Chapter 61 Half Awake, Half Asleep

Sophie had been staying at Étienne's house for a week and gradually felt that Étienne saw her recovering gradually, so he stayed home less and less. Even if he came back, he would only stay in his study to deal with his own matters. Sophie learned this from Leo. Étienne's company was just starting up.

Sophie knew his capabilities and charisma. Now, with such great ambition out of nowhere, his career would naturally thrive. She thought that with Evelyn gone, she would have an opportunity, but unexpectedly, it was still not possible. Sophie looked out the window. That incident was Étienne's self-blame. Did she really have to use such despicable means to stay by his side?

Watching Étienne's dark blue sports car pull into the garage, Sophie's heart told her that there was no turning back. This man was what she wanted. No matter what means she used, as long as he belonged to her, wouldn't that be enough? Why bother caring about so much?

Sophie ran into the living room and saw Étienne, who was pulling at his tie in irritation. It must be another tedious and obligatory social gathering that he had to attend and he had been drinking. When he looked up and saw her, his eyes were full of anticipation. But in an instant, he lost focus, and quickly recognized Sophie's presence. The light in his eyes gradually extinguished.

Sophie could see all these details, but still mustered up the courage to approach him. "You're back? Had a drink? Feeling uncomfortable? Do you want me to..."

Étienne had already changed his shoes and walked towards the guest room.

Before he took his leave, his gaze only lingered for a moment. "No need, rest. I have things to take care of," he said, seeming to realize the pronounced detachment in his tone. Still, he turned to look at her. "Thank you."

Sophie wanted to say, "I don't need your thanks." But the words stayed at the tip of her tongue. What right did she have? She didn't have it before, and now, after experiencing all this, she had even less right. Watching Étienne enter the room, the sound of the door closing resonated in her ears.

Sophie's heart was filled with bitterness. But what could she do? Her love arrived late, so it expired. That was the reality.

The liquor in the cabinet seemed to emit an enticing aroma at this moment. Sophie unconsciously moved closer. It turned out that one could drown their sorrows by getting drunk. Sophie didn't know how much she drank. The bottle fell to the ground, rolling a few times before stopping at Étienne's feet. He picked it up, threw it into the trash bin, and walked towards Sophie.

Sophie looked up at Étienne in a blurry state. "It turns out that being drunk really takes away the sadness."

Étienne lowered his head and looked at her face. How unwilling was he back then? But now, he didn't feel anything at this moment. However, why did he still miss Evelyn so much? Could it be that soon he would forget everything?

Étienne took a sip of the liquor, diluting the bitterness in his heart slightly. Sophie stood up unsteadily. With her slender and fair hands, she gently caressed Étienne's cheek, softly stroking it. What should they do? How she wanted to be a little reckless.

Sophie slowly approached, her cold lips touching his, slowly rising on her tiptoes, bit by bit. Étienne kept his eyes open and sober, not hiding away. At this moment, he just wanted to know if he could still love someone else.

Sophie truly mustered up great courage. The memory of that night still lingered in her mind, but she knew that whether it be acceptance or rejection, perhaps there was only one chance. Returning to Étienne's side once again, things had changed, too much pent-up emotion accumulated over six years that couldn't be released. Just this once, even if it's only once.

Sophie reached out and hooked Étienne's neck, getting herself infinitely closer. Step by step, their eyes, eyebrows, and the bridge of Étienne's nose. They could feel each other's breath growing warmer, and their proximity getting closer.

Étienne's hands hung by his sides, seemingly weighing a thousand pounds. Every cell in his body clamored, urging him to continue. But the face that kept appearing in his mind reminded him clearly that he couldn't do it. It was simply impossible!

Étienne stood awkwardly, not knowing what to make of himself anymore.

As Sophie gently approached Étienne's lips, he turned his face to the side and evaded. Sophie couldn't believe it, nor did she want to believe it. She held him tightly, avoiding the places he tried to escape, continuing downwards. "I won't touch the places you don't want me to, but please entrust me with everything you can accept. Can't you fulfill this humble love for me?"

Étienne lifted his hands after hearing her words.

He pushed Sophie away and said, "I'm sorry."

Sophie held onto his hands and said, "I don't want to hear apologies, you know? Women hate it the most when men say sorry."

Upon hearing these words, Étienne's heart skipped a beat. So that's how it is. But he quickly cursed himself, why does it matter to him anymore? Why should he keep thinking about it?

Sophie rested her head on his shoulder, unsure if she was catching her breath or weeping. After a while, seeing no response from Étienne, she understood. Her guilt prevented him from pushing her away cruelly, while his guilt towards another person prevented him from continuing. Such a man was alluring yet deadly.

"I'm drunk," Sophie said as she let go of his hands. It was a foolish thing to do, but once was enough, it was really enough. "I'll forget everything when I wake up tomorrow. I've rested for a long time, it's time to go back to work." After saying these words, Sophie saw Étienne nod in relief. Unable to control herself, she laughed self-deprecatingly.

They both turned and went into their rooms, sleepless for the whole night. The profound silence of the frigid night left them at a loss. Sitting up on the bed, Sophie looked around. This was Étienne's master bedroom, and even though she had lived here for a long time, it still carried his scent. It was truly enchanting, but no matter how captivating, it would never be hers.

Étienne took out a bottle of alcohol he had just retrieved from the liquor cabinet outside. It had been a long time since he had enjoyed alcohol like this. Lately, he had started drinking again, just a little from time to time. It seemed that the alcohol wouldn't intoxicate him, but instead keep him sober. Sober enough to witness his own decadence. There was a strange kind of happiness in it.

Étienne had tried to investigate where Evelyn had gone, but there was no trace, nothing at all. In his impulsive moments, he considered kidnapping Vivian and interrogating her. She must know the truth. However, when he calmed down, he would ask himself, what's the point of doing that? Ask, know, and then what?

The most terrifying thing isn't being unable to solve a problem, but rather, solving the immediate puzzle, and then what? It was a cruel question, so helpless: and then what? Even if he understood it was just his own presumption, he would push away the longing. This was the most powerless aspect for Étienne.

As the sky grew brighter, Sophie heard the sound of the door closing. Étienne had left, just like that. Standing by the window, she watched his car smoothly disappear from her view, feeling many indescribable emotions. Turning around, she packed her luggage and tried her best to restore the room to its original state.

As she walked out, Sophie coincidentally encountered the maid, Calliope, carrying fresh vegetables to prepare breakfast. They had spent a lot of time together and gradually grew familiar. Setting her luggage aside, she greeted her, "You don't have to come unless Mr. Chevalier instructs you. I'm moving out today, it's not suitable for me anymore."

Calliope was perceptive and had probably guessed the reason behind it. She might be worried about this lady who had been infatuated with Mr. Chevalier.

Mr. Chevalier, on the other hand, was not very appreciative of Calliope's help. At this moment, it was difficult to say anything, so she could only nod and agree. "Well, you have my number. Call me if you want to eat something. I'll make it for you."

Sophie, who had long been an orphan, felt a surge of sourness in her heart as she looked at Calliope. She approached and hugged her, making sure she couldn't see her tears. "Alright, Calliope. Take care of yourself too."

When they let go, Calliope's eyes were surprisingly reddened. Indeed, it's easier to be sentimental as one gets older.

Calliope looked at her, understanding that she had been through some hardships. Seeing the girl who seemed fine now, it still made her feel sad. "I'll make you something to eat. You can have it before you leave."

Sophie couldn't refuse and nodded in agreement. Calliope was skilled in cooking and had taken care of Étienne for many years.

Unable to resist, Sophie asked Calliope, who was busy in the kitchen, "Calliope, do you remember anything from six years ago?"

Not knowing the significance of this question, she just wanted to confirm with her old acquaintance that she had indeed left something for Étienne's life. It was a scary and pitiful thought.

Calliope continued flipping vegetables in the pot without looking back. "What? I've been with Mr. Chevalier for many years now. Six years ago, he seemed to have suddenly returned to France, just visiting me by chance. It was only last year when he came back to stay permanently, like now."

So, he left the United States as soon as that happened and returned to France? Or was it for some other reason?

Sophie continued, "Do you know why he went back?"

"I'm not sure about that, but before he left, Mr. Chevalier seemed really sad. He hardly ate or slept. Leo mentioned that he used to go to an amusement park every day. I'm not sure what he did there, but he often didn't come back."

An amusement park? Did he really keep going there? So, he still couldn't let go. Though Sophie didn't know what she would gain from knowing this, just asking made her feel a little better. At least, the blow from last night wouldn't be as evident. It was a self-deception.

Leo watched Étienne's daily struggles, feeling utterly helpless. He couldn't understand why Evelyn could cause him to become like this. Étienne interrupted his contemplation, "Leo! Bring the person who's working on that project to me, immediately!"

Leo nodded and was about to leave when Étienne lowered his voice and added, "Don't look at me like that anymore." Without turning back, Leo opened the door and left. They say that those involved are often blind, but isn't it the astute ones who remain clear-headed? It's when you watch yourself sink, fully aware, that is truly frustrating.