Chapter Thirty Four

"This might seem different from my tone earlier today, but I think I'm beginning to catch feelings for you. I have never felt this way before, so you have to understand the fact that I'm a little nervous. Eloping with you seems a little too extreme. How about we stay friends until I'm ready to take the next move?" I sent the message to Keddy and waited for a response.
Nancy stared down at me while I texted, she was worried about why I had suddenly stopped talking, and began to type. Her wrinkled brow showed the unasked questions and genuine concern. Her eyes darted from me to my phone, she was curious.
"I think I made my decision." I finally said asking the question she was yet to answer.
"About what?" I didn't tell her about Keddy earlier. I told her about the other scenes of my life, but not how I had gone out to meet Keddy. "Is there a guy you think might be right for you?" There was excitement in her tone, genuine affection was what I had interpreted it to be. I wasn't excited like she was, I was nervous, unready, overthinking.
"Cammie?" She stretched my name in a seductive manner, the way I used to hear girls tease their friends in highschool.
"I'm not sure yet, but I think I'm beginning to feel what you guys call love."
"Owwww!" She had almost screamed out in excitement, her voice tingled and rang loudly.
"Shhhh!" I hushed her, placing my index finger on my lips. "What would you tell them is making you scream? Hush. You don't want to attract Vivian and the rest."
"Oh please, are you planning to elope with him?" She sounded genuine happy for me, she blinked in a cute manner.
"Nah, I'm not. Maybe I would, but somethings are more important than others." By that, I meant that taking revenge on my father, and his gangmen. I was no longer interested in becoming the queen of the Mafia gangsters, all I wanted to do was have a life, take the long desired revenge, and be happy. I never thought I deserved happiness, but Keddy was beginning to spark up that hope and I wanted that feeling to burn forever.
"Take your time, Camilla. Missing out on love's true chance for you is a mistake no one should ever make. Because you will not get another chance, and even if true love doesn't have a happy ending, the process is always beautiful. If you think Keddy is the one for you, don't loose him. Trust the process, follow your heart, don't do anything you don't feel like. In the middle of wolves, a sheep can still be found. Even if all men are evil, I believe that men like my father still exist. You have told me everything that this gu did for you, and is still doing, I think that's super cute of him. Do not let resentment get the better part of you. Don't loose gold because your first finding was pyrite."
I was blushing before she was done with her sermon. Suddenly, love felt exciting. I couldn't wait to fall deeper into what I didn't realize was a trap. All I wanted was to keep this feeling alive, and even if I didn't know how to, I was desperate of keeping this love aglow.
A text came in. I don't remember being so swift in responding to any message like I had done with his. His text read, "Camilla, I haven't loved any girl like I love you. I promise I will not hurt you. Let me, and I will walk this beautiful journey with you next to me. It's really risky for me to stay back, the Sherlock Head gangsters are still after me. But I will stay, Cammie. For your sake, I'll stay." I blinked twice at the message, it was all happening so quickly. Yet this was the most beautiful message anyone ever sent me.
Early this morning, I was in rage when Vivian and Eleanor talked about love, and here I was, slipping into a trap that was so tactfully set up.
A trap of love, a trap with a beautiful process that didn't promise a happy ending. It wasn't a relationship where my body was all that wanted, it was a relationship where my decisions were priotized. I was too busy, thinking about what could possibly go wrong and what could possibly go right,
I didn't realize that I hadn't replied to Keddy's last message.
Another notification popped into my phone. Like I expected, it was a message from him. "will you be my girlfriend?"
This was definitely faster than I wanted it to be. It was a double no from me.
"No, Keddy, no!" I sent the message before I thought it through, and I was glad that I had sent it. He was too fast with everything. I didn't even know what it took to be his girlfriend, how was I going to cope with the rules laid down by Vicky?
"Lover girl." Nancy smiled. She seemed to be enjoying the act of staring at my face and noting my facial expressions.
"But why?" Keddy's message came in before I responded to her.
"I'll think about it and get back to you." After I sent him this, I shut my phone down and took a deep breath.
"What just happened?" I said in a loud voice. The question wasn't directed to Nancy with me in the room, neither was it directed to me. I couldn't believe I had changed my standards in so little time.
"Camila!" Nancy interrupted my search for an answer. "Do not loose this one opportunity, it's not going to be funny in the future if you do. Guys can be the worst but when you meet the one for you, they can also be the best." She stood to leave the room and just before she shut the door, she said. "follow your heart."