CHAPTER SIXTY

Jwala :

We went home after convocation. I changed my dress and came into the room. Agni came to my room.

"A small gift for you," he said giving me a chain with a simple heart-shaped locket.

I love simplistic chains with simple pendants. I remembered the time where Agni forced me to wear a necklace of complicated designs and big stones. I smiled looking at the chain.

"I hope you like it, don't you?" He asked.

"You already know about me and my tastes Agni. Thank you so much" I said.

"Make me wear it," I said.

He kept it around my neck and kissed my back. God, his fingers, and lips on my bare back are creating unknown sensations in me. He hugged me from the back.

"What did I do to get a husband like you? I am fortunate" I said.

"Luck is all mine," he said.

"Your passport and visa are ready," he said.

"Agni, I accepted to continue my studies. But I didn't mean I will go abroad leaving my husband and baby just for my studies. I am not that selfish Agni."

"Pursuing your dream career is not selfishness. I have planned everything already. I applied for your admission through online. Within two days, we will get mail inviting you for an interview. As you are a gold medalist and cleared GMAT, I don't think they will reject your application. After all your score is very high in GMAT too."

"You can't decide for me," I hollered at Agni.

What the hell is this? I know he loves me but how can he decide without listening to me. Already I left the baby for one year, and I didn't do anything for Agni too. I too have few responsibilities towards my family as a mother and wife. Baby needs mother the most for first three years. One year, I didn't give my love and didn't breastfeed her. What if this affects her physical or mental health? No, this time I can't go away from my child.

"I have the right to decide for you."

"How can you decide for me?" I asked.

"Jwala, if my decision spoils your life or gives pain to you, it's wrong. But if I decide something for you to give you immense happiness in future, then I can do it."

"Agni, you are hurting me thinking that you are making me happy," I said with tears.

He looked at me. He wiped my tears and held a teardrop on his forefinger.

"Your tears will soon turn into happy tears. I am sure about it."

"Anyways Jwala, sleep well. Tomorrow we had a baby naming ceremony. After the ceremony, we will go shopping. We had very less time to make arrangements for your leaving to the US" he declared and went off.

I sat on the bed and looked at my baby. I hugged her to myself crying. Why can't Agni understand my pain? Why is he so stubborn to send me to the US? I can study MBA even in India. Entrance is going to be held soon, and I applied for it too. I am sure I can clear it and having a good score in graduation helps me to get a seat in top University in India. It's my mistake to write GMAT. Why did I clear it without much thinking?

Next day I got ready in a sari and made baby ready. I didn't find Agni. Vedika told me that he went out on some urgent work and will return by the time set for a naming ceremony. I called him, but he rejected my calls. After one hour, he came back home and came to me.

"Where did you go early in the morning? Is the work that important than our baby naming ceremony to you" I yelled at him?

"Cool baby, I came on time. Yes, it's essential. I went to collect recommendation letters from your Dean and MD of the company where you have done as an apprentice. These are important for your admission into Business School."

"Hell with those letters. I don't care."

"Baby, Why are you so stubborn like me?" He said

"I am not like you, and I don't want to be like you" I shouted.

"But you like me, and I like you," he said kissing on my cheek.

"Now it's time for the naming ceremony. You can show your anger later. Now relax and come downstairs for the function" Agni said.

We went downstairs. The priest started the naming ceremony, and Agni disclosed the name chosen by him.

"Jagni," he said thrice in baby's ear.

"What does it mean?" Vedika asked.

"It's a combination of Agni and Jwala with a unique meaning. Baby reflects our love towards each other forever. The actual meaning of Jagni is five paths, i.e., Honour, Generosity, Light, Strength, and Courage.

This baby brought honour to our love and life.

Our baby is a symbol of generosity as she gave more than we expected. She is not just the heir of Agni, but she is the one who brought happiness and loves back into the lives of her parents.

Our baby is the light in our lives without whom our lives would become so dark.

She brought lost strength in her mother.

She helped me to show the courage hidden in her mother.

We completed the naming ceremony and had lunch. Agni came to me.

"Jwala, write a statement of purpose for your admission. Brief your career goals and the reason for applying to that particular Business School" he said giving me paper and pen.

"I am not interested," I said playing with babysitting on the bed.

He held my shoulder and made me stand up to face him.

"Is it fun for you Jwala? I am talking about an important issue, and you are not even paying attention to my words" he roared.

"Leave me Agni; it's hurting," I said trying to take his hand off of my shoulder.

He loosened his grip and held my hand pulling me closer to him.

"I didn't want to go leaving you and baby," I said

"Jwala, please try to understand. Opportunity knocks only once. This is an excellent opportunity for you for which many students wait for a long time. Jwala, I know it's tough to stay away from your family, but you should do it for your goal.

One day you may regret sacrificing this opportunity for us. This is what every girl does. Don't mix up love on the family with career. If you go abroad doesn't mean you are selfish or you didn't love us. I can understand you will miss us and we too miss you a lot" he said turning another side to avoid facing me.

"Agni, I know you and baby can't live without me," I said.

He turned towards me and cupped my face.

"Jwala, this is your dream. You must work for it. You may compromise today for the love you had on your family. But your heart regrets not fulfilling your dream.

We think that we set our goals. But, the God assigns the goals to us according to our capabilities. The Almighty sends everyone to the Earth on some mission. Finding our purpose and fulfilling it is our responsibility.

Many times, we give up on our dreams thinking we don't have enough abilities or the right situations to achieve them. But by saying those words to ourselves, we cheat ourselves. Just stop blaming circumstances and life. Give a try to fulfil your dream. Never quit until you get through it. Life is not for those who keep on blaming life and fate, but life is for those who never give up on their dreams and fight till they win it, though all the circumstances are against them.

I promise you that I will take care of our child. Every day I will talk to you on Skype and will show the baby to you. Baby won't hate you. I will raise the baby telling her that her mom went on some vital purpose and she will return after becoming an inspiration to her and many girls. Jwala, whatever we imprint on baby's mind, the baby will believe only those things. I am sure in my brought up; she will become a very loving and matured person" he said.