bit of sadness in my voice that I couldn't hide. “It's not only me who will be affected by this situation. I really don’t want this to grow into a bigger problem than it already is. So if you could just go home for now that would really help okay?”


He let out a deep sigh and his arms were folded tightly over his chest showing how frustrated he felt. “Alright I’ll go along with it but don’t come to me later saying you weren’t warned. Just remember if you ever decide to reconsider I will always be here for you.”


“Thank you very much.” I looked away for a moment feeling a heavy ache in my heart. It was a combination of thankfulness and annoyance. No matter how hard I tried to push it down I couldn't stop the bitter feeling that was growing in my throat when I thought about what Brian had said about me.


“Please be careful Becky.” he said his expression becoming a little gentler for just a brief moment. “You truly deserve so much better than this.”


“I understand what you mean.” I said softly but even as the words left my mouth they felt empty and lacking in true meaning. This realization hit me as I watched him turn away and walk out the door.


As I walked slowly one step after another moving towards my room I could feel the heavy burden of all my worries and problems weighing down on me almost like the entire world was resting on my shoulders.


At that moment I felt completely powerless like a marionette whose strings had been cut leaving me to struggle and flail about in the confusion and turmoil of my own thoughts. The anger that I had been holding onto was still present but beneath that anger there was something else a deep and troubling uncertainty.


I couldn't shake off the worrying thought that people might actually believe I would want to hurt Karl. It seemed like such a ridiculous idea but still I couldn't help but feel unsettled by it…


I shook my head back and forth as if trying to get rid of all the worries that were bothering me. After that I finally arrived at my front door. I paused for a moment feeling a little unsure before I stepped inside my house. Once I was in I made sure to close the door firmly behind me.


The room was very dimly lit and it had just a small bed and a writing table that was covered with pieces of parchment scattered all over it. The atmosphere felt too quiet and the silence felt like a heavy cloak that was wrapped around me making me feel a bit uncomfortable.


After taking a deep breath and letting out a sigh I decided to walk over to the window. I looked outside to see the world illuminated by the light of the moon. The streets of the community below were shining softly in the moon's glow.


I slowly lowered myself onto the edge of my bed. It felt like all my energy had left me. I sat there looking down at my hands which were resting on my knees. The room was so quiet that it felt almost heavy.


I took a deep breath and spoke softly almost to myself “What else do you want from me Karl?” I couldn't help but feel a mix of confusion and sorrow. I continued my voice barely above a whisper “Your suffering was already so much for me to bear.”


For a brief moment I believed I could hear the joyful sounds of laughter coming from a faraway gathering. It made me think of the happy life I used to have before Karl entered the picture.


It also reminded me of the harsh accusations that felt like a tight noose slowly wrapping around my neck suffocating me and taking away my freedom.