Chapter 41

Emmanuel Kant said, “Happiness is not an ideal of reason but of imagination,” yet for me, happiness is not an ‘ideal,’ nor conjured by imagination, yet is a state of being that thrives when we are at peace within ourselves.
Happiness is in everything; I dare you to invite it in. It is in the rain, cool and fresh, just as deeply as the sunshine, for they bring forth different emotions. Happiness is enjoying the moment, being present for that gift that is living, and allowing it to become intense. I had never felt this intense sense of satisfaction until I came to know that there is a greater power that lies within me today…
In good moods a writer may paint words that are fine wine and soft music; words that contain more healing medicine than all the drugs created by man. They are clear water over rocks, a shelter in any storm. They are food for the soul of every flower of the light. So I vow to only write what is right, inspired by the golden illumination of a sun that never dies. The pen is indeed mightier than the sword, for a pen can weave love; a pen can bring the cleansing rain of hope; a pen can speak words so sublime as to last all the ages of man.

For me, there is something about chopping a home grown vegetable that soothes me to my soul; I listen to the sound as the knife cuts and then the metal meets the wood. I let my hands move slowly in the silence of the room, allowing random birdsong and windy gusts to infuse my mind. The earthy flavours develop an intensity, there is a burst of aroma with each cut and in the quietness within, I am happy. Drima had always encouraged me to think in this manner and allowed me to do everything which would help me grow.

Other times I burst with life in the joy of movement. I love to dance to vibrant music, loud and strong. I feel my limbs move with the beat, my mind enjoying the heady ride. There is something about cycling in the countryside, with or without music, in any weather, that invigorates me. There is part of this human animal that was born to move. To exert myself feels like freedom, there is pleasure in pushing myself to new levels. Yet to ride slow can be a chance to savour to the flow of the air the finer details of the trees, earth and birds. This is not the mantra to find the good in everything, not quite, for there are times of tragedy, but to enjoy what is good and to learn from the rest.
Today it was like that I was happy because I had seen something different and I knew that I was different. I did not know how but I knew that there was a lot that I needed to find about myself.

Pain is a chance to become more empathic, more sensitive to others in pain. Problems are an opportunity to innovate. In isolation we can think and let the creative mind spin new ideas. In unfulfilled expectations we can learn patience and understanding. In grief we can learn to cherish the gift of life each day. We can use our pain and fear to mature the mind and develop the soul. For how can the soul dance if it is hiding in the shadows? Thus, only the brave of heart can know true happiness. So, be bold, my love. Meet life as an equal.
"Happiness is an absence of all negative emotions, my love, and the presence of any positive one; that's why joy comes in so many wonderful flavours. It's also the reason that our commercial world is so miserable and empty; we are all intelligent enough to comprehend that whilst the lure looks like happiness, it is really a terrible imposter fashioned from greed, fear, vanity, sloth and selfishness. It's like at the end of the wizard of oz, when they peek behind the curtain to see a selfish little man peddling a creaking machine, what's seen can't be unseen.

Anything done for pure and positive motivation will fill you with happiness and begin healing, painful though that process can be. It's like waking from a nightmare to find you are really covered in bruises and cut by knives. Yet from this emptying of the negative, listening to the yearning of your own soul to love and nurture, serenity comes, joy comes, laughter comes,’ said Serafina as she looked at me and I squealed in her direction.
We both hugged each other and were jumping with joy.
“I wish I could have made a video of that. I have never seen anything far more glorious than you, I mean, the red makes sense that you are the Heiress of the Red Hearts Pack. But all those other colours…I could not even begin to decipher the meaning of the show that you did back there then,” said Serafina.
“I also don’t understand why that happened to me. It was completely different from what I had ever felt in my life, but I can tell you that the crystal was trying to tell me something. I saw things when I touched the crystal. I am pretty sure that it has not happened with anyone earlier,” I told and Drima nodded.
“If you would tell me that what did you exactly see then I can check the records for something of the sort. But I doubt there will be,” said Drima but Serafina said thoughtfully.
“Yes, there might not be any records of incidents like this in the earlier monarchs of Amorentia who were only wolves but there might be definitely some things in the books that have been missed out when it was the magicals who were on the throne. There might be something there which we won’t get in the normal books,” said Serafina and even though I did not feel that it was going to be very useful, I felt that it would be good to let Serafina do her digging. She might find something that we were not even looking for.
“Your entire body was covered with some kind of layering stuff and then it was changing colour. But tell me first, what did you exactly see?” asked Drima.
What I saw was something which was pretty personal and I felt that it was an invasion of privacy, but there was no option. I had to tell them. Or else I was never going to be able to understand what was the meaning of my vision.
Good mood songs, good mood food and the telephone ringer off. I've got how to get into a good mood down to a science - no, not science - an art. So long as I don't do it too often a little self-indulgence goes a long way. With The King to serenade me, a glass of chilled white wine and gooey brie on fresh bread, I can only succeed. I can feel the warmth rising already, though to be fair, that could be the alcohol... but worst part was alcohol did not even work on the wolves.
So even though it was good thought I knew that I had to speak. And not only about this. I had to speak to Serafina about her mother as well. I did not know why the vampire said that to me but I knew this in my heart that he was not lying. That he was telling me the truth and it meant a great deal to me.
“I saw four men,” I said quietly as both the woman came closer to me and looked at me.
“What kind of men? The four horsemen of Death kind? Is it a premonition of the Apocalypse?” asked Drima and I scowled at her.
“Shut up Drima. Let her speak. Why do you have to be so pessimistic always?” said Serafina.. She almost snapped at her. Better her than me, at least Drima was not going to be annoyed with me.
“No, nothing of the sort. I saw four different men. I mean, when it was red I felt that all my anger was ebbing away and it was being replaced by a strange eerie calm feeling. And then I saw Luke….I mean, I saw him in his human form,” I said and both the women sat up straighter this time.
“What the hell? Luke can change into human form? I thought that familiars could not do that?” whispered Serafina and I nodded. It was a secret and they both would guard it.
“When it was golden I saw a handsome man. I mean, he was literally beautiful rather than handsome…I have never seen anyone so beautiful in my life and he had this pair of gorgeous golden wings attached to his back…it almost felt like he looked like Fae,” I said and Serafina nodded.
“That is because you saw a Fae. And not the common one, you saw the Fae Prince, the son of Star Goddess, Titania and Fae King Oberon,” she said and I stared at her in disbelief.